On Being Erin's Mother

Celebrating Chinese New Year FCC-SFL Style!!

2012-02-12T14:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday our local FCC chapter held their Chinese New Year party. Instead of going down to a restaurant in Miami like we've done in years past, we changed it up a bit. Well, quite a bit to be honest. We had a picnic for our members complete with a bounce house, catered food, balloon artistry, &, of course, the infamous lion dancers.

This past week the weather was awful. It rained so badly at one point, that I could have sworn ole Noah waved as he passed me by!! (The parking lots at school flooded.) All day Friday, I kept hoping that the rain would disappear in time for our party. Apparently, Lori was praying for it also because it worked!

So instead of having rain & worrying about keeping everyone happy but dry, we had a day straight from the northern states. It was so cold that people were shaking! Living in S FL, we don't really know how to handle the cold weather. Sun? Rain? No problem. Temps below 70? We want to hibernate. When I left my house in the morning, it was a breezy 65. Not bad. Unless, like me, you were wearing shorts.

But we are a persistent bunch of folks. We weren't letting a little thing like a cold snap get in our way. Oh no! Jackets were brought out. By those of us smart enough to have them in our cars. (Normally, I keep a spare hoodie in my car for both Erin & myself. She "helped" clean out my car in the early morning & put my hoodie in the house. Interesting how she left hers in the car though.)

Normally, I'd have my pics up, but Blogger seems to be arguing with me again. ARGH!!!

The Year of the Dragon

2012-01-23T20:21:00.000-05:00

Gung Hay Fat Choy!!

Xin Nian Kai Le!!

Coming to Terms With It

2012-01-15T12:46:00.000-05:00

Diagnosed in 2004 with diabetes, David has fought this disease every step of the way. Being honest about it, he is not great with his diet, but I'm on his case all the time.

Something I never blogged about was December of 2010. I don't know why. It was awful, but it should definitely be marked down as a landmark time in our lives. So much changed.

December 2, 2010 David had his first surgery - a trial for a spinal cord stimulator in his back. We needed to do something about the escalating pain from the diabetic neuropathy. After some tweaking, he decided it was a go.

December 22, 2010 David went in for a simple outpatient surgery to have a permanent spinal cord stimulator implanted. He ended up in ICU, & they couldn't get him extubated until the afternoon of the 24th. What I had found out was that they were keeping him hyped up on meds & trying to extubate him without me there. When I finally got there, I made them let me handle David. It took quite a while, but by the mid-afternoon, when they tried again, they were finally successful.

The pain levels were astounding. Why? Well, no one paid attention to me when I said his dosages weren't being administered properly. It took a lot of threats to get them to contact the doctor managing his pain throughout this event. Let me tell you, the doctor was not happy at all. He had left orders that he was to be contacted if there was a problem. Needless to say, his pain meds dosages were finally adjusted. When the surgeon came in, I asked about bringing David home. I was up front about our experience in the hospital & that David would recover faster at home. Thankfully, the surgeon agreed & David finally came home. Oh! And, the surgeon will never go to that hospital again. He has privileges there, but hasn't gone there in years. He did it as a favor to us since it was convenient for us.

Erin had been staying with Jolene & her family throughout this week. A few hours after I got David settled, Jolene brought Erin back home & left us with a care package since she knew we weren't going to be thinking of food. She did this for us on her holiday - Christmas Day. Let's just say that in David's eyes, Jolene is a hero.

He went back to work on February 1, 2011. Within the hour, he was let go from his job. His boss decided that rather than accomodate David & his needs, they no longer had a job for him. And the fight was on. We won! July 2011 David was reinstated as a disabled retired employee. We also won disability from S*cial Secur!ty.

In the end, it was for the best.

David can't work anymore. His pain meds keep him up till all hours of the night, & then he crashes from the exhaustion. He has no ability to concentrate.

In the last year, I have encouraged David to continue with his hobbies - astronomy, model building, saltwater fish tanks. We've made changes to how he deals with his hobbies & the limitations his neuropathy has put in his path. I insist he keep up with all of it to the best of his ability. He's really doing well with it. It takes longer to build a model. I bought him a motorized cart for his telescope so he can move it easier. Things like that.

Today we came to terms with the fact that he can't keep up with our fish tank. It's a saltwater tank & beautiful. He just can't do the water changes & other maintenance. I've been waiting for him to make the decision & voice it. He was waiting for me to voice my decision. Now we have to find out how to sell everything. And if there is anyone who even wants to buy it all.

And we're coming to terms with it all.

Unhappily but realistically.

Bribery? You Bet Your sweet Bippy!

2012-01-09T20:19:00.000-05:00

It is official.

We have joined you.

The many. The desperate.

Yup. We gave in.

Why?

Ah! Now that is a good question.

We did it because we felt we had no choice.

Oh! You want to know what we did!? That's easy.

We have decided to bribe Erin. She HATES to read. (And if you know me, you know that we don't encourage the use of the word "hate.") At her age, she should be reading with good comprehension & fluidity (Is that even a word?). Erin will do anything to avoid reading. She has really improved since last year, but it is still a major struggle to get her to read.

After emailing with her teacher today, I found out that Erin didn't do as well as we had hoped on some of her standardized testing. Mrs. W wants Erin to read everyday. For fun. Ha! That is just so darn funny! Mrs. W knows Erin really well so I'm sure she felt she had to put that in writing even knowing that Erin hates reading.

Consequences? They mean nothing to her because she refuses to read. David, my oh so wise, guy came up with a plan. Instead of taking away privileges, we are now going to bribe Erin. With her allowance.

We started giving Erin an allowance each week. It wasn't tied to anything - no chores, nothing. Now we're bribing her. She gets $1 a day. As long as she reads for at least a half hour. Smart kid asked what she would get if she read for a longer period of time. I told her she would get the satisfaction of knowing she'd found a book that she enjoyed. (Yes. She rolled her eyes. And, no, I didn't get upset.)

And what happens when she doesn't read?

No allowance.

That simple.

Made In China

2012-01-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

Tonight Erin was building the model she received for Chanukah from David & me. Out of the blue she made the comment "Why is everything made in China?" in a very negative tone.

I explained that many things are made in China because the cost of labor is cheaper. I told her that people want to buy things made in America because that way we can keep people employed here. Not everything made in China is poor quality. Not everything made in the U.S. is good quality.

This topic came up before but she wasn't ready for the conversation - even at the most basic level. This time I felt that she deserved an answer.

Why did "made in China" come up? Because all around us, people don't think about what they're saying.. They don't realize the effect their words will have on those around them.

This is the perception Erin has of things that are made in China.

By the way, Erin was made in China. So was her godsister. So were many of her friends.

The next time you are thinking of making a negative comment about things made in China? Don't.

Nights 5 & 6

2011-12-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

Chanukah 2011 seems to have been the year of games. Erin has always been interested in having games but not in playing them. Or should I say, playing them correctly? This year we decided that rather than have a ton of crafty gifts, it was time to load her up on games. And, of course, to play them correctly.

In fact, it started out with her receiving a board game at her friends' Ethan &Katie Starr's annual Chanukah party! There is a new game out called HeadBandz which she got in the grab bag gift exchange. She really wanted it, but just how many games can one girl have!? (Apparently a lot, if you look at my friend Sandra's daughters' games!)

Erin had lost parts to her Monopoly game. That needed to be replaced. Whenever we play Scrabble, the cats walk all over the board moving tiles everywhere. Sandra took a picture of her daughter playing Scrabble where the tiles were locked into place. Oh yea! I replaced our set & got the tile locking set.

Spinagogue isn't going to work out quite the way I thought it would. She's more interested in the stop watch & timing everything than she is in spinning the dreidels tournament style. Her godsister sent her an old game that has been changed up. I loved Clue as a kid! Of course I had what is now known as Clue Classic. Erin was thrilled to receive Clue Harry Potter! And, the other gift from Kerri? Went over BIG also. Wii Harry Potter! Both Erin & Kerri are HUGE Potter fans. (Can't imagine where they got that from!)

One of the things I've really wanted is a Pandora bracelet. I found one that I liked that is pink leather. I can't wait to put my beads on it. David LOVES his new model & the movies that he received. That man can watch sci-fi from the beginning of the day till the end of time. In fact, he's already watched both movies & is trying to figure out how to get me to watch them too. Thank you so much Vivian, Corey & Kerri!!!

Last night, the 6th night, Erin got another game she's been wanting.

Mancala isn't played exactly the way she has been playing it, but even with the correct rules it's fun!

The 4th Night? A Big Hit

2011-12-24T08:48:00.000-05:00

For months before Chanukah we kept asking Erin what she wanted for her presents. It just makes sense to ask for a list of things. Erin knows that she is giving us a list & she may or may not get some or all of what's on the list. In fact we make a point of reminding her that she can ask for anything but that Chanukah is only 8 nights. She gets her present(s) from both sets of grandparents on one night. There is also a night that is dedicated to presents from her godsister Kerri & Kerri's parents. David & I take care of the other nights.

This year Erin has been asking for a Wii. We weren't really sure we could swing it so we told her that she shouldn't count on getting one. Since we usually splurge on one big gift, I convinced David that this would work. He is concerned about Erin (or perhaps me?) accidentally throwing the Wii controller into our tv. I told him we could put a Wii in our front bedroom which doubles as an office, but that means buying a new tv, or that we could enforce a rule that the wristlet attached to the controller always be worn if we put it into our family room.

I put the huge box out right before lighting candles. Erin just wanted to open her big present even though she had no clue what was inside. I think the Wii went over really well.

This is one happy girl which makes me one happy mama.

Night 3

2011-12-23T20:19:00.000-05:00

Last night we celebrated the 3rd night of Chanukah. Erin got a gift that is new to the market. Spinagogue is tournament dreidel playing. At first she was confused, but my smart girl figured it out. In the end, I think she's more charmed by the stopwatch that came with the game!

Last night also brough a huge surprise for me also. Last year David surprised me with the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer series. This year, he gave me the entire Angel series! I have really been wanting that but didn't say anything.

He also gave me some beads for a new bracelet that I'll be getting tomorrow night. Shhh!! Don't tell anyone I know about that!

Grandparents' Night

2011-12-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

The 2nd night of Chanukah was thanks to Erin's grandparents. Bubbie & Zaydie (my father & stepmother) and Grandma & Grandpa (David's parents) sent her the Razor Spark scooter she's been begging to get. Her last scooter got ruined, & she had really been asking for this one for a long time. Erin had been hinting at this particular scooter almost daily for the last few months.

David surprised me with another gift also. I really enjoy scrapbooking even though I haven't done more than 3 or 4 pages since school started. A few months ago, one of the magazines I get made mention of a new book that has a gazillion suggestions for journaling & card making. Not only did I get the book, but it's autographed by the author!!

All of this aside, my favorite part of the evening was allowing Erin to light the candles on her own. She has been asking to help me for days, & I thought it would be fine. When it came time to actually light them, Erin reminded me that I had said she could help me. At the very last minute, I decided to let her light them on her own. I've been lighting the candles since I was her age. Now it's her turn.

ARGH!!! Blogger isn't letting me upload pictures!!!

Sorry!!

The True Gift of Chanukah

2011-12-21T10:51:00.000-05:00

The first night of Chanukah was a true gift to me!

The aroma of brisket was all around us. I was practically drooling it smelled so good in the house! Erin was trying to figure out how to get some before her daddy woke up. Normally, I'll take a bit to taste - just to see how it is, but this is one recipe that has never failed me. I held off.

David woke up & wasn't feeling well. At all. But, man was he determined. His job on Chanukah has always been to make the latkes. I mean. let's face it, his latkes are yummy! I told him the latkes could wait, but there was no way he was letting that happen after last year when we had to go without any due to his surgery.

Brisket was served. Latkes were served. Erin decided that she doesn't like the brisket. Of course, she still isn't a big red meat eater so I wasn't upset. David & I enjoyed it all while she picked at a few latkes.

Erin chose this year's chanukiah (menorah) - the one we got from his aunt when she passed away. The candles were lit, & the presents came out. I gave David the complete "The Godfather" series on blu ray along with a book on Photoshop for Astronomy. He gave me the mp3 player I'd been wanting. Then we gave Erin her gifts. She absolutely loved them! David picked out a model for her while I picked out a new necklace - a leather "chain" with a blue guitar pick that has a Jewish star on it. The iTunes gift card went over well also.

And then the real gift happened.

Erin always wants to buy things for us. She loves to give gifts. This year David & I sat her down & told her that the best gift she could ever give to us was something that she made. She had a holiday bazaar at school at the time so we wanted her to understand that those things would really hold no value. I told her that when my own mother passed away & I had to go through her belongings, I found many of the cards I had given to her over the years, but only the ones I had made. In fact, I still have the necklace my brother Seth made for her when he was in, I think, 2nd grade.

Well, Erin came out of her room with a bunch of little gift wrapped items. Oy! I had to wonder what was in all of those things held together with way too much wrapping paper & about 4 rolls of tape. (She needs lessons on being frugal with wrapping paper & tape for sure!) David & I opened each little package. It seems that Erin really heard us. She painted some ceramic trains that were in her craft area & wrote cards & letters to us.

Of all the things that were given last night, I know I will forever treasure the little note she typed on the computer. . .

What Life Is All About These Days

2011-12-17T18:00:00.000-05:00

School started at the end of August, & my life has been filled with learning all kinds of things. I'm in school for medical coding & billing. Who knew I'd need to know all about these awful diseases? Not me. But thanks to a wonderful teacher who knows how to push all of my buttons (& not necessarily in the right way), I'm learning & enjoying it all. I've had to do reports on sorts of diseases. Some I know about personally. Some I've wanted to learn about because of the children & adults in my life who inspire me.

Lupus

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

Rosacea

Reactive Attachment Disorder

COPD

Fibromyalgia

SO. Now you know what I've been up to these last few months. I graduate this coming June. I don't know who is looking forward to my graduation more. David has had to put up with my stubbornness & tantrums when I'm scared. Erin has really hated not having me spend enough time with her. Me? I can't wait. For a new career that will bring a paycheck. For time with my husband so we can go back to being us. For my daughter who really misses time with me as much as I miss time with her.

Do I Continue?

2011-11-06T07:42:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in months. Blogger doesn't seem to like me anymore. I can't upload any pictures. I can leave comments on only a few of my friends' blogs. I'm very frustrated because I miss blogging.

I started to blog because I wanted Erin to have a record of what was going on in our life when she's older. Blogging quickly became therapeutic for me. And then Blogger quit on me. So sad.

I'm considering moving over to another platform for blogging. I just have to find one that is moron-proof. So. Do I love over to another platform & continue, or do I give it up?

Annual Checkup & Answers

2011-07-14T19:49:00.000-05:00

In 2010 at her 8 year old checkup, Erin weighed 43.5 pounds and was 45.25 inches tall. I've been saying that she had a growth spurt this past year. I was right.

At today's checkup, Erin weighed 48.5 pounds & is 46.5 inches tall. That's a pretty nice growth spurt!

As always, Dr. L was wonderful. She spoke with Erin asking her all the usual questions. I laughed when she asked if Erin ate well - fruit, veggies, etc. Let's face it. Erin thinks chicken nuggets are a way of life, & if she absolutely has to eat vegetables, she'll eat some corn. I kept quiet (or as quiet as I can be) & listened to what Erin had to say. Then it was my turn.

I explained to Dr. L about all the changes in our life since 2010 - my job loss, David's surgeries & his subsequent job loss. Of course no matter how hard a parent tries to make things easier for their children, the children know something is up. Erin is no dummy.

Right before the nurse left us in the exam room, she gave Erin one of those paper gowns to wear for her exam. Erin didn't want to wear it & kept reminding me that she didn't have to wear it last year. I got so upset that I took her shirt off & put the gown on. What a mean mommy!

Wow! What an eye opener! Immediately, Erin threw a tantrum - screaming, crying & twisting her hands as if she just couldn't handle it. Being who I am, I couldn't let her be like that. I took the gown off & put her regular shirt on. Holding her in my lap, calming her down, I was able to get her to tell me that the gown hurt her. Hmmm . . .

I spoke with Dr. L about things bluntly. I told her what happened with the paper gown, Erin's academic issues, sleep issues, texture issues & everything. I mentioned that I had done some research on my own (which I know all doctors love to hear) & believe that Erin has markers for both Sensory Processing & Auditory Processing Disorders. I love that Dr. L really listened to me.

In her opinion, Erin may have short term memory problems along with the possibility of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) & APD (Auditory Processing Disorder). She was, as always, very helpful. I now have the names of 2 doctors that work with the school district & can assess her for short term memory problems. I also have the name of an audiologist for an evaluation for SPD & APD.

I'll be on the phone tomorrow setting up appointments. G-d willing we're on our way to getting Erin the help she needs.

Swim Lessons End

2011-06-26T23:43:00.000-05:00

Today was the last day of swim lessons for Erin.

Last night all she could do was scream & cry that she didn't want to go. Why? Because her swim instructor was going to make them jump off the diving board! Oh wow! I used to love that as a kid. Then it dawned on me. Water! Jumping into a pool that was deeper than what she's used to. All of her fears trying to resurface. I told her that jumping off the lowest diving board was going to be tons of fun that she would want to keep doing it over & over. Boy did I hope that was the case!

When we got to the pool this morning, it was all I could do to keep Erin in the car until I found a parking spot. Of course, I didn't. She got out & went right to the waiting area. By the time I got there, she was raring to go. I kept my mouth shut & reminded her that this was going to be "the funnest lesson ever."

She was really nervous about jumping but went along with a positive attitude. I was truly proud of her for attempting this even though she was visibly nervous. And she loved it. Absolutely, positively loved it!

After the lessons ended, I asked her swim instructor what he thought our next step should be. Apparently, Erin's technique is very good, but he recommended that we repeat the same class so she can work on her endurance. She needs to be able to swim the length of the entire pool back & forth. He said that she can move on to stroke development afterwards to learn some new things.

Considering Erin's fear of water from the time we got her until just a few years ago, I am totally amazed. She now loves going to the pool &/or taking showers/baths. In fact, I'm hard pressed to keep her out of the water. Yay for you Erin!

Fathers Day 2011 Came Early

2011-06-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

This past Tuesday, I took Erin over to Michael's to make a craft for David's Fathers Day gift. We were meeting up with Shari & Chianna for a fun evening. Needless to say, Erin couldn't have been more excited. After all, what could be better than time with a friend & getting to do a craft!?

This evening, before dinner, Erin & I met Lori & Mark along with the DD over at Cecilie's Gourmet Ices for a treat. While Erin chatted it up & played with her buddies, I got a chance to sit & talk with Lori & Mark. I really don't get enough "grown up time" outside of the house.

Erin really enjoys time with all of her friends but I love the connection she feels deep down in her bones for her FCC buddies. Planning little treats like yesterday & this evening are what this summer is all about!

When we got home this evening, unfortunately the weather took its toll on my asthma. I ended up asking David to cook the dinner I had planned. Ya just gotta love a good grilled steak accompanied by portabello mushrooms. I didn't expect it, but Erin was even willing to try some steak! To top it off, she even liked it. Of course, she only ate about 2 bites of steak, but I'll say "Yay!" just for the progress of her saying she'd try it.

All day long Erin has been super excited about the gifts she made for her daddy. As we were finishing dinner, she asked if she could give David his gifts. Anyone who really knows us, is well aware of the fact that we never (& I do mean never!) wait for the actual day to exchange our gifts. The excitement & thrill of giving the gift is as wonderful to us as the receiving of the gift. This bug has taken a chunk out of our girl. Erin hates to wait for any special day to give a gift!

She brought 2 gift bags just absolutely stuffed to the gills with tissue paper to David! I think David was almost digging for gold trying to find his goodies! Oh! The look on their faces was pure joy. Erin loved seeing her daddy open his gifts. David was so touched by her excitement & the gifts themselves showed that Erin really gets her daddy. Me? I loved watching both the giving & the receiving of these gifts.

On This Day

2011-06-02T13:10:00.000-05:00

On this day 8 years ago, David & I became parents.

On this day 8 years ago, Erin became a daughter.

On this day 8 years ago, we became a family.

There aren't enough words to thank anyone &/or everyone. But we do.

To the woman who carried this child for 9 months, thank you.

To Mrs. Yu & the nannies who care for this child while we waited to become a family, thank you.

To the people of the CCAA who decided we belong together & matched us, thank you.

To the family, friends & co-workers who encouraged David & me to become parents, thank you.

To G-d above who decided that we really didn't have to be childless & that Chun HuaXu needed parents, thank you.

And to Erin the child that we have loved since the day we decided to adopt, we thank you. From the first moment we saw your sweet, little face we knew that we were a family meant to be.

Thank you Erin for showing your daddy that he could be a daddy & showing him just how much of a good daddy he is.

Thank you Erin for showing me that I can step back & learn to do things in a way that isn't my way & for understanding that I needed to be shown how to be silly.

Thank you Erin for adopting us as much as we adopted you.

459 AWBB AAF NMW!!

Learning to Listen

2011-05-31T12:14:00.001-05:00

I've learned to listen to me.

Not anyone else.

I've learned to trust my own instincts when it comes to Erin.

Since I became a mother in 2003, I've had to learn so much.

I listened to many people.

Do this.

No.

Don't do this.

Do that.

One person decided that since I wasn't going to mother my child the way she mothered her own child, she didn't want me in her life. I wasn't listening. To her. I cried about it. For weeks.

Overwhelmed.

That's how I felt.

Here we are almost 8 years later. I'm finally learning to listen. To Me. No one else.

Each year in school, I was concerned about Erin's progress. She wasn't keeping up. Everyone told me to wait until Winter Break. She'll catch up around Christmas they all told me.

This year I stopped listening to everyone else. I approached Erin's teachers almost immediately with my concerns. To a one they all listened. To me. This time someone was listening to what I had to say.

So now Erin reads. But doesn't comprehend what she's reading.

So now Erin can do simple math. But doesn't retain it.

So now Erin can write a small essay. But doesn't always keep on track.

So now I've put my foot down.

I have 4 amazing advocates for Erin at her school. Her 3 teachers have been with me each & every step of the way. Her principal has listened to what I have to say.

I am so sad that I never made anyone sit up & listen & hear.

To Erin. Who was floundering.

To Me. Who had the degree & is the parent but was unsure.

We received the results of Erin's benchmark testing & the FCAT.

They heard me.

But more importantly they heard Erin.

If you've heard me.
In some small way.
Learn my lesson.
Please.

Listen.
Listen to yourself.
But most importantly.
Listen to your child.

Her Eyes Rock!

2011-05-21T15:18:00.000-05:00

Today was the appointment to have Erin's vision checked. I am always amazed at how Erin takes some things in stride. I hate going to the eye doctor. I've been seeing them since I was 2, and it hasn't changed for me. The experience is always awful.

When they called both Erin and me at the same time, I wanted her to go first. My theory was that if she went first, then she wouldn't see me all stressed out. I shouldn't have worried. She breezed right through the exam. David and I told him our different concerns - dyslexia (his concern) and developmental issues (my concern). Dr. Gendall was thrilled with Erin. According to him, she has perfect vision and her vision tracking is so good that she should be an athlete. Good guess since she has been taking karate since she was 4 1/2 and loves to play sports!

Apparently my college education was valid. It is his opinion that any issues are developmental due to her young age. He recommended a doctor to have her evaluated, and I will definitely be looking into this.

The Oh So Special Annie T

2011-05-19T22:09:00.000-05:00

Annie became a very special person in our lives when Erin was about 18 months old. She used to be a server at one of our very favorite sushi places.

From the first time that they saw each other, both Annie & Erin have had a connection. Back then, Erin wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything even slightly Asian. Annie quickly set about making sure that Erin realized being Chinese was special. When we went to the restaurant, she always took special care of Erin - drawing her famous mini-rabbit on Erin's lemonade cups, teaching her to use chopsticks, even taking her to see the koi pond that is in the restaurant!

When Erin was about 4, Annie left the restaurant & moved south. Before she left, Annie wanted to make sure that Erin didn't forget her & gave her a gift. Of course, you know it had to be a bunny. Yup. A 5 foot tall stuffed, pink rabbit. We actually kept it until this past week when we discovered that Riker & Troi had been giving Pink Bunny (Erin named it!) a haircut.

We even went to visit Annie once at the restaurant that she moved to. Yes. David drove an hour just to go see this very special person. Anyone who knows David, knows he doesn't go anywhere unless there is a very good reason! In the middle of the day. In the middle of a crowded restaurant. Annie & Erin saw each other & the tone for the afternoon was set. Yes. This girl must have been special.

David & I always talked about how we needed to go & visit Annie, but time got away from us. Between both of our jobs, being parents & life in general, we never made it down to visit Annie again. It bothered us, & we lost touch for a while.

FaceB**k is so amazing that Annie & I found each other again. Immediately she asked how Erin was doing & wanted to see pics. When Erin discovered that Annie was one of my FB friends, she demanded to see pics of Annie. Since this time, Annie has gone on to a wonderful career working with the Taiwan Cultural Association. (Sorry if I got the exact name wrong Annie.)

Annie has continually invited all of us to the many Asian cultural events in S FL. She insists that Erin be proud of who she is & where she came from. That said, a few days ago Annie sent us tickets to the Taiwanese American Heritage "Chinese Diabolo & Folk Sports Performance" event that was practically around the corner from our house. Erin asked that her buddy Chianna come to the event along with her parents.

What a great evening!! Both Erin & Chianna were totally amazed by the kids' performance. Heck! Shari, Myke & I were pretty amazed too! To top it all off, Annie & Erin got to see each other after 4 years. I don't know who was more excited!

Annie, thank you. Thank you for being such a kind & caring person. Thank you for helping Erin to see that being Chinese is important. Thank you for being you!

Oh! And Annie, I finally found the chops that we got from China. Now we have to get together again so you can translate them for me. Let's not wait another 4 years!

Swimming Lessons

2011-05-14T18:19:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo!! We finally did it!

Over the last few years Erin has learned to enjoy swimming. She enjoys it so much that our neighbors think she came with their pool. ;-)

Aside from a few lessons back when Erin & I traveled to Texas for our travel group reunion, she has never been given formal lessons. Living where we do, that is a big no no. Sad to say, but drowning is something we hear about almost weekly in S FL. Whenever we have allowed Erin to go swimming, there has always been someone around who is certified in CPR.

Since Erin isn't going to camp this summer, David & I are trying to find ways to fill her days. I've been talking with my friend Lisa about swimming lessons. Her son & daughter take them each summer. This time I decided that I would look into getting Erin the formal lessons she really needs to have.

With Lisa's help, I found out where our city gives the lessons & evaluates the children to see where they are at in their swimming skills. This morning, after a world class tantrum about how she knows everything there is to know about swimming, David & I took Erin to get evaluated. The young lady who did the evaluation was very nice & explained to Erin that there are always things to learn.

So. Erin starts taking Swimming Fundamentals 2 on June 4th. We couldn't find a time during the week that worked. All of the available time slots were either at 8:00 am or at 5:00 pm. We had told Erin that this summer she could sleep late. 8:00 am class wasn't going to let her do that. The 5:00 pm class was going to coincide with her karate lessons. Karate is a priority in our home. Not knowing what to do, we turned the decision over to Erin. She decided to take her lessons on Saturday & Sunday mornings at 11:00 am. We're hoping she won't complain too much since she made the choice. We'll see.

Either way, Erin is all set to learn about proper breathing & swim strokes. She looks good in the water & does have a good base but needs to get more of a foundation. If she likes it, maybe we'll sign her up for another session.

Have I Really Failed Her?

2011-05-13T19:30:00.000-05:00

Where do I start? There is so much going on. I feel as if I've failed Erin in some way. Actually in many ways. Perhaps I've been too pigheaded, stubborn or not wanted to see what was going on. Now that I see it, all I can do is cry.

Erin has a late summer birthday - July 30th which means that she started VPK not long after she turned 4. I thought back then that maybe it would be in her best interest to retain her, but her teacher told me not to worry because she would catch up. When she was in Kindergarten, I noticed that she was having a hard time but again listened to her teacher. . Her 1st/2nd grade cluster teachers were really sweet & told me not to pressure Erin. I didn't. And each year, right after Winter Break, Erin did catch up

This year, 3rd grade, I have been having conferences with her teachers consistently. We all agree that Erin is all over the place. She can come home with A's & B's as easily as she comes home with D's & F's. Her comprehension & retention don't seem to be catching up this year. It breaks my heart each time she gets in my car at pickup & tells me "I tried my hardest but all I got was a ---. I'm sorry mama."

FCAT time was awful. Absolutely awful. Each day she would tell me that the test was hard but that she really tried her best. Not long after this, her teachers were showing some movies in class. One day she came home so happy to have seen The S*und of Mus!c that she was singing all the songs. Another day she came home & told me that she saw a movie again. This time when I asked her about the movie, she didn't remember anything - the name of the movie, who was in it - not even what it was about. I was heartbroken.

The key thing here is that Erin's teachers are amazing. They are totally on board with David & me. I love that we are working as a team. They are open to any & all questions & have given me some good advice. Her homeroom teacher Mrs. W. who is also her reading teacher has been very open with me about her own experiences with her son. Now how often have you known a teacher to be downright human!? She has told me that if Erin is retained, it won't be the end of the world for either Erin or us because in the end, Erin will do what Erin will do. She is all for doing the right thing & not passing her to the next grade just because that is what is expected. All 3 teachers (Mrs. W., Mrs. C. & Mrs. C) want me to wait until the SAT test scores are in before we make any decisions.

Another area of concern is Erin's vision. The last time she saw an eye doctor was 2 years ago. David took her to a very highly recommended pediatric opthomologist. This doctor was thrilled that Erin had no issues. Then again, he is a specialist so he sees children who have problems. At last year's annual doctor appt, Erin's eyes were only "ok." David is worried that Erin is dyslexic because she writes the wrong letter &/or number sometimes. It is very common for children to confuse 6/9, b/d, m/n along with some other mistakes. This is a developmental issue. However, David thinks there is a real problem.

So.

Next Saturday we have an appointment for Erin to see our eye doctor. Thankfully, Erin knows this doctor & likes him. Of course, I'm not sure how much she's going to like him when he goes to dilate her eyes. I know I don't like him very much when he does that to me. We plan on asking him to see if he can find any problems which need further exploration. If she does need glasses, I'm thankful that Erin has friends who wear glasses - not just the adults in her life. For now she thinks they're cool. Then again, there are so many styles from which to choose these days.

We've also decided that we are going to ask to have Erin retained in 3rd grade. It's been so hard on her this year. Yes. We discussed it with Erin. We talked about the people she knows who have repeated a grade & asked if she thought poorly of these people. Being who she is, she said no & looked as if she wanted to make sure we hadn't lost our minds. We told her, quite honestly, that we believe she had a very rough time in school this year & want her to have the chance to do her absolute best before going on to 4th grade which would be even harder. We emphasized that she had done nothing wrong but that this would be a good opportunity for her to strengthen her skills. Imagine our shock when Erin told us she thought this was a good idea! She isn't upset in the least. Maybe that is because somewhere, deep down, she knows she isn't ready to move on.

This coming Monday I will be calling Erin's school. I am going to set up a conference to discuss having her retained in the 3rd grade. I want to insure that she is retained but still has the same teachers. They have been utterly phenomenal to work with. I also want to speak with the ESE specialist. David & I want to get Erin tested for learning disabilities.

It's time. Maybe there is nothing wrong. But what if there is something wrong? Good G-d. Have I allowed her to go for so long without being aware? Have I really been so pigheaded that I've put her in harm's way?

Mothers Day

2011-05-08T17:31:00.001-05:00

Each year at Erin's school, the children have the opportunity to buy & decorate a cake from Publ!x. She really enjoys the whole process of decorating a cake & giving it to me. And I enjoy her joy!

After picking Erin up from school, I needed to run over to W*lmart for a few things. I asked if she wanted to tag along since I knew I'd be quick. (Of course she always forgets that to me "quick" means an hour.) While we were there, Erin decided she wanted to buy me flowers. She was so upset when she realized she didn't have any cash with her. I told her not to worry about the money, she should just pick out what she wanted. It was so darn cute watching her pick out flowers. I loved watching her decide which flowers she wanted to buy me. Turns out she picked my fave roses - yellow.

David wanted to know what I wanted for Mothers' Day. Being the simplistic person I am, I told him that I didn't want anything other than to laze around once I got home from Hebrew school.

And that is exactly what I've been doing!

Our First Easter

2011-04-29T12:34:00.000-05:00

This year, Erin & I attended our first Easter family event ever.

Jolene invited Erin & me up to her home so we could celebrate with her family. Erin & I went up Saturday afternoon to spend the night. We went to dinner & then off to Tarjay for a quick shop. Once back at Jolene's, Erin helped out by cleaning & swiffering. My girl loves to Swiffer! Relaxation was the order of the evening once we convinced Jolene to sit down. Erin watched Tangled with Jolene while I sat & read.

Sunday morning we got up & started to get the house ready. Once Jade & Emma got home, it was all we could do to keep the 3 girls calm & inside. If you can imagine, we convinced Erin & Jade to wear their dresses all day!

Jolene's family is amazing. Her parents & sister's family have taken to Erin like ducks to water. They are just so warm & welcoming. Before we all sat down to lunch, Jolene's dad (a/k/a Poppa) started with grace. I explained to Erin that their grace is different than ours so we needed to stand their quietly & say "amen" when it was over. I'm happy to say that Erin didn't fidget even once.

And then we went about our day - eating a lovely lunch, talking with each other & laughing. What a lovely day!

*** ARGH!!! Blogger isn't allowing me to post any of the pics I took!!!***

Passover Seder for 3

2011-04-20T19:37:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up, my parents hosted all of the religious holiday meals in our home. Sad to say but we had the only kosher & observant home in our family. I always loved knowing that as a family we would put together a nice holiday evening. Passover was probably my favorite holiday since my mother allowed me to start helping with the preparations when I was about 8 years old. She showed me how to make charoses, & to this day I have great memories of sitting at the kitchen table with my mother & grandmother while we all did our thing.

When David & I got married, it wasn't long after that my dad moved to California so we went to David's family for the religious holidays & my family for the secular holidays. For some reason, his family only did the Passover Seder on the first night. It's a tradition that continues to this day, & now that we have our own beautiful daughter, we decided to change things up a bit.

Erin & I went to our niece Deena's house for the first night. Seder was definitely interesting. This year, we decided that Erin needed to experience her own family Seder. I set about preparing our dinner in the hopes I wouldn't poison anyone.

I cooked the roast chicken with potatoes & onions, which by the way were totally yummilicious. I decided that Erin needed to take an active part in the process. Since I started making the charoses when I was 8 years old, I knew this would be a good time for her to start. The thing here is that I spent days looking for a new recipe. I'm highly allergic to walnuts so I needed something that wasn't the traditional Ashkenazi charoses. After looking up a few recipes, I took a little from here & a little from there.

The Seder didn't go as easily as I had hoped. However, we did have one. Hopefully next year's Seder will go better.

Seder Plate

Simple salad using heirloom tomatoes & English cucumbers from the farmers' market we went to a few days earlier.

Walnut-free charoses - not bad at all

Roast chicken

The table

Local Farmers' Market

2011-04-17T19:00:00.000-05:00

This morning Erin & I went to the local farmers' market with some of our friends. We were so looking forward to a morning in the great outdoors - sunshine, friends, fresh fruit & veggies along with other yummy treats. We couldn't ask for a better day!

I knew that we were meeting Shari & Myke with their daughter Chianna. I don't know who was looking forward to it more - Erin & Chianna or Shari & me. As we were getting ready to plan, Lori & Marc came over with Katie Starr & Ethan - better known as the DD. The day couldn't get any better as far as all of the children were concerned.

Growing up on Long Island, my parents used to take my brother & me to the Farmers Market in Bethpage. Oh, the memories! We used to go & my parents made sure that along with our purchases, we always got cannolis to enjoy while we were walking around. And you couldn't find a better pickle anywhere on The Island! The highlight of the night for me was the carousel. I can still see my mom & dad walking & talking & just enjoying themselves.

Needless to say, having these memories, I was thrilled when Shari mentioned a local farmers' market here! Of course, I should have thought better & realized that in FL, it was going to be outdoors. I'd forgotten that I adore air conditioning & went along. I'm so glad that I did.

Erin, Chianna, Katie Starr & Ethan loved walking around. They got to see a few cows, a pot-bellied pig & some dog breeds they hadn't seen before. Ethan was intent on finding some baby spinach. (If only his buddy Erin would have some interest in a green vegetable!)

There were booths with specialty oils, sauces, jams/preserves, breads, pastries, pastas & so much more! Seeing all of the vegetables & fruit that are grown locally was cool. I couldn't believe the size of the red onions!

See for yourself!

Getting ready to go shop!

Ah! Some nice cool mango juice!

Elsie looks happy

Mona the Pot-Bellied Pig

No honey is as good as when it's in the honeycomb

Birthday Party, Bowling & Pizza

2011-04-16T18:48:00.000-05:00

This month Erin's friend Samantha turns 8. Her parents Seth & Linda invited a ton of people to a bowling party! What a great idea! Of course I knew that my friends Jan & Michelle would be there with Erin's buddy Lauren. What I didn't realize was that Shari & Myke would be there with Chianna. How cool is it that the kids got introduced to a great way to spend an afternoon? Pizza & bowling? Always a good time!

Must have these to go down the lane!

Look at the cool colors! No blah blue or red for these kids!

Face Painting is a must at birthday parties these days

She always goes for a blue design. Go figure.

You have to have pizza when you go bowling!

You don't know?

2011-04-07T11:24:00.000-05:00

Searching for a job is hard. Searching for the right job is even harder.

So much has changed since I last looked for one that I feel like a fish out of water. Let's face it. I started working for First Uni*n in 1996 & never looked back. I loved what I did there. Right up until the H*lls Farg* merger.

When last I searched for a job, you asked questions about salary, benefits, hours required, job duties, etc. Now if you were just changing companies, all you really needed to ask about were the salary, the benefits & the hours. The person interviewing you asked all of the questions & was really looking to see if your answers matched your resume.

Needless to say, there have been changes in the last 15 years. Now you post your resume online & based upon key words &/or phrases, you may or may not match a job. I've gotten about 5 or 6 phone calls for sales jobs. I'm not selling insurance. It isn't who am. It isn't who I want to be.

I've also had 2 interviews in the last month. I thought both went well. Apparently not. I haven't gotten a call back letting me know either way. It's hard. I worked for the same company for 14 years & was let go because of a witch hunt. How do you explain to a prospective employer that there was a witch hunt & they were looking to get rid of people who knew too much, were paid too highly (not me!) or who didn't fit their corporate image? I've been honest about everything.

Maybe it's because the only questions I've had have been about salary & benefits. Both interviewers told me that they don't know the salary being offered. It's handled through HR. Really? Don't people who go into an interview these days want to know what they'd be making? If you are the manager of an office, why don't you know what the offered salary will be? Aren't you the one who will be reviewing my work? Recommending me for an increase?

Do you realize how silly that sounds? I mean. After all, if your job is paying below a certain $$ amount, it may not be worth the interviewee's time. One job I interviewed with was for a part-time position - 3 days a week. If the office is closed for a federal holiday, there would be no pay. Oh! And there are no benefits for a part-timer. What would entice me to work for a company that doesn't pay me for the days that I'm scheduled to work but they're closed? That means that for 10 days a year, I don't get paid. That also means that for the 3 days I do work, if something happens to me healthwise, I can't call out sick but also won't be able to go to a dr visit because you're not offering me insurance. I better be healthier than the proverbial horse everyone is always talking about!!

The other interview I went on seemed to go really well. The interviewer was friendly & informative. We seemed to hit it off well.

We'll see. I'm not holding my breath.

Birthday for a Starr!

2011-04-03T15:00:00.000-05:00

Erin & her buddy Ethan

2 Lovely Grandmas

Silly Faces

The Birthday Girl & Her Lovely Mommy

Yummy Cake!

Gotta have birthday cake!

And, finally, The Birthday Girl!

Yesterday, Erin & I went to a birthday party. Katie Starr is 6!! Watching this little girl grow up has been pure delight. From a sweet, frightened baby to a social butterfly who knows what she wants. From the innocence of being a baby to the child who gives more than she takes. That is Katie Starr!!

While Erin played with her buddies in the bounce house or in the play area, I got to sit around & chat with some wonderful friends. I took a ton of pics! Going through them after Erin & I got home allowed me to enjoy the party all over again!

It was a perfect day to celebrate a perfect Starr.

Referral Day via FaceBook

2011-04-02T07:49:00.000-05:00

So much of life is on FaceB**k these days. While FB was originally intended as a social networking outlet for college students, people of all ages have gotten hooked. I'm one of those people. It allows me to keep in touch with so many people from all different parts of my life.

In consideration of Erin's Referral Day & all of the people who took the journey with me, I posted 2 times about this special day. Rather than go through a whole long post, I thought it would be neat to document it via my status updates & the comments from my friends.

****************************

Happy Referral Day to Erin & all of our Waiting Hearts!! I can't believe it's been 8 years since I first saw my girl's sweet face for the very first time.

Michelle Platts, Shari Maxwell McConahay, Lyssette Cowart and 3 others like this.

Vivian Kotler Masson Happy Referral Day!!!

Peggy Bond Hoole I'm remembering how very exciting that day was...photo after photo of the most beautiful children ever!!! Happy 8th referral day, Erin!

Lisa Ciasca Congrats and Happy Referral Day!

Tara Penick Happy Referral Day Hersh Family! Love the feelings and memories that come flooding back :)

Shari Maxwell McConahay Happy Referral Day!

Candy Ostrow Wow, Eight Years! Congratulations. Erin is such a sweet girl. Wishing you a wonderful day!

Kristina Edgerly Schultz Happy Referral Day! I hope you enjoy your walk down memory lane. :)

Susan McCloskey and haven't those 8 years gone by quickly fellow Waiting Hearts?

Shannon Chase Przelomski Happy Referral day Tammie- I always love hearing you tell your April Fool's Day Referral story ! :)

AND

It was 8 years ago in just a few minutes that I got The Call. After waiting forever, my SW called me to tell me it was my turn. I was so angry that I yelled at her about being rude & not funny. Emily @ GWCA, thank you for calling back!

Gretchen Day Fricke, Margarita Mandoki McClain and 2 others like this.

Haydee Frost awww... I'm sure you were not the first!!! You were entitled to any outbursts possible... Congrats on that moment "anniversary"...

Stephanie Shields Ranly I had forgotten it was today! You brought back some good memories!

Gretchen Day Fricke What great memories! (and I remember you getting upset when they first called....lol!)

Angel Tallmage Maharrey Happy day!!!

Sherry Sevy What an amazing day it was.....happy referral day!

***************************************

I tried to upload Erin's referral pics, but Bl*gger isn't allowing me to do so. ARGH.

Spring Break Fun

2011-03-21T16:12:00.000-05:00

Last week was Spring Break for Erin. Luckily enough, it was also Spring Break for Jolene's girls Jade & Emma. That said, we arranged a sleepover!

Erin & I drove up Tuesday morning. We went shopping for a few things at our fave store Target. I found Erin a few pair of shorts & new cargo pants. We went out for lunch with Jolene's sister Missy to On the Border because I wanted to try a new place. Oh my! The chili relleno was yummilicious!

That night we got to celebrate Emma's 6th birthday with her Grandma & Poppa. Jolene made her spaghetti & meat sauce with my fave dessert - pink lemonade cupcakes! Of course, they're also Emma's fave too. They have to be because they're pink! I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time. Jolene's parents are really nice & oh! the stories we could tell you from that night! Let's just say "email" & "GPS."

The next day we went to The Morikami. It was the first time for both Erin & myself. Wow! That place is gorgeous! The gardens are lovely but the walk was long.

The one place we didn't get to visit was the tea house. By that time my back was gone. It was truly a lovely way to spend the day with great friends.

Erin & I left to go home later that afternoon. Right before she fell asleep in the car, Erin asked if we could go back to The Morikami to see the tea house. I guess it made an impression upon her. And as she fell asleep that same night, Erin asked if we could see an actual tea ceremony & if she could also take some pics &/or video. I told her that we would definitely look into it.

The next morning I called Jolene. We're going to find out when the next tea ceremony will be & make arrangements for me to take the girls.

Chinese New Year Pics

2011-03-17T20:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't been around in a while but we have definitely been busy. Erin & I went away for Chinese New Year with Jolene & her girls. The FL GWCA party was a big hit.

Xin Nien Kuai Le!

2011-02-04T05:48:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!! Welcome to the Year of the Rabbit!

I love celebrating the new year. I don't care if it's the Jewish new year, the Chinese new year or the American new year. It's all good & an opportunity for a fresh start.

Yesterday Erin had a great day. She was super excited to bring a bit of her Chinese culture to her classmates! Thankfully, she has an amazing set of teachers who are very encouraging. Since we were basically bringing in a social studies lesson, we did this with her writing class. Her teacher Mrs. C was all over it - joining in & encouraging the children to enjoy their time in China.

Erin wore a beautiful qipao - a dress worn mainly for formal occasions. In Guangdong province where she is from, it is actually called a cheongsam. We brought in some goodies for her class to share - lucky red envelopes with 2 chocolate coins inside, oranges for a sweet new year & chopsticks. We also brought in popcorn so the children could learn how to use the chopsticks. Of course it made the lesson messy & fun. Mrs. C is a good sport. Then again, the popcorn was her idea!

We turned the event into a pretty nice social studies lesson. The children had to answer some questions.

What hemisphere is China in?
What continent is China on?
What is the capital of China?
Where is pasta from?

We taught them a few phrases:

Gung hay fat choy! (New Year greeting in Southern China)
Xin nien kuai le! (New Year greeting for the rest of China)
xie xie (thank you)
ni hao (hello)

There are 2 boys in Erin's class who have known her since preschool. They thought this was a great thing to learn about Erin. Another of the girls has been in Erin's class since 1st grade. She told me that this was even better than last year's celebration because she got to learn some cool things.

Erin glowed throughout the whole lesson. She even enjoyed wearing her Chinese dress. I think it even excited her that upon leaving the classroom, all of her classmates thanked us but many of them said it in Chinese. I think she's decided that being Chinese really isn't so bad.

ARGH!!! Blogger isn't letting me upload the pics I took. I'll try again later!

Chinese New Year is almost here!

2011-01-29T07:59:00.000-05:00

Chinese New Year is almost here!

Personally, I really enjoy this holiday. All of our friends who have Asian children join together to celebrate. It's a time to celebrate Erin's birth culture & show her that China & her birth culture are important to us.

Erin's teacher Mrs. C takes on both writing & social studies with a vengeance. She loves Erin & is very encouraging. A few weeks ago, I asked Erin if she'd like to bring stuff in to celebrate Chinese New Year. Once she said yes, I approached Mrs. C who thought it was an awesome idea. That said, today we are off to the Oriental Market to make our purchases! We'll be sending in clementines & red lucky envelopes that will be filled with some candy & a few coins. I'm hoping that Mrs. C will allow me to stay for this part of the day.

I am also busy with helping my friend Susan prepare for our annual CNY (Chinese New Year) celebration that we put on for the people who used the same adoption agency we did. The FL GWCA group is very active & does an amazing job. We have a great group who helps to put on a great party! Marc from Party Nation manages to get a group of stodgy ole mommies & daddies up on the floor to dance. Heck! He even got Susan to do the Chicken Dance one year! Lori from Starr Moments Photography takes the most beautiful pics of the event. Jolene will be selling outfits from Fly Away Clothing & donating some goodies from her own business Ladybug Cake Creations.

The most amazing thing that this group of people does is fundraising. Each year we hold a silent auction. We get people to donate various items from clothing to scrapbook goodies to photography sessions to handmade items to artwork. This year, it was decided that in honor of our friends' daughter Katie Starr, the donations would be presented to the Foundation Fighting Blindness. I can't wait to see how much $$ we raise for this oh so worthy cause!

And let's not forget our local chapter of the FCC. We're planning a nice evening down at the newest location of Miss Yip's Chinese Cafe. For years we went to their location down on Miami Beach but it was decided that we would try their new location. Don't ask me where it is. I'm lucky I can get home from Erin's school!

So, yes, January & February are very busy but it's all for a great time!

Current Events

2011-01-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

Each week Erin has a current events assignment. We go to a great website d*g*news.c*m to look for the article. Usually David &/or I choose the article for the assignment. Erin recently decided that she wants to choose the article herself.

This past week we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day. They spoke about this great man in school & something about him spoke to Erin. While looking around the website for this week's current events, she came up with an article. Attached was this video.

As I watched this video with Erin I cried. Yea, I know. Big shock. This speech took place when I was a baby. It still rings true in 2011.

I have a dream also. It's the same one the Martin Luther King Jr. held for his 4 little children.

Sloppy Joes

2011-01-12T20:18:00.000-05:00

Erin loves the show G**d Luck Charlie on D!sney. There was an episode where the mother made sloppy joes & the family had a food fight. Ever since seeing it, Erin has been begging for sloppy joes.

Tonight I gave in. Dinner was sloppy joes with French Fries. She was so happy to have this dinner. Of course, her idea of eating was to take 2 bites & say "I'm full. Can I have ice cream?" This was a big thing. Erin has only recently come to terms with the fact that red meat is supposed to be eaten & not stared at in our house. We got her to eat a few more bites & allowed her to have her ice cream.

I know I probably shouldn't have given in on the ice cream, but we were so proud of her for trying something new. I couldn't resist rewarding her. Besides, the smile on her face when she came to the table was reward enough. The kid was getting ice cream no matter what.

What can I say? I'm wrapped. Right around her cute little pinkie.

Hua Yu Yue & First Yulin SWI

2011-01-06T22:41:00.001-05:00

Many people have adopted from China. The IA community is amazing. People who wouldn't normally know each other, form lifelong relationships. Some of us have never met in person.

One of the people I know through IA is my friend Sandra - a fellow February Waiting Heart. If you've read my blog, then you know that we waited for our daughters together. We've never met although we look forward to enjoying a nice cup of Starbucks one day whle our girls hang out.

Anyway, one of her Dutch friends adopted a little girl within the last year. She is looking for an American family who adopted a girl named Hua YuYue from First Yulin SWI in Guangxi on June 28th of 2010.

If you know of the family who adopted Hua Yu Yue, please get in touch with me.

Thanks!

The California Tooth Fairy Loves Me!!

2011-01-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

On New Year's Day, Erin lost her 5th tooth. Thanks to my friend Michelle, The C*ral Springs Tooth Fairy remembered to pay a visit. In our neck of the woods, the Tooth Fairy pays $5 for the first tooth & $2 for each of the following teeth.

Saturday night before going to bed, I had Erin make her public announcement so the Tooth Fairy would know to stop by. She was so darn cute! Picture this: A cute kid in her jammies stands up in the center of my bed & starts screaming:

"Oh Tooth Fairy! I lost a tooth today! Please don't forget to stop by & pick it up."

I almost peed myself silly! (The things we do to/for our kids.)

A few minutes later, Erin decided to check & see if she got her payoff yet. I tried to stop her but lost the battle. From her bedroom I heard her scream - again. "Mama! The Tooth Fairy left me 2!" Being the devil that I am, I asked her "2 what Erin?" After putting away her $2 in her Tooth Fairy bank, she checked my little box where the Tooth Fairy leaves her teeth behind for me. It was so funny when Erin turned to me to let me know that the Tooth Fairy remembered I like to keep all her teeth.

I thought all was done. Ha!

Last night, after finishing her homework assignment, Erin asked me if she could all her Bubbie & Zaydie (grandparents) so she could tell them about her lost tooth. I wondered out loud (here's the devil in me again) why they would want to know. 'Mama! They have to tell the California Tooth Fairy!"

I let Erin call them & was surprised to find that she called Bubbie's cell phone. I thought Nancy (my stepmother) was going to laugh forever. Actually, Nancy adores Erin & was so excited about getting the call. After telling her Bubbie about loosing the tooth, Erin handed me the phone so I could chat also. During my conversation with Nancy, I mentioned that the California Tooth Fairy doesn't have to do anything. To which my daughter screamed:

"But the California Tooth Fairy loves me!!"

Nancy heard Erin & we both started to laugh hysterically. It was such a moment. Then Bubbie got off the phone to call the California Tooth Fairy (a/k/a Zaydie) & prepare him. When my dad Skyped us, he told Erin he would let the Tooth Fairy know, & he was sure that Erin could expect something in the mail soon.

Yes Erin. The California Tooth Fairy does love you! Very much!

December 2010 Recap & UGH!!

2011-01-03T21:20:00.000-05:00

A new year has started, & thank G-d!! 2010 was awful.

David's pain got worse with each passing day. As hard as it was for me to see, having Erin watch it was so much worse. I was so worried about David that there were times I forgot that Erin is only 8 & expected way too much from her. There are no words to express how sorry I am that she got left in the wind with this.

David had 2 surgeries in December 2010. The purpose was to have a spinal cord stimulator implanted in his spine. The first surgery was a trial, & we weren't sure it worked until just about the end of the 7 days. He was impressed enough that he decided to go for it permanently. We were told all about how easy it would be. Ha! In fact - Double Ha! For a surgery that was supposed to be outpatient with only a 23 hour observation period, it turned out to be a horror. David ended up being in ICU for 2 days before being placed in a regular room. Thankfully, he was in the regular room & got discharged that same day.

Recovery hasn't been easy. The whole thing has been a total mess!! Tomorrow the implant will be turned on. I pray that it starts to help soon.

With all that going on, we barely noticed Chanukah. In fact, the entire holiday season passed in a total blur. We did manage to prepare Erin's gifts. David & I wanted to make sure Erin had some feeling of the holidays. I'd say her gifts were a hit!

We're looking forward to a different year. 2011 has GOT to be better. I mean, could it get worse? Please don't tell me that I just jinxed myself. Please.

Pics to Tide You Over

2010-12-08T23:03:00.000-05:00

Erin's 8th birthday - celebrating at camp

Summer days just hanging with buddies - Emma, Erin & Jade

First day of 3rd grade!

Going to Aunt Mindy & Uncle Jacob's house for Rosh Hashanah lunch

Halloween!!

Hanging out at Jade & Emma's house on a sunny day

Remember the child who wouldn't go near water? Can't get her out now. Yay!

Getting ready for Chanukah

Coming out of the woodwork

2010-12-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

Or at least I'm thinking about it.

So much has gone on since last I wrote anything. Life has changed & not for the better, but the whole point of this blog is for Erin to read when she's old enough.

In July Erin turned 8. She has continued to amaze us each day. We spent the summer letting her go to camp with her buddies but didn't & attend many karate classes. Let's face it. After a day of field trips & swimming, who would want to go to a karate class willingly.

School started at the end of August, & she started 3rd grade. It has not been easy for her this year. As much as I liked her teachers from 1st & 2nd grades, they did nothing to prepare her for life in 3rd grade. Yes. I complained last year but they just poo poo'd me to death. Now Erin is paying the price. She's had to work really hard to keep up with her class. She's doing it but each step is a struggle. Thankfully, her teachers this year agree with me about her capabilities. They are pushing her but in a positive way.

David's health took a turn for the worse this summer. We found out that everything he was doing for his diabetes was wrong. He misunderstood the doctor, & the doctor had no clue because David told him everything was fine. Until I stepped in that is. He took a month off from work which didn't go over well with his boss but the diabetes was put back in its place. Too bad diabetic neuropathy has become our own personal hell. (More on that another time.)

Thank G-d for friends. Without some very special women in my life, I wouldn't have made it even to this point & kept even an ounce of sanity.

Now let's see if I can continue blogging.

Thoughts

2010-07-12T22:10:00.000-05:00

Adoptive parents have many different ways of handling their childrens' situations. Many families talk about adoption, abandonment & such very openly. There are also families who don't talk about these issues. Some families talk about birthparents while others don't. It's a choice. A very personal choice that each family has to make given their own circumstances. Some children have a need to talk about these things while other children don't have that same need.

We have been very open with Erin about her adoption. She knows that she is adopted & comes from China. (Believe it or not, there are parents who haven't told their child(ren) they are adopted.) David & I make sure to tell her all the time how happy we are that we all adopted each other. Over the years Erin has refused to admit that she is actually Chinese & wants nothing to do with her birth country &/or culture. The day that we received Erin, she immediately rejected anything Chinese to the point of tantrums. In the last year, this has gotten easier on all of us. Since she was granted citizenship (May 2009), Erin has started to come around.

The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend who mentioned that it was time for "the talk" with one of her children. That conversation had me laughing so hard! I decided to ask Erin if she knew where babies come from. She told me that some babies come from their mommies tummies. I asked where the rest of the babies came from & she told me "Orphanages." Yikes! I think the whole thing is that it comes down to a child's life experience. I let the topic drop because Erin started to get all embarrassed. When she's embarrassed, all Erin wants to do it hide. I figure I can let it rest for a few more weeks.

I'm pretty sure that Erin will understand when we have that talk that she has a birth family. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she knows it already. Viv's daughter Kerri has talked about these things pretty openly in front of Erin on some of their visits down here. She just hasn't come to terms with the whole thing, but that's okay.

Me? I don't think of Erin's birth family often. We'll never know the true reason that Erin was abandoned. I refuse to dwell upon it & get all depressed. However, there are days that I do think of a certain lady in Southern China. I hope & pray that somehow she knows her sweet baby is alright. I thank her for leaving Erin in a safe & public place to be found. I also think of the birth father. Most of the time, people tend to forget that there is a man involved in this situation. We tend to concentrate on the birthmother & how she did or didn't feel upon having to abandon her baby. How many birthfathers out there had a choice? How many of them actually wanted to abandon their baby after watching it grow in the mother's womb for 9 months? So, yes, I think of him too.

One day Erin will start to have questions about her birthparents. David & I have decided not to sugarcoat her story. We will be honest. "We don't know Erin." That's the answer we have to give her. And it sucks, but honesty is the best we can do for her.

Oops!

2010-07-04T09:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Erin & I went to a birthday party for Ethan. She was so psyched that I actually got her to wear the swimsuit of my choice. (Of course it helped that Chianna loves monkeys & was supposed to be there.) She had a total blast helping him celebrate turning 5! It was a pool party so I was worried.

Erin's never had a professional swim lesson in her life. Anyone who knows Erin, knows that she had a horrible time with water for the first 5-6 years of life. Well, my girl shocked me for sure. When we went to Texas a few years ago for our travel group reunion, Erin wanted to go into the pool so badly that she begged me. After Amy gave her a few impromptu lessons, I allowed her in the pool. It was a big step for us.

Fast forward to yesterday. Everyone helped out by keeping an eye on Erin. Any time I went to look at her, she stopped what she was doing so I followed my instincts & walked away. A while later, Candy & Grace came to let me know that Erin was swimming & doing a really good job of it too. I went to peek at her & all of a sudden she wanted to show me so I watched (with my heart in my throat) & WOW!! The girl can swim! Well! I could barely get Erin out of the pool to eat lunch & she sure didn't want to leave to go home.

Once we got home, Erin ran out to play with our neighbor's children. They live next door & are awfully sweet boys who also go to the same camp as Erin. I'd have thought she'd be tired from all that pool time. Nope. She didn't even want to come in for dinner!

Needless to say Erin was massively overtired & refused to go to bed. At 10:00 David & I put our collective feet down & forced the issue. Not 10 minutes later she came out because July 4th celebrations came early in our neighborhood. Fireworks going off means loud noises. Loud noises means Erin doesn't go to sleep alone. Yup. I had to go to bed too.

And that's where the "Oops!" comes in. Erin loves to cuddle at night & got right up to me. She put her ice cold hands on my back, & I jumped. Poor baby! I accidentally hit her square in the face. That tooth that was semi-loose was now bleeding & hanging by a thread. Oh yea. Way to go Tammie. Erin cried. I cried. David stood there trying to get us to stop crying & reminded us that it was an accident.

This morning Erin came in to show me what the tooth looked like dangling. Yuck! I hate wiggle teeth! She left the room & came back seconds later. The tooth was in a napkin. Now the kid is really toothless!

Karate Kid Demo Weekend

2010-06-16T01:08:00.000-05:00

It was a Karate Kid Demo weekend!

The karate school had made arrangements with a local movie theater to do demos throughout this past weekend. Along with the demo team, Sifu made arrangements for other students - children & adults, to join in. Our children don't just learn karate with each other, they have also developed friendships. The adults are also very friendly. The school really is a place for people to support each other.

Sifu spent just about the entire weekend at the movie theater. The students & parent supporters were there for more than just the demo. We hung out for almost the whole day. In fact, Saturday a bunch of us went for lunch at the Thai/Japanese restaurant next to the theater.

I took almost 400 pictures from Friday night & Saturday. Can you imagine how many more I'd have taken if I were able to be there Sunday? (Unfortunately, I woke up sick as a dog Sunday morning.) I was able to allow Erin to attend because her hero Brittany agreed to watch over her. That is one teen who I don't want to meet in a lit alley let alone a dark alley!

Erin & her hero Brittany

And how cool is it that a few of our friends were able to pop in! Thanks Minouche, Delfim & Yasmin! Erin was thrilled to see you guys!

Erin on TV!!

2010-06-16T00:44:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday, June 9th was a great day for Erin. Not only was it the last day of school, but she was also on tv. Her karate school was doing demos this past weekend at a local movie theater for the opening of The Karate Kid.

We had to be at the school by 6:25 in the morning. I needed coffee! I still don't know how it got made! Waking Erin up wasn't easy. You've heard it before "5 more minutes. Please." I gave her too much time because I needed to put my makeup on. Sifu had mentioned that the news reporter might interview a few parents. There wasn't a woman there without a full face on.

As soon as we walked in, Erin was directed to her spot in the back. I was so disappointed because being as tiny as she is, there was no way anyone would see her. It worked out fine. There were a few segments being done as teasers for the upcoming movie. Sifu ended up moving Erin to the front for the 2nd segment. She had chosen Erin to be one of 4 children spotlighted for board breaking - something she loves to do. In fact when they did a quick run through, Erin was so excited that she didn't wait for the complete instructions & just broke the boards. She showed a bit more patience when they did the actual broadcast.

The cameraman must have liked something about Erin because he followed her around for a good part of the demo. I asked Sifu later on if she had any input on this. She told me that she wasn't allowed to make suggestions beyond the board breaking. Wow!

We got to the school at 6:30 and stayed until they ended the segment teasers. There were a lot of students - mostly younger children and a few adults. Of course there were many parents who came to watch their children and support the school. It was a great morning!

One of the families TIVOd the show & made up CDs for us. We viewed the segments but I can't wait to upload the video so our family & friends can also view it.

2nd Grade Ends

2010-06-12T07:16:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The end of 2nd grade. Oh my!

The time has gone by so fast. It was only yesterday that I got The Call. Then we were blessed to have a sweet 10 month old baby given to us forevermore. The day came when she started preschool, & I cried as I left her with strangers for the very first time. Those same strangers who helped give Erin the skills to enter school & start her life. I remember her fear (and mine too!) starting over at her new school as a first grader. And I remember how she just marched in on the first day of 2nd grade as if she owned the school. Her principal, the amazing & wonderful Mr. Sawyer smiled at her & gave her his usual "Good morning Mini Me!" The same greeting he has always given her.

And now the end has come. Mr. Sawyer has left our school. And Erin is no longer a 2nd grader. She is going into 3rd grade at the end of summer vacation. I really love the school we've chosen for Erin. ICSAB is a great place for us.

Not working since April has been a good thing for my health. Even more so it's been great for Erin. Just think of it. Had I still been working, I wouldn't have captured these pics.

A Big Step

2010-06-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

Monday night while Erin & I were snuggling in for the evening, Erin asked me a question that knocked my socks off. After years of insisting her adoption journey pictures remain private, she asked if she could take her photo album to school so she could share them with her teacher & classmates. Even David was shocked.

Tuesday morning before we left for school, Erin went to get her photo album & carried it to the car. I decided that rather than allow Erin to do this on her own, I would go in to the class with her. This way if there were questions that she didn't have the answers to, I could help. What a great idea. While Erin wanted to share the pics, she was shy about telling her story. As soon as the children sat down, Erin got shy & hid behind me. She asked me to help tell the story & show her pics. And so it began . . .

I started out by asking if anyone noticed that Erin & I don't look alike. Lots of laughter. Then I mentioned that Erin doesn't look like her daddy either. This I told the students was because Erin is adopted & comes from China. I asked the children if they knew the meaning of the word adopted. Some of the children raised their hands. The answers were interesting: "When a person has a baby but doesn't want it, they give it away." or "When a person has a baby but can't take care of it, they give it away." Pretty hard to hear but pretty close to the truth. I explained that Erin is from China where they have a one child policy & that some people don't necessarily have the ability to keep the baby or may not want the baby. I also made sure to tell them that we don't know the exact reason that the birth mother gives up a child.

We showed them many of Erin's pictures. Face it we have about 300 from 2 weeks & some are too private to share. Erin allowed me to show pictures from the orphanage & she explained herself that not all of the children were adopted at the same time.

I showed the room where families wait until the babies arrive. They got to see pics of the first time I held Erin & that David held Erin. We showed them our first family photo. And then it happened. One of the boys asked if Erin was adopted legally. Holy cow! How & why does a 7 year old know about illegal adoptions!? Thankfully the next pictures were of me signing the paperwork accepting responsibility for Erin & of the adoption being completed LEGALLY in China. I turned to Erin & very clearly explained that all of this paperwork made it so that she was our daughter forever & no one could take her from us. The children were thrilled to know it also.

To make it all a little lighter in tone & atmosphere, I showed them pics we took at the Chen Family Temple (I think that's what it's called.) & the artwork in the lobby of the White Swan hotel. The students & teacher were amazed by the beauty of it all. The next set of pictures I showed were of the rooms we went to for the baby's physicals. The scale & eye chart amazed everyone - especially since here in the US our eye chart is a big E & in China it was a hand facing in different directions. The children asked if Erin & the other babies understood what was happening. It was almost like those dumb questions people ask "So did she use chopsticks? Did she speak Chinese?" The difference is that the children were truly trying to understand so I asked them if their younger siblings spoke or understood everything. It was so easy for them to get that concept.

They got to see pics of the birthday party a few of us threw for one of the babies (Ashley G.) because she turned 1 while we were in China. They were amazed that the birthday cake didn't have some cartoon character & wasn't all sweet & gooey like they are here in the US.

Finally we showed them the Red Couch photos. Erin very proudly pointed out where both she & her friend Julianna were. The kids loved it! Her teacher was blown away by how Erin handled everything because she remembered that last year Erin wouldn't even mention Chinese New Year.

I ended by thanking the children & their teacher. I explained that they must all be very special since Erin has never shared these things with anyone outside the family & her China group.

That night in karate when all of the parents were asked if there were any yellow striped to be awared, I raised my hand. (The yellow stripes are awarded by parents when a child does something extraordinary.) When asked why Erin should be given a stripe, I explained to Sifu Helana that karate has given Erin, among other things, confidence in herself. I awarded her the yellow stripe for confidence & having the strength to share her pictures & story for the first time.

No. I didn't take any pictures at school. I was worried that it might turn out negatively for Erin & wanted to concentrate on her needs.

Erin, your mama & dad are so proud of you & we are honored to be your parents. Forever.

A Great Way to Start a Long Weekend

2010-05-31T12:01:00.000-05:00

First arrange to have a lunch date with your BFF at Ruby Tuesday. Oh! Don't forget to shock your mother by eating this for the first time ever!

Second, go on a shopping spree to The Children's Place so you can have matching headbands.

And last, go to karate with your BFF for a great lesson!

We had a great day with Lauren & her mom Michele. It was a wonderful way to start a long weekend!

Nutella Girl

2010-05-20T08:15:00.000-05:00

She's a picky eater to say the least. Last year when I was trying to figure out what I should send for lunch, my friend Sandra suggested Nutella. Great idea! Erin loves Nutella.

Yesterday morning, she made herself breakfast.

I Don't Know

2010-05-12T21:18:00.000-05:00

And I hate it!

Now is the time for questions I guess. I only wish that I had an answer other than "I don't know."

Erin & I talk a lot in the car. It's a great place for us to talk about anything. Generally I'll ask some open ended questions & get simple answers from her.

On the way to Hebrew school the other day, Erin asked me if she was born in the morning or at night. It seems like such a simple question. Doesn't it? But I don't know. I am really starting to hate that sentence.

I was honest with Erin & gave her the only answer I had. She answered with "I think I was born at night." I told her that was okay. Then she said "I changed my mind. Actually, I was born in the morning." Okay sweetie.

Too bad I don't know.

They Talk Too Much

2010-04-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

Lately I've had a hard time getting Erin to wake up for school on Sundays. I feel for her. I really do. The kid goes to school for her public education Monday through Friday. Then she has to wake up on Sundays also for her formal religious instruction. To make it even harder for her, we need to leave the house no later than 7:45 so that I can be early & set up my own classroom. This wasn't a problem until the last few months.

She actually started by telling David yesterday that she didn't want to go to Hebrew school today. Whenever we ask her why, she answers "Because." Shocking! I know. And this morning was a humdinger let me tell you. David came to help me out this morning because my frustration level was pretty high. We got her dressed, fed & in my car ready to go.

Once we walk into the synagogue, Erin becomes a different child. She owns the place, & she knows it. I've been teaching there for the last 20 years so almost everyone there has been aware of her adoption. Everyone stops to say hi to her, & she offers to help each person with setting up their classroom. This morning she only wanted to follow me around. No problem. I love it.

On the way home from Hebrew school, Erin mentioned that she didn't like sitting with the girls because they talk so much. I suggested she instead sit with the boys but she informed me that they talk too much also. Having had most of this class last year, I know she's telling the truth. I reminded Erin that when she goes to school during the week, she is also a chatterbox so I wanted to know what the big deal was.

Erin promptly tells me that she is in Hebrew school to learn about being Jewish. (Makes a mother proud!) I told her that this news made me very happy & would also make her daddy extremely happy. I told her that since she wasn't born Jewish & was converted when she came home, it made me feel good knowing that she loves learning about Judaism.

She thought it over for a moment & then asked the question. "Mama does that mean I was born a Christian?"

Okay. Interesting take on my comment & one I was totally unprepared for. However, being the fast thinker that I tend to be I gave her an answer. Which answer? The honest one.

I don't really know Erin. There are many people in China. Some people are Jewish as in Kaifeng or Shanghai. Some people are Christian. Some people are Buddhist. I did mention that there are also people who don't worship G-d at all because that is how they are raised.

It seemed to be enough for Erin today.

Me? I wonder what question will be next & when she will ask it. I do know one thing though. I'll answer honestly. Too bad "I don't know." will be the answer to many of her questions.

Life Changes All the Time

2010-04-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes not so much. Either way, there's always stress of some kind.

Last Monday I was let go from my job after 14 years. I hadn't been happy at my job since I was transferred in January. Apparently I was unhappy enough to make some decisions "they" weren't happy about. Oh well. I still stand by my decision, & when I lay my head down each night, it is without guilt.

I got so upset about things that I agreed to go back on all of my meds to help with the stress. I couldn't think straight & was crying all the time. I was constantly angry at the world. Life at home was affected which meant I was unable to be the wife & mother that I want to be. My behavior directly affects David & Erin. I was tired of it.

Instead, I have made the very conscious decision to be fine. I'm not going to allow their foolish decision to direct my life. I'm still a little lost. After all, I've been working at one thing or another since I was old enough to babysit. Last Thursday after I dropped Erin at school, I was driving back home & called David. I asked him "So now what do I do?" Being the supportive guy that he is, he told me to go home, relax & start scrapbooking. As far as he is concerned, I should take a break. My friends seem to agree.

Each day I'm trying to do some chores around the house - things that I've wanted to accomplish but have been too busy working. Laundry is the bane of my existence. I truly despise doing it, but as of right now, I have to fold the towels & I'm done for tonight. Of course, it will start up again tomorrow, but 90% of it is done.

I'll start looking for another job in earnest next week. But for now, I'm fine.

Looking Back Looking Forward

2010-04-03T06:24:00.000-05:00

I should have blogged on April 1st. Bad momma! Well, it's been a hard week, & I'm still waiting for answers that won't happen until some time this coming week. I hope the answers are positive. Either way . . .

Looking Back:

April 1, 2003 THE CALL finally came! Each year I think about it & laugh at the wonder of the day. This day is my parents' wedding anniversary. Since my mom passed away in 1985 I avoided the day. I stopped playing April Fools jokes, was never in a good mood, etc. I went to work all depressed. We were still waiting for our call from Great Wall China Adoption. It had been a really long time since our DTC (dossier to China) on February 28, 2002 & the wait was endless & horrible. The day before, people in our Waiting Hearts group had started to get their referrals. Why hadn't we received our call? Oh! The frustration!

2:44 pm my cell phone rang. It never rang while I was at work! I answered it & heard "Tammie, it's your turn." I got so ticked off & yelled at the person. "This is NOT funny!" & hung up.

2:45 pm my cell phone rang again. The voice said "Wait Tammie! It's Emily from Great Wall. This really is your call. Get a pen & paper." And my life changed forever. All the hard work. All the paper chasing (done totally backwards mind you). All the waiting. DONE.

We found out who our daughter was:

Chun Hua Xu born on July 30. 2002. On Jan 21, 2003 she weighed 14.3 pounds & was 24 inches long She was living in the Yangchun Social Welfare Institute in Guangdong province. We would be traveling on or about June 3rd to finally meet our daughter.

Looking Forward:

Today Erin is 7 years old. This is the first year that she is really aware of what Referral Day, Gotcha Day & Forever Family Day means. Later in the afternoon, Erin asked me. "Is this the time momma when you knew who I was?" David & I spoke with Erin about how everyone was told about her. We called Zaydie & Bubbie to tell them & had them open the email so they could see her picture. Grandma & Grandpa weren't so great with email so we drove up to their house to show them her picture on email. The aunts & uncles were all called. And I cried. This year, Erin understands it all.

We have been blessed by G-d above each & every day with this beautiful child.

Shining Light on the Horizon

2010-03-28T14:53:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure why but I truly do feel a light shining down on the horizon. I just got off the phone with Viv who is trying her darndest to kick some sense into me.

This past week has been awful. Things are coming to a head finally. Maybe that's what I need to have happen.

Last Sunday was the school's model Seder. We combined the kindergarten, 1st & 2nd grades for Seder. It didn't go well. Then again, I didnt expect it to go well. (Anyone ever heard of the Pygmalion Effect?) We are 5 teachers who don't do things the same way. There was no time to practice &/or prepare. My class never got to do their project. I felt like it was total chaos. After it was over, parents came over to tell us that it was a nice day. Go figure. They ignored what we were trying to do. Their children were ignored in favor of chatting. But they had a good time. Okay.

The stress at the bank is ridiculous. I've finally come to terms with my new manager & our different ways of doing things, & now there's a different kind of stress. It never ends. Most of it is my fault because I'm so set in my ways. The good news is that I can learn from my mistakes & move on.

I've never been very confident in myself. I get stuck in a rut & don't know how to get out. I got into my industry 22 years ago by accident & haven't figured out what I know how to do. Sounds strange. I've got loyal clients & co-workers who believe in me. So why can't I believe in myself? I'm amazingly organized. I give 110% of myself at any job so I get upset when I don't do as well as I should. I like to help people & believe in doing things the right way or not at all.

There are problems but I need to get off my duff & work them out in my own mind. One of the things I've done to start is to get back on my meds. The panic & depression will take a hold & not let go if I don't stay on track with them.

I hereby refuse to give in.

No Time

2010-03-13T04:40:00.000-05:00

I have no time anymore. And it's really driving me nuts. In a nutshell, life is crazy & I'm not happy. I have to figure out what I really want & am having a tough time doing that. There are some good things going on but I'm wallowing in the negative right now. I know there's a way out, but haven't found it just yet.

There have been some great things:

Celebrating Chinese New Year with friends. Erin & I went to Orlando for Chinese New Year weekend with Jolene & her girls Jade & Emma. This was the celebration that FL GWCA puts on. I felt so badly that I wasn't able to help Susan as much as I normally do. Right after we got home, we celebrated with our FCC-SFL family & friends. It was a great night.
Erin got asked to join the karate school's demo team. She's the youngest one on the team. Her hero Brittany has told me that she didn't expect Erin to catch on quite as quickly as she did.
David's new meds while not perfect are working. We should find our way out of the poorhouse within this year. I love that we're not spending an extra paycheck each month on meds alone! Of course I'm glad we had the equity line on the house so I was able to pay for those meds. Now I have to pay that off.
Erin decided she didn't want to wait for David to teach her to ride without training wheels. She asked him to take them off one day & taught herself! We're so proud of her for taking the initiative. Of course, she's taken a few spills but that's to be expected.

But most of what I'm feeling isn't good:

David's meds that are working, aren't working 100%. He's still in pain & pretty sensitive to weather changes. I hate seeing him like this.
Erin has been going through stuff that makes her throw temper tantrums the like of which we've never before seen from her. It's been 2 weeks of yelling, screaming & crying. OTOH, we had a really good night a few nights ago where I was able to get some of it out of her. She's feeling better about things but is still fighting the emotional crap. I'm glad that she's telling me what's happening in her life but hate that she still doesn't know how to articulate it all the time or is worried that we'll be angry about what she has to say.
I'm not happy at work. This is probably the biggest thing for me. For all the time that we spend at work, we really should be happy where we work. My new manager is nice but I don't agree with things she's doing. I know I'm stubborn & used to getting things my way, but I"m a dedicated, loyal employee who gives back quite a bit. When I was transferred to the new office, I wasn't concerned about the staff since I knew many of them & had always gotten on well with them. My concern was the lack of a manager but I had been told that a new manager had been hired & she's all about helping people in the office succeed. I'm not convinced. Continually asking me what she can do to help is not doing anything. I'm a VERY territorial person. I declined a job on the roving/floating team when it was offered to me because I know that I need a place to call home. I like to work at my desk with my things & know that my customers can always find me. This is being changed. Now we don't have permanent desks because we should be able to work anywhere. Fine. BUT my direct line rings at my desk. My personal belongings are at my desk. I have a way of working that is extremely organized & can't work at the desk of slobs & the others in my office are slobs. Maybe throwing things in a drawer works for them, but I can't work that way.
Working 6-7 days a week is killing me. Sept through May I teach Sunday school. While there are days off for the various holidays, I'm still working more than I'm home. David & I have talked it over. I have to stop teaching after this year is over. I can't take it anymore. I'm always tired. My house is falling apart because I'm too tired to clean up after everyone. Erin is probably throwing some of these tantrums because I'm not home as much as I used to be. The killer thing here is that I'm going to end up with a pay cut over this. Without teaching, I'll lose an extra $3k a year. And the bank is certainly not going to reimburse me for this.
My back has gotten so bad that getting out of bed hurts more than it should. I'm in constant pain & have no time to go to a doctor.
The prongs on my mom's engagement ring have broken off. I have no time to take it to a jeweler to get it fixed.
I started wearing a jade ring on the same finger as my mom's ring so I could still have the feeling of a ring. It feels really wierd without something on that finger. It broke yesterday.
Star has been having health issues. A few weeks ago we had her at the vet AGAIN. We thought for sure we were going to lose her after a very severe seizure. The vet was wonderful. We found out that she had a bad urinary tract infection which required antibiotics. She also has very bad arthritis in her hips so she's on pain killers. We tried giving her glucosamine chewables so she could start to feel better. Have you ever seen a dog spit something out of their mouth? We have. She won't eat these pills.

So I'm feeling pretty depressed. I recognize the signs & know this isn't a good place for me to be. All I want to do lately is cry, but I don't want to scare Erin so instead I hold it in. I've been on FB when I'm home. It helps having something to do since I can't do too much from the constant pain. OTOH, I'd love to give it all up so I could feel better again & go back to having a life with my family.

I just have to figure out how to do this.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!!!

2010-02-14T06:50:00.000-05:00

Wishing everyone a very Happy Chinese New Year!!

As we welcome in theYear of the Tiger, I wish you love, joy, health & prosperity!!

Friends & A Day at the Park

2010-01-27T06:52:00.001-05:00

After last year's Chinese New Year celebration put on by the FL office of GWCA, Jolene & I have developed a really nice friendship. We speak constantly & really get each other.

Even better is that our girls have become fast friends. At the ripe old age of 7, Jade & Erin are just about the oldest girls in our local FCC chapter. Up until this past year, they had always acknowledged each other but now they can't wait to have a playdate. Jade's sister Emma has no problem keeping up with them!

Back in December, Jolene & I arranged to have breakfast together & go to a park afterwards. It's so nice to see the girls playing together. What I really like is that Erin has a friend who is in the same situation she is in - both Chinese, both adopted by non-Chinese parents. Erin has a lot of friends like this up to and including her adored godsister. However, having someone her own age is really nice because as they grow older, their commonalites will hopefully get them through the tough times that their parents know are coming.

Jolene

Erin, Jade & Emma

Making sure that they include Emma.

Let the giggles begin!

Just what is so funny girls!?

Fast friends!

Demo Team & Mouthpieces

2010-01-26T21:54:00.001-05:00

This past Saturday Erin was invited to join the demo team by the captain of the karate school demo team. Brittany has known Erin since she was 3 years old because she goes to the same synagogue that Erin went to for preschool. Brittany is a black belt in karate (I don't remember how many levels though.) & has been one of the student instsuctors at the school.

Back in November Erin participated in a demo for our FCC group. As the captain of the team, Brittany got to do a good portion of the demo with her. The girls work together beautifully. David & I have been told that Erin reminds the Sifus of Brittany at that age. Brittany really seems taken with Erin which is lovely because Erin truly looks up to her.

So now Erin has to be at the karate school every Saturday at 9:00 am. This is on top of the 2 classes she takes on Saturday & the 3 she takes during the week.

So what do mouthpieces have to do with any of this? Well, now that Erin has become a blue belt in karate, she gets to start sparring. This will teach her how to put everything together - all of the kicks, punches & such are going to come together. However, in order to spar, students need to wear protective gear. This is really funny though.

We paid for Erin's gear bag when she became a purple belt thinking we may as well lay out the money & be prepared. That worked well. Not. Everything in Erin's gear bag is the absolute smallest size they were able to order. The shin guards are longer than her legs. The head protection covers her face so you can see 1 eye. The boxing gloves & focus mits she'll have to grow into for a better fit.

The mouthpiece? David cut it down pretty small, put it into boiling water & tried to get it to fit. No dice. Well no mouthpiece, no sparring. I approached one of the instructors since Sifu was leading the class. Mrs. C is an old childhood friend of David's so I was comfortable asking her what we could do. She reminded me that a certain family member is a dentist who would probably love to help his niece. Gee. I hadn't thought of that. Duh!

When we got home, I spoke with David about it. He called his sister who told us that Erin had an appointment for this afternoon so Uncle Steven could help out. I can't have any impressions made of my mouth due to a horrible gag reflex so I was worried all day long.

David called me when it was over to let me know that Uncle Steven charmed the pants off of his niece. Again. They were able to get a great impression & allowed Erin to choose what color her mouthpiece would be. So some time next week, David & Erin will be picking up her rainbow, personalized mouthpiece! Too cool!

All in all, it's good. Erin has found a wonderful mentor in Brittany. And she's been charmed by her Uncle Steven who noticed that she has 2 more loose teeth!

What a guy!

2010-01-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

Last night was my turn to deal with the awful stomach virus that's going around at work. After a perfectly relaxing evening of sushi & hanging with David & watching some of my Buffy dvd collection, I went to sleep. And at midnight, I woke up to lose my stomach. Erin was great running to go get David. As scared as she was, she really helped. David really isn't into the whole hanging around & holding hair back while you lose your stomach.

Once it was over, I was weak but desperately needed a shower. He hung around to make sure I was alright. When I was done, I could barely stand let alone comb my hair. As I sat there crying because I felt awful & too weak to lift my arm, David combed out my hair. my big lug of a guy who has no patience to be around people is so gentle & caring.

I've been feeling pretty off all day long, just weak & nauseaus. David's been making sure that I get plenty of rest & eat things that won't set me off again. He made sure that there was plenty of coke around to keep me settled.

Thanks David. I love you.

Viv asked "Why?"

2010-01-03T07:25:00.000-05:00

Viv wants to know why I haven't been blogging of late. I guess she has an inquiring mind. ;-)

2009 ended on a pretty sour note for me.

A few weeks ago, I left my office to pick Erin up & bring her back so I could finish my day. David had a dr appointment & wasn't going to be able to pick her up. Since I had to work late, I told my boss that I'd need to bring Erin back to the office but that it would be easy. I've done this before, & it's worked out well.

Before I left the office, Millie told me that she would need to speak with me when I got back. Well, I'm not the kind of person who takes that comment easily. Don't ever tell me that "we need to talk later." I get all twisted up in knots. By the time I got back to the office, I was sweating buckets & knew I was being let go. I went to Millie & told her that I was ready but she wanted to wait until the end of the day. I reminded her that this isn't something I could handle. So. We talked.

She was letting me know that after 3 years of being considered a valuable member of the team at the Coral Springs South office, my position was being eliminated at that office. There was no longer a need for someone to service client problems & the office was going to be driven purely by sales. (Ha!) I was being "asked" to take a transfer to our Coconut Creek office where my level of work would be highly appreciated. (Do you just wanna hurl, or what!?)

My first reaction was to let Millie know that I would be out of the office by the end of the week & the company could go get screwed. (Sorry but's it a lot nicer phrased this way as opposed to what I wanted to write.) My common sense did come around quickly though. I reminded Millie that she wasn't asking me to take a transfer (no matter how sweetly she was trying) but rather that I was being told if I didn't take the transfer I would be out of a job. Isn't that nice? Days before Christmas.

So I waited a day or so to let her know. In the meantime, we had a pep rally (GAG ME!) at the end of the week. My district manager came over to talk with me & let me know how excited she was for me taking this transfer. If any of you really know me, then you realize that I told her to cut the crap. I told her that taking me out of my office was the wrong thing to do - both for the clients & the office, not to mention myself. Being the prima donna that I am, I told her there was absolutely no way in hell that I could ever make it to the office earlier than 8:30. I refuse to pay more money to Erin's school for an early morning program. They want a lot more money which I was now going to lose since I'd be paying it out in gas money. I also told her that since my daughter is my priority I wasn't going to spend less time with her because the company wants to make a mistake & place me in an office that I had turned down 6 times previously.

Lots of tears. Lots of anger. No more loyalty to the company that has employed me for 14 years. I will always do my best for a client, but the company? You know what they can do.

If I didn't really need the salary to cover things like David's medicine, property taxes & things for Erin, I would have quit on the spot. We could make it on just David's salary - with a lot of adjustments, but he can't see that.

Needless to say, I've been pretty depressed about this whole thing.

Tomorrow, January 4th I start at my new office. I have to build up my client base. Again. There is no privacy in this office because they never rennovated it to have true offices or even cubicles. I'm trying to be positive. After all, I still have a job & so many people don't. This all sounds so petty but I'm tired of being moved around.

And, Viv, this is why I haven't blogged more. Right now I'm having a hard time seeing the good in anything.

Why?

2009-12-20T07:34:00.000-05:00

Why do the schools have holiday parties that consist of sugar, sugar, sugar & more sugar? Erin came home from school Friday in tears. She just can't tolerate so much sugar. The stuff makes most people go haywire & hyper. Erin crashes into a state of exhaustion. It's ridiculous that they do this - to both the children & the parents.
Why are most of the crafts during these parties centered around Christmas? Do they not realize that there are other holidays? Erin got to make so many Christmas crafts that even she was pissed off. The only thing they did for Chanukah was to make - yes, you got it, an edible dreidel - pure sugar. But she did come home with a Christmas cookie & a Christmas ornament. What about Kwanzaa? What about Diwali? If the schools don't know enough about these holiday, then they need to get educated. Erin finally put her foot down in the cookie decorating class. When her teacher gave her a Christmas tree cookie to decorate, she gave it back, told them she is Jewish & where is her dreidel cookie to decorate. (They didn't have too many of those!)
Why do people think email thank yous are alright? As a child, my teachers always sent handwritten thank you cards for the gifts we gave them. My mother saved them for me, & they are in a momento book that I still have. Erin's teachers all thanked her by email - as if she is allowed to have an email account at 7 years old. What happened to the art of sending the thank you by mail in your own handwriting? It's no wonder children have such horrendous handwriting these days!
Why is it that this time of year, when everyone should be in a good mood, most people are grumpy? The economy has nothing to do with it either because I've noticed it for years.
Why is it that Erin throws more tantrums during Winter Break than at any other time? I know that she needs her routine & schedule to be precise so even though she goes to the JCC for camp, I drop her off at the same time, & David picks her up at the same time. She still gets unruly which makes me nuts.

The 4th Night: OR All Caught Up!

2009-12-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

It depends upon how you look at it. I felt that I had to catch up with my lack of blogging since I got my new camera. After this, I can go on as usual.

Tonight is the 4th night of Chanukah. I didn't think Erin could get any more excited. I was wrong.

Waiting for permission to open her gift.

Woo Hoo!!! I LOVE this!!

This is the BEST present ever Mama & Dada!

This DSi was a hit! I guess we didn't have to get her everything else. Ha!

Chanukah: The Fun Continues

2009-12-14T21:48:00.000-05:00

Our friends Lori & Marc don't have enough on their plate. They had to mix it up a bit & throw a Chanukah party for the DD & their buddies. Erin was more excited about the party than she has been about her gifts.

Our wonderful hostess Lori

Grace prepared this yummy brie!

I'll be trying this for New Year's Eve I think. It went so fast we had to remember to save some for Lori!

How could you not want to try this yumminess!?

A beautiful Chanukah feast!

A bubble wrap dance contest.

Only Marc could come up with this!

The grab bag pile. The children were waiting quite impatiently to start this activity!

When I was but a young child, this game was called "Kerplunk!"

We got home, & Erin tore right into it. Lots of fun!

Lighting candles for the 3rd night.

Enjoying some latkes made fresh by David!

Yummy!!!

Oh my! More presents!?

Yes. Another set of Star Wars Legos.

The 2nd Night of Chanukah

2009-12-14T21:28:00.000-05:00

We went to my in-laws for a Chanukah brunch. Erin looks forward to lunch with her Grandma & Grandpa. She knows there will be plenty of bagels & lox. Today, there were also presents!

These 3 have a mutual fan club going on. My in-laws adore Erin, & she adores them.

She loves the new DS games Grandma & Grandpa got her!

The 2nd night at home lighting our newest Chanukah menorah.

Erin loved these 2 CDs from her godsister Kerri.

(Ssshhhh!!! She doesn't know that Kerri sent her more stuff. It's hidden away!)

On the First Night of Chanukah . . .

2009-12-14T21:20:00.000-05:00

Erin got quite a large box!

Doesn't David look thrilled?

You think she's excited?

It wasn't even set up!

Personalized just the way she wanted!

Apparently it is quite the comfy couch!

Because she knew the couch was going to be one of her presents, Erin asked if she could open a 2nd gift. This isn't the norm for us. We usually stick to 1 gift each night, but what the hay! We went for it.

She loves to open gifts. No dainty unwrapping here!

More Star Wars Legos!

Pics from the new camera

2009-12-14T21:03:00.000-05:00

I've been having a hard time figuring out how to use my camera. David was insistent that I get a new one this year. I ended up deciding upon the Nikon D60. We got a great buy & all the doodads that came with it terrify me!

When it arrived, they had forgotten to pack the 18-55 lens. Oops! The business I purchased the camera from was pretty shocked that they had left it out, but they were pretty prompt in getting it to me. When the box arrived, David put the lens on so that I could start taking pictures, but he only uploaded the software for me yesterday.

Tonight I uploaded all of the pics! All 357 of them. I deleted quite a few since, well, wow, they stunk! David & I differ in how we approach things. He goes with the flow. I need to learn everything first & then start using my toys. We had a war. He won. I started taking pics & don't have a clue as to what I'm doing. I'll figure it out, but in the meantime I'm having fun.

Lots of practice is needed, but here's where I've started.

Lovin' the camera!

Troi is still pretty ticked off that she isn't the only pet in our house!

Don't let his innocent face fool you! He's taking over the house.

Star is always looking for an angle, hoping for pizza or sushi.

It's Not Your Mother's . . .

2009-12-09T23:42:00.000-05:00

. . . Avon.

My friend Lori has taken on yet another venture. She's just not busy enough with all that she does for her family & friends. Somehow, she managed to squeeze in a few more minutes in her day to do more! No one is surprised. When Lori decides to do something, she doesn't waste a single minute. She grabs life by the horns & runs with it.

A few days ago, Lori opened her very own online store. She has some wonderful deals & is doing lots of fun give aways. Go on. Take a few minutes & peek around. You're going to be surprised. Today's Avon is not the same as what our mother's were used to.

My Thanksgiving Table

2009-12-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't believe we cook, here's our proof. No Boston Market here!

Chanukah is coming!

2009-12-06T22:09:00.000-05:00

And I am just not ready!

The presents are here but unwrapped. With all the crazy hours I'm working, & with Erin's constant need to have either David or myself with her, there has been no time at all. I haven't gotten the chance to take a picture for our card. I'm really late with this since Chanukah starts Friday night. However, I do have an idea that is kind of neat. I just have to set it up. I may have to have David take Erin to karate this week so I can wrap presents. Then I'll need to find time to take a few pictures.

Wow! I've never been this far behind before!

I just love this girl!

2009-11-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Day

2009-11-28T00:08:00.001-05:00

Started with this. 'Cause you know nothin' would have happened without it!

Decorated the table with Crafts by Erin

Set the mood with this yummy candle!

Mia Bella's Hot Orange Danish (Think orange tootsie pop.)

Had a quick snack for energy.

Got down to this.

Erin enjoyed cracking the eggs. No shells in here!

Dishing it up.

Overfilled the pans.

It would have helped if I'd paid attention & greased the pans but alas, this was an exercise in fun with Erin. After we discovered this problem, we went out for a light lunch since we eat pretty late in our house. David & I decided to go shopping & pick up a few last minutes items for our meal.

When we got home, I set the table so we could enjoy some relaxation before David started cooking. He prepared a wonderful meal for us - Cornish game hens, stuffing, roasted potatoes & onion, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn on the cob, salad & crescent rolls followed by a quick apple crisp for dessert.

The table looked so lovely that David decided to capture it on his camera. And, if I knew where the darn camera was, I'd have uploaded pics. Oh well.

In the end, this is what I am thankful for. Each & every day.

It's Just a Camera

2009-11-23T22:59:00.000-05:00

So why can't I decide which one I want?

I'm getting a new camera for Chanukah. It's time. I'm looking for more out of my pictures than I've been getting lately, & my camera isn't up to the task. David just wants me to choose one. The problem? He's a Nikon guy for as long as I know him.

I've been a Canon girl for as long as I've been in the digital world. Trust me, it isn't that long. When I got my first Canon, it was what we could afford. Barely. I loved my Canon. It's just that now the Canon I think I want is really expensive & may be more than I'm ready for.

Canon EOS - The Rebel

But this is a very expensive camera, & I don't have it in me to spend that kind of money on myself. That said, we found this little beauty with the help of Viv's niece Jessica.

The Canon SX20 IS

But then, there's the Nikon that is not quite as expensive as the Rebel & has features I'm interested in.

The Nikon D60

So. What's a girl to do?

National Adoption Month

2009-11-21T22:02:00.000-05:00

November is National Adoption Month.

For most people that doesn't mean anything. Not a cotton darn picking thing. In my family? It's a big deal. For many of my friends, it's also a big deal.

It was 1986 when I found out that biological children would never be in my future. After grieving for a while, I (as my dear friend Lisa says) put on my big girl panties, sucked it up & moved on.

Adoption wasn't a foreign word to me. It isn't that I knew anyone who told the world that he/she was adopted. It just wasn't a foreign concept to me. After all, who hasn't grown up watching Shirley Temple in The Little Princess? Or Heidi? Come on. Face it. Adoption was pretty hush hush back then. Now, lo these many years later, we shout "Adoption" from the rooftops. Now adoption is a topic to be dealt with. Those of us fortunate to be adoptive parents tend to be pretty open about it - especially if you have adopted internationally. Let's face it. Many of our children don't resemble us.

Anyway, this is our month to celebrate. We celebrate our families. We celebrate how our families came about. We celebrate our friends & their families. This group, this clique, if you will, is different. We understand each other. We know how important adoption is & why. We know the stress of the journey. We know the stress of trying to come up with the money involved because unlike a biological child, there is no insurance to help defray the costs involved.

We know that somewhere out there are birthparents who for whatever the reason, gave up their child. Forget the bureaucracy. Forget the paperwork. These children are what it's all about.

Happy National Adoption Month to all of my family & friends!!

Bubbles = Giggles

2009-11-17T23:04:00.000-05:00

After a yummy dinner prepared at Chez Publix, David ran a bath for me so I could destress.

When I walked into the bathroom, there were bubbles. Let me rephrase that. There were bubbles everywhere! I love bubble baths but never take the time to treat myself. Lately, it's been an in & out sort of shower or bath with no time to relax. Tonight my guy made sure I took the time.

Erin came in to sit with me & have our evening chat. She saw the bubbles & was immediately delighted. The smile on her face was pure joy. So I got to sit in the tub, relax & watch my girl as she played in the bubbles, giggling uncontrollably as she blew bubbles everywhere. The cats both ran for the hills!

I only wish I'd had my camera with me so I could have captured the joy on her face. Then again, the world is probably a happier place because I didn't.

Teamwork is Working Together

2009-11-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, I come up with a lesson that really gets the kids moving. I'm working with a new teacher this year so I'm trying to change up the same ole lessons. Thankfully Motti is up for almost anything.

The Tower of Babel is a great Bible story. I can still remember learning the story of how all the different languages in the world were brought about because people didn't understand how to work together. Considering I went to an Orthodox yeshiva (think Jewish parochial school), I got a lot out of these stories rather than the rote memorization that was expected.

Now it's my turn to be the teacher. I get to come up with all kinds of lessons around the Bible, teach Hebrew & in general show children that school can be fun - even on a Sunday morning. My classroom is an interesting place to be. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm all about organization & not chaos. I like peace & quiet. My class is very different. I like to think of it as "organized chaos." Even the teen volunteers enjoy working with me & my students.

Anyway, today's Bible story has so many themes, but the lesson I like to work with is teamwork. Motti was up for anything, or so he thought. Remember that the theme of the day was "teamwork." After our individual Hebrew lessons, we joined our classes. I read the story Tower of Babel aloud to the children. After that we did a word search on the board. The children needed to volunteer to find a word, but if they needed help, the rest of the team helped out. After the story, we had the children do a team exercise. They had to build their own tower together. However, they weren't allowed to talk - no speech. Nothing. Zip. It was a lot of fun to watch!

After building our tower, we went to visit the art exhibit the synagogue is holding. The students were told that they were going on a scavenger hunt in groups. They were given a sheet with a list of questions that had them looking for things in the art. At the end of our scavenger hunt, they had a session with the school director who asked all kinds of questions. Because they had worked in teams all morning long, they were prepared to help each other answer questions.

We ended the day having snack together & working on a bulletin board project. The theme? "Teamwork is Working Together."

Chanukah On The Brain

2009-11-14T22:45:00.000-05:00

2005 - Erin made this in preschool

2006 - Debbie & Ed gave us the silver one & Erin made the other one while she was crafting one day

2007 - Erin made this in Kindergarten

2008 - This was the one David got from his Aunt Hela

And so it begins . . .

Each year since we got married, David & I have to decide which Chanukah menorah to use. We have quite the collection. In fact, at last count, we had 17 menorahs. It really did happen quite by accident, but we seem to have a collection. Each piece means something to us.

Let's see. We have:

The electric menorah that stays in our front window day in & day out. I just never bother to take it down. The neighbors might have an uprising if it went missing.
The tiny menorah that uses birthday candles. My parents bought that for me when I was 5 or 6. It went off to college with me.
The menorah that David inherited from his Aunt Hela. It's a very traditional menorah but he really feels a connection to it.
The ceramic menorah that my aunt made for my mom when I was 10.
The ceramic menorah that my friend Mona made for me about 15 years ago. It's an exact replica of the one my aunt made for my mom. Apparently ceramics molds haven't changed much.
The menorah I received a number of years ago from a set of twins I had in one of my classes. So pretty!
The pewter oil menorah my in-laws bought for us in Israel when Erin was 3.
The felt menorah Erin made when she was in preschool. We keep that on our walls year-round also. Erin likes to walk past it & see it. She needs that sense of history & past so we give it to her in small ways.
The sand art menorah Erin made when she was in Kindergarten.
The ceramic menorah that Erin made a few years ago when she was crafting at home.
The silver toned menorah that our friend Debbie & her ex gave us.
The absolutely teeny tiny copper menorah that I used to keep on my desk at the bank during the holiday season.
The 2 menorahs that David & I currently take into our offices for the holiday season.
The really ugly brass menorah that a very dear client gave me.
The beautiful driftwood & ceramic menorah that my sister-in-law Mindy gave to Erin for her very first Chanukah home. This is a collector's item that Mindy saved just for Erin.
The menorah that I purchased from Brighton this past year. It is absolutely stunning. We're planning on using this one this year. Unless we come across a new one that tempts us!

You know? I think I need to take a picture of our collection. Hmmm . . .

The One

2009-11-12T23:16:00.000-05:00

I've known since I was 19 that this man was The One. With all the BS that comes with being married to him, he still looks at me as if I'm the only one. He puts up with me, & I can tell you that is a considerable amount. That look he gives me? The one that says there's no one else for him? He still sends it my way. And I melt each & every time.

So your daughter is adopted? Where is she from?

2009-11-10T23:54:00.000-05:00

This afternoon, I had a client who needed assistance. As always, I welcomed this new client in with "Hi! I'm Tammie. Come on in to my office & let's see how I can help you." I always hope that the request isn't a stupid one or a problem that I can't solve. And sometimes it's easy.

The gentleman I had invited in, sat down, looked around my office. I very proudly display a few pictures of my gorgeous girl & have the With Love From China FCC Indiana calendar hanging on my wall. There have been many comments - both nice & outright stupid. And I waited.

This gentleman very promptly asked me "So your daughter is adopted? Where is she from?" Needless to say, I proudly told him that Erin is from China. Before the words are done coming out of my mouth, he whips out his wallet to show off his own pics. I expected the proud grandpa to show off his granddaughters.

Nope. The proud dad was showing me pics of his 2 sons - both adopted from Korea. It was a delightful conversation with an insight into how an older generation dealt with adoption.

After a stressful few weeks, it was a nice way to end my day. Another adoptive parent showing off, telling stories. You could just see how proud he is of his 2 boys.

The Karate Girl

2009-11-10T21:15:00.000-05:00

She got her white belt on her first day!

Yellow Belt Day!! (June 23, 2007)

Orange Belt Day!! (June 8, 2008)

Purple Belt Day!! (February 23, 2009)

Blue Belt Day!! (October 26, 2009)

We have been telling Erin since she was old enough to walk that she would take karate lessons. Not soon after she turned 4, she started to ask when the karate lessons would start. Karate was one of the many enrichment classes offered at her pre-school. In the Spring of 2007, we approached the karate teacher Mr. Richard to see if he would let Erin try out for the class. Mr. Richard was pretty leary of this. His rule was that the child had to be at least 5, & Erin had many months to go till she was 5.

Anyway, we suckered the poor man into saying yes, & that was the end of our free time. Apparently Erin has a natural talent because after that one class, Mr. Richard gave Erin her white belt & asked us to sign her up for the weekly lessons. That summer she earned her yellow belt.

When Erin graduated from Kindergarten, she was ready to leave her pre-school behind. This was also the end of Mr. Richard. Little did we know it, but he was retiring from teaching because of his job responsibilities.

The annual belt testing was done over at the American Dragon Martial Arts Academy right by our house. After the orange belt testing, all of the students were offered the opportunity to sign up for lessons. David & I had hoped that Erin would want to continue her lessons. We were so pleased when she asked us before we could get a chance to ask her what she wanted.

Erin has gone from taking a lesson once a week for 45 minutes to 1 hour lessons 3 times a week. This past summer we signed her up for the school's Leadership Program. I'll admit it. I'm not always up for taking her to her lessons. However, Erin has a goal. She wants to be a black belt leader. And she's good. She's very good. The owners of the academy look over each of their students. They have told us that Erin has a natural talent. When she started in the academy, Sifu Neil sat down to watch her in her lessons. He is always amazed at how focused she is. Eventually, we'll consider private lessons with Sifu Neil - something he doesn't offer to the younger students; however, he thinks that Erin can do what he wants to teach her.

In the end, it will be up to her. I have a feeling she'll go for it. It is a very rare ocassion for Erin to miss her lessons because she really wants this. Our little 7 year old has set her goal. And it's our job to help her get there.

International Adoption? I'm not sure. HUH????

2009-11-09T21:59:00.000-05:00

I wrote the other day about how we were concerned about our family's reaction to an international adoption. Let me tell you. It was NOT easy. It was painful in many ways. The same people who kept telling us that we would be great parents? Not so happy about an international adoption.

My brother is the person who brought up China. His dear friend Kathy had adopted a beautiful little girl from China so when he heard that we had finally decided to start the process, he jumped right in with both feet & told us all about Kathy & Caitlin. He pushed for us to meet them. David fell in love. Thanks Seth! We owe you big for that one!

My father & stepmother couldn't have been happier. They were both so very supportive right from the start. Believe me, they had their own learning curve, but were totally supportive. My stepmother Nancy was brought up in the foster care system. Her experiences have been an invaluable learning lesson for me in so many ways. My dad had no problems at all with adoption - even knowing that our child would not resemble us. He thought that the act of adopting a child was a miracle. China adoption? Not a problem. I have Chinese cousins. Thanks Daddy & Nancy!

My grandfather? His only concern was would we raise our child to be Jewish. Duh. Of course Grandpa. There was no question about that. He was fine with it. Unfortuantely, he became ill & with illness came forgetfulness. He never got to know Erin although we have spoken with Erin about her Great Harry & his wife Great Harriet.

My in-laws were a tough package. They were thrilled beyond belief about our adopting a child. Their support? At first it was hard for them. Both of my in-laws are survivors of the Holocaust & had been in Auschwitz. Theirs was a hard life, & we were about to make it harder. My father-in-law phrased his concerns in a way that enabled David & I to understand where they were coming from. His exact words were "We paid too high a price for not being white enough. Do you really want to do that to a child? When there's a choice?" Yes Dad. We do. We gave him a book to read about China adoption. This was the only time in David's life that he can remember his father reading any book. Dad took the time to read the book & ask us questions. Once those were answered, they were full on board. By the way, the sun rises & sets with HIS granddaughter Erin.

My sister-in-law Mindy & her family thought adoption was a wonderful idea. They didn't care where the baby was from as long as we got to be parents.

My sister-in-law Sandra & her family? Let's just say that this is where the poop hit the fan. David & I have always been really close with his oldest sister. When I went told her we were adopting a child, Sandra was so happy. Right up until the moment I mentioned our child would be from China. That changed things. Now she wasn't so sure. Maybe we should continue just being a couple. I left the office in tears. After a very long talk between David & Sandra, the attitude changed. David asked her what she would do when he placed his Chinese daughter in her lap & introduce her to Aunt Sandra. He reminded her that this would be an innocent child with no idea of what was going on in the world. She thought about it for a few seconds & told him "Oh. I guess I would just fall in love with her." And she did. Erin loves her Aunt Sandra & Uncle Steven dearly. And they love her.

So. Is International Adoption easy? Not really. Are there challenges? Yes. Many people have prejudices that they need to deal with. Unfortunately, they don't always want to change. I'm thankful that Erin's family changed & rose to the challenge. My child? She started off being abandoned when she was 3 days old. We are blessed that she was well taken care of by the nannies in the orphanage.

And we are blessed that G-d above saw fit to place her with us.

With Adoption Comes Change

2009-11-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

Life changes when you adopt. Not just the fact that you're becoming a parent & have to worry about this amazing new responsibility. You have a different outlook on life. The things that you once valued no longer seem important. The people in your life change.

Before we had Erin, I was never home. David has known from Day 1 that I am an amazingly social creature. Whereas he could care less about being with people, I crave socialization like most people crave oxygen. I'd leave the house in the morning for work, come home after work & many nights go out again. Now I wasn't going out & partying but I wasn't home. Maybe I was out to dinner with friends or at their home. Maybe I was at a local bookstore. It doesn't matter now.

Before we had Erin, most of our friends didn't have children. It just sort of happened that way. We never planned that, but face it, we didn't have much in common with people who were parents. In fact, for me, it just hurt to be around people who were called mommy & daddy. I had friends who had children, & I spent time with them. I was strict & had no idea that flexibilty was a necessity. I thought that what an adult said was law. Ha! Anyway, it doesn't matter now.

When David & I finally decided to pursue adoption, we got all kinds of unsolicited advice. If someone had an opinion about anything, we heard it. I got lectures on the different kinds of formula & why I should use one versus another. I got lectures on store bought baby food versus homemade baby food. People told me what colors I should paint the baby's room. It was crazy, but people kept telling me that I had no clue how my life was going to change.

DUH!! Of course, I kept telling these same people that I did know my life was going to change & that they needed to be prepared for it all. Let's face it. I was going to be a mommy which meant staying home - no more going out every evening. I was going to need to find daycare, schools, a pediatrician & so on. The biggest change was that I wasn't going to be available to my friends at the drop of a pin because I would have my own responsiblities. No one believed me. They thought I was living in a dream world. Ha!

Adoption changed me in so many ways! David & I had always considered international adoption. It didn't matter to either one of us if our child didn't resemble us. We were more worried about his parents & my grandfather. More on that in another post though.

Now that we were pursuing international adoption & had decided upon China, we moved to the first stage of change. I found a group of women & men who were also pursuing adoption - some with our amazing agency & some who were using other agencies. We became the February Waiting Hearts. There were daily emails, weekly chats, cyber baby showers, plenty of laughter & plenty of tears. All of a sudden, I wasn't going out anymore. I was racing home to sit in front of my computer & chat with people I had never met. We dealt with so many things & never met each other. But these people understood me like no one else ever had or ever will. No one can ever tell me "it's too hard to deal with the flu." Ha! As my friend Parris-Lynn says "We survived SARS. We can survive anything."

The people in our lives are no longer the same people. Those old people who told me that I was in for a shock? Most of them didn't stick around. They couldn't handle the fact that I wasn't available to them anymore. I called it. But, that's okay. I surround myself with a bunch of people who are in the same boat as I am. They're also called Mommy & Daddy. Most of their families resemble mine - older parents with children who will never resemble them but who love them to pieces.

Here we are. Our dossier went to China on February 28, 2002. We got The Phone Call on April 1, 2003. We traveled to China on May 30, 2003 & came home on June 11, 2003.

It's been a long road. Just so we could be called Mama & Dada. The changes? I'm glad they happened.

What does adoption me to me?

2009-11-04T21:20:00.000-05:00

Seeing this picture on April 1, 2003

(She was 6 months old)

Celebrating her 3rd birthday - July 2005

Celebrating her 4th birthday - July 2006

Celebrating her 5th birthday - July 2007

Celebrating her 6th birthday - July 2008

Celebrating her 7th birthday - July 2009

It means having the honor to teach her, to love her, to laugh with her, to cry with her. It means all that & more.

It's What??

2009-11-02T21:12:00.002-05:00

It's National Blog Posting Month!

And thanks for telling me about it Lori! If you want to participate, you just need to post each day in November. This is a pretty big commitment - especially for someone who has never posted daily to begin with. I'm going to give it a shot just so I can get back into the habit of blogging again.

I started blogging a few years after we adopted Erin. My blog is for Erin & myself. I want her to have what I don't have - a compilation of memories captured by her mother. I have bits & pieces from my own mother but would have cherished seeing her thoughts written down. I know what I miss, & have been trying (not too successfully) to give her a piece of me for later on in life.

Blogging has been a huge source of comfort for me, but it has also

introduced me to a number of people that I might never have had the chance to get to know in any other way
captured my thoughts about Erin & my life as her mother
seen bits about David - the man who was put on this planet to drive me nuts but keep me pinned with that look of his that tells me I'm his one & only.
allowed me to write about my mother so that Erin will understand who I am & where I'm coming from. I've also written about how her life affects me.
been a source of fun in the way of tags from other bloggers
been a place where I can vent my frustrations

7 Year Well Visit

2009-10-18T20:34:00.000-05:00

Okay. Don't remind me. I know I waited a long time, but even though school is out during the summer when Erin has her birthday, I never remember her well visit. Bad mama!

This past week, Erin had her well visit with Dr. Liang. This was not an easy visit since Erin was also getting her flu shot - not something any child looks forward to having. My friend Lisa would tell me that I should have taken my camera out & snapped some pics, but I didn't. Usually I don't document the annual visit but this one just struck me.

Erin hit the American charts! Finally! She weighs 41 pounds & is in the 3rd-5th percentile. She is 44 inches tall & is in the 10th percentile. We've always known that Erin is petite & will never be the jolly green giant. Dr. Liang seems happy with Erin's progress. However, for the first time ever, she threw a caution out for us.

We have to work with Erin on her eating habits. She isn't eating enough. Although she eats well sometimes, on the whole, she needs work. We have to limit her juice to 4 ounces a day & bring her dairy intake back up to 3 servings a day. She also has to start eating some more veggies. Dr. Liang made a point of telling Erin that she has to try each vegetable that David & I put on her plate.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not as worried as it sounds. Erin avoids red meat at all costs but that's not so bad. Her idea of eating steak is taking one bite. Ha! Then again, she can pound down a half a bagel with cream cheese & eat lox by the pound. She is a carb girl & loves her French toast, waffles & pancakes. Fruit? Don't put it out unless you want Erin to stand there & finish the plate. Veggies? Nope. Corn is her speed. She told Dr. Liang that she once had a bite of broccoli & really liked it. When Dr. Liang asked her if she'd eat it again, you would have thought that she had 2 heads from the way Erin looked at her. What!? I'm supposed to eat more than one bite!? No way!! Not gonna happen.

The good news here is that Erin has been eating lunch every day. She eats pizza at school each Friday so I know she'll eat that. Also, she loves their chicken & potatoes. Other than that, I pack her lunch - peanut butter & jelly, nutella (sometimes with peanut butter & sometimes with banana slices), cottage cheese with sour cream, cheese sticks, yogurt with granola, fruit, pudding, goldfish, dried cranberries, mango, pretzels. Her drinks are usually a bottle of water, a fruit juice bag or some iced tea. Most days her lunch bag comes home empty.

Viv has given us the idea of having Erin drink the V-8 Fusion drinks. Each 8 ounce serving is a serving of veggies. She loves the banana strawberry flavor. Today was the first day she even noticed the veggies on the label. Thankfully, she didn't stop drinking it. Even so, we only give it to her every other day. Like most juices, it's high in sugar.

So why the worry? Her doctor believes that if Erin keeps growing at this rate, she will end up approximately 5 feet tall & about 105 pounds. Because Erin is so small, the worry is that she goes negative in her growth pattern. She is the smallest one out of her travel group sisters even though she isn't the youngest.

I say that we'll see what life brings us.

The Tooth Fairy Chronicles - Tooth 2

2009-10-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

(Forgive the lateness of this post, but we have been without internet for 4 days.)

Wednesday night Erin & I went to karate for her lesson. The lesson is 45 minutes long, & then we have a 15 minute leadership lesson. I usually sit with my friends Angie, Michelle & Barbara so we can chitchat. Class was going really well for all of our children. They were focused, paying attention & generally doing what they were supposed to be doing. I do admit to enjoying watching the lessons. I'm pretty darn proud of my girl.

The regular lesson ended on time, & the leadership class began. During one of their exercises, Sifu Helana had them at attention ready to move on. Erin raised her hand & when she was acknowledged said (plain as day) "Excuse me Sifu but I have to give this to my mama. My tooth just fell out." The look on Sifu Helana's face was priceless. She couldn't believe that Erin waited to be called on before saying anything & of course, how many people have teeth that just drop out of their mouths?

Erin ran over to hand me her teeny tiny bit of a tooth. When class was dismissed, Sifu had the entire class yell out "Congratulations Erin!" So cute!

Once we got home, Erin was reminded where she had to sleep in order to have a visit from the Tooth Fairy. She wasn't happy about it but followed through. Apparently, during karate, her friend Dakota told her that he saw the Tooth Fairy, & she has blue wings. WHAT!?!? I had to think quick for that one!

About an hour after bedtime, Erin went to David saying "It's not fair. It's not fair." She woke up long enough to ask me why Dakota got to see the Tooth Fairy. I explained that there are different Tooth Fairies for different areas & that they have different things they want. In our neighborhood I was told the Tooth Fairy doesn't visit children who are not in their bedrooms, & she certainly doesn't want to be seen!

Thanks Dakota!

Anyway, the Tooth Fairy has decided that she pays $2 per tooth after the first one. Whew!

The Tooth Fairy Chronicles

2009-10-09T20:26:00.000-05:00

After yesterday's big news we had to prepare Erin for her very first visit from The Tooth Fairy. I have to say that this was a lot of fun too!

We have been preparing Erin for The Visit by explaining that the Tooth Fairy comes at night while we are asleep. I told Erin that we had a problem since the Tooth Fairy only knows how to find the bedroom of the child who lost their tooth. AND, if the child isn't in their room, she gets lost. (David & I have been trying to get Erin to sleep in her room for years now. If this didn't work, nothing was getting her out of our room!) Erin told us that she would give it a shot & try sleeping in her room so she could have her visit. While David was out doing something, I explained that she needed to sleep in her room the entire night since we don't know what time the Tooth Fairy will show up.

My oh so smart child asked why the Tooth Fairy wouldn't be able to find her in our room. But Mama was prepared for that question! Did you know that if an adult is in the room, the Tooth Fairy gets confused!? Shocking! Just shocking I tell you!

Anyway, we started our ritual by finding Erin's special Tooth Box that my Aunt Jean made for Erin when she was a baby. (I like to be prepared.) We cleaned it up & made it all nice & fresh. And then I told Erin that in order for the Tooth Fairy to show up, she has to hear a public announcement to know which house to go to & where the bedroom is. So . . .

I had Erin repeat after me:

"Oh Tooth Fairy! We had a special thing happen today! Erin lost her Very First Tooth Ever! And we want you to know that she's put it someplace safe until you can pick it up!"

(Poor Erin giggled her way through this while I had to keep a straight face.)

And then she went to sleep. In her sleeping bag. In her room. For the entire night!

At 6:30 this morning, Erin came to me & told me that she wanted to see if the Tooth Fairy visited. We went into her room, & when she was awake enough, she looked on her dresser. And what did she see!? Why Fairy Dust of course! She opened her special box & was totally thrilled.

It seems that the Tooth Fairy pays pretty nicely these days. Erin got $5 in gold Sacagewea dollars! (I've had those since she was a baby also. I told you I like to prepare ahead of time.) Of course, I did let Erin know that $5 was only for the first time. After that, she probably wouldn't get quite as much.

And her 2nd tooth is probably going to come out in the next few weeks.

All She Wants for Chanukah is . . .

2009-10-08T18:19:00.000-05:00

. . . a new tooth!

Yup! You heard it here! Today, Thursday, October 8, 2009 my girl lost her very first tooth.

I came home after David & Erin since I had a doctor's appointment. No sooner did I walk in the door than Erin came running up to me "Mama! Look! My tooth came out!"

And thank G-d it did. Erin was told back in May that she had a loose tooth. I told the dentist that I was shocked because I thought her teeth were grounded in cement. He had a good laugh at that. Anyway, her tooth started to become visibly loose in August. She's been waiting for this to happen since many of her friends started to loose teeth last year. Her friend Alyssa lost 2 teeth in as many days!

So what was Erin doing when her tooth came out? Nothing. She was in aftercare doing her homework. She wasn't even eating a snack! It just fell out on the table. Cool!

Her tooth is so tiny! In fact, I got worried thinking that there was a problem because her permanent tooth is already there. David told me that the only way for the baby teeth to come out is for the adult tooth to push it out of the way.

My girl is growing up. I'm not ready for this. But I am so dang happy for her!!!

The Dryer From Hell

2009-09-20T14:22:00.000-05:00

After only 4 years, my Kenmore dryer has been declared useless. I have a great warranty on both the washer & dryer. The problem is that the warranty is great for Sears. For me? Not so great. My dryer broke down about 5 weeks ago. I immediately contacted Sears Home Repair so they could come out & fix my beloved dryer the next day. Oh no! That isn't an emergency according to Sears. I had to wait until the following week. WTF!? I have 3 loads of wet clothing & no dryer! How could that not be an emergency?

The first visit, the technician came out ready to work. Too bad he had nothing with him. Not one darn thing! He figured out what was wrong. Well, Mr. H your dryer isn't getting warm. Duh! A rocket scientist came to our house. David told him that we already knew that which was why he was visiting us. So what did said technician do? Why he ordered the parts of course.

And they came. A week later.

Then comes the next technician. He puts the dryer together, & it still doesn't work. He calls for support. The supervisor tells him what to do, but he mentions to the supervisor that what is being suggested will blow the main board which is not broken. Until the supervisor breaks him down. So he orders another part & now has to include a main board.

And they came. A week later.

This technician is a real sweetie. He puts it all together, & voila! It still doesn't work. They sent us a brand new main board. But it was blown. So this technician orders a new main board & requests to have it expressed to us. He also promises to come to out home first thing Saturday morning. I made a big exception for this since it is Rosh Hashanah, & I don't like to have work done in my home on this holy day. But I need my dryer. I can't afford to keep taking my clothing to the local laundromat. Besides, he swears the part will be here by Wednesday.

Thursday night we received a phone call. This was a followup to find out how our dryer is working. ???? Boy did David have a lot to say. While I cried.

This morning we did a bit of research because enough is enough. What is the use of having a warranty if the work never gets done? Since we needed to get a new dryer, I told David we may as well get a new washer. After all, 4 years of having a front loading, $$ saving washing machine gave me nothing but agida. Why? Because this wonderful front loading washing machine has leaked since day one. Oh. What did Sears have to say on that one? Mrs. H you do realize you have to clean your washer, don't you? AAGGGGHHH!!!!

So off to Lowe's we went this morning. And bought this beautiful washer & dryer set. BTW, they will be installed this coming Tuesday after 5:00 pm. And I smile. Yay for me! I can go back to laundry hell!

Lunch Date with My Girl

2009-09-20T06:04:00.000-05:00

On the 12th, I decided to take Erin out for a Girl's Day. Very impromptu. Aren't those the best? One of her favorite places to eat is Red Lobster. I can be assured that she'll eat half of their portion, & I don't have to badger her.

Can I just say. . . .

2009-09-07T06:22:00.000-05:00

that changing email accounts is a major pain in the tush!?