What I've Discovered

I am sick & tired of feeling the way I do.  I have had a weight problem for most of my life. 

When we were paperchasing for Erin, I started WW.  I was very successful & lost about 30 lbs.  While that isn't near what I needed to lose, I felt healthy & was also learning how to become a mommy to a 10 month old.  I looked at life & decided what my priorities were.  Mommyhood needed to come first.  It took me a long time to put the weight back on - almost as long as Erin has been with us.  Not bad considering that most people put back lost weight within a year or so.

I've finally decided that I need to take the bull by the horns.  What changed?  Well, let's see:

• My health is starting to suffer.  I'm having a hard time walking without my asthma kicking in &/or my back going out. 
• Erin is in need of a better nutrition role model.
• I hate the way my arms feel with all the extra flab.  Gosh! I despise that word but that is exactly what I have.  :-)
• It's been years since I have been able to wear a button down shirt.  I stopped even trying to find them.  How pathetic is that!?
• Bras.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a bra in my size!? Nope.  Didn't think so.  (I know.  TMI.)

I now have some major inspiration on my side.

• I want Erin to see a healthier way to eat.
• I want Erin to see a healthier me.
• My friend Sandra.  She has lost a lot of weight, changed her attitude about life.  In fact, Sandra now runs marathons! I am so proud of her.
•  Unfortunately, I also need to be able to take care of David.  Although he is trying to keep a positive attitude, we both know his health is not great.  I need to be able to help him & can't do that if I feel this way.

It's been a week & a half since I started WW.  My first weigh in I found that I'd lost 4 pounds.  Not bad! Then I admitted to myself that I know the first few weeks are about losing water.  I've made some changes - no more than 1 can of coke a day & drinking plenty of water.  I noticed this past week that most days I'm not even indulging in my coc@ co!a addiction.  Not bad! I'm still drinking coffee with regular creamer but limiting how much I use. 

I weigh myself every morning.  David says I'm going to let myself down.  I believe quite the opposite.  Weighing myself each morning lets me know if the previous day's food was good for me or not.  For example, we eat a lot of Chinese food.  I have to watch which foods or I can gain up to 2 pounds.  Sushi on the other is something I can enjoy with no problem.  I had wings for lunch on Friday.  Not worth it! Grilled turkey sausage links?  Very yummy.  Great treat. 

This morning I ate apple slices.  Most fruit & most veggies are freebies.  I ate the equivalent of 5 apples.  Mindless eating.  Lesson learned?  When I buy prepackaged fruit &/or veggies, I need to portion them out so I eat only 1 portion at a time.

Happy Independence Day!!

Tonight we'll be celebrating Independence Day which has come to be known as July 4th.  I sometimes think that we Americans have forgotten what this day really means.  I remember all of the lessons that my teachers taught.  Nothing really stood out at that time.  Now as an adult (Ha!) & a parent I get it.  My friend Lisa's son Joe joined the US Air Force.  My friend Angel's son Blake joined the Marine Corps.  These 2 young men are just 2 of many.  But they have decided to dedicate their life to serving & protecting.  It's because of people like these young men that we can continue to celebrate our independence as Americans. 

When I was growing up I remember my family having or attending backyard BBQs with friends &/or family.  The dads BBQd because "back in the day" women didn't do things like handle the grilling.  The moms prepared all of the foods that were going to be served throughout the day.  Night fell & the fireworks came out.  The young children had sparklers & thought they were awesome.  The teens were the ones who lit the fireworks - cherry bombs, rockets, you name it.  There was fun in the pool, tons of food & desserts to eat & just a general good ole time.

These days fireworks displays are set off in every city.  Because of the danger that we now know can be involved with fireworks, parents are more careful with what they allow their children to handle but the dads remember setting them off as teens & feel compelled to continue doing so. 

We live in a community that used to keep to itself except for a few isolated friendships here & there.  Ever since Hurricane Wilma it seems that more & more of our neighbors are friendly.  Or maybe it's just that now we have children &/or grandchildren.  Tonight David will set off some fireworks like he does every year.  I can't imagine our neighbors Joni & Dom G won't have their grandchildren here for the festivities.  Erin's friends Matthew, Sophie, Emma, Josh & Ethan will probably all be outside having fun.  I'll sit back with the parents & enjoy a wine cooler or 2.

Last year I baked some cupcakes for the kids.  This year I have a new treat in mind.  I may be an older teen (insert another "Ha!" here.) but I'm really looking forward to it.  Now I have to go charge my camera batteries.  It wouldn't be The 4th without me taking tons of pics!

Catching Up With Erin

Since I haven't blogged too much this year, I want to talk about some things that have gone on with Erin.  It was a big year for her & well, since this blog is for her - down the line, I really should let her know what happened this year.

• Right before school started, Erin quit karate.  She got her red belt & decided she was done.  David & I are very upset about this because she really is a natural.  Sifu H tried so hard to get Erin to come back.  Her hero Brittany tried to get her to come back.  One of the other teens that she admires, Bobby, also tried.  Nope.  Not happening.  I get it.  The required uniform is very hot - especially when you need to wear a shirt under it because it's too big.  She was also going 4-5 days a week which I offered to make no more than 3 days.  Still not happening.
• Her pediatrician is still very concerned about Erin's size.  Yes, Erin is healthy.  In fact, Erin hasn't really gotten sick for the last 2 years.  (Yay!)  At just about 10 years old, she isn't even 55 lbs.  Good things come in small packages.  And she is the bestest.  :-)
• Last summer we had Erin's vision tested.  All is good there.  No signs of dyslexia.
• Last summer I took the bull by the horns & brought Erin to her audiologist to get a confirmation on my suspected diagnosis of Auditory Processing Disorder (a/k/a APD).  Dr. Randall had been our go-to audiologist since Erin was 2 years old because her ears have some scarring inside.  I love it when I find out I'm right.  This is one of those times that I wish I weren't right.  Erin does have APD on the output organization level.
• This year in school I pushed to have an IEP put in place so Erin could get the necessary help.  I had to wait & have conferences & get pushy.  I went so far as to go to the principal Mrs. A & inform her that Erin would not be taking the FCAT without an IEP in place.  The IEP was put into place 1 month before the FCAT.
• This year Erin decided that being Chinese is a good thing.  She can be an American girl but still be proud of her Chinese heritage.  In fact, she had a few projects to do in school, & she found ways to bring her heritage into them.  (A story on animals?  She chose horses because she was born in the year of the horse.  A report on endangered animals?  She wrote about the FL blue butterfly because she loves butterflies & they are from where she now lives.  Her other endangered animal was the Chinese Great Panda because they are from her birth country.)
• FCATs in FL were much harder this year than previously.  Erin passed both the math & reading FCATs.  She did great! We are so darn proud of her.
• For the first time ever, Erin made the A/B honor roll for the 3rd quarter.  She worked so hard, & we had no clue about it until she called me from school to tell me.
• Last year there was no money for camp so Erin stayed home with David & me.  That really didn't work for any of us.  For the most part, the only happy ones in the house were the animals.  This year David & I pushed ourselves to get Erin back into camp.  It is very expensive but she is having a blast.  Very worth it to do this for her.  The smile on her face tells me that we did the right thing.

There are more things that have gone on this past year but these seem to be the highlights for now.

Graduation - Mine!

Every once in a while I decide to try blogging again.  It's time to give it a shot.

June 4th I graduated from Atlantic Technical Center with an Applied Diploma in Medical Coding & Billing.  Talk about a long 10 months!! I was actually selected to be student speaker for graduation.  My teacher waited until the last hour before the event to tell me there would be "a few hundred" people in attendance.  Yow!! I am terrified of speaking publicly.  Betcha didn't know that.

Here's my speech:

Everyone has a story.  My story actually began when I was a child.  My parents, like many others, wanted a better life for their children.  My mother taught elementary school children who had fallen through the cracks.  After a career in computers, my father also decided to become a teacher but he wanted to teach high school students.  He ended up teaching data entry & programming at what was, at that time, called a vocational school.  It was a common thing to see me at the school on my days out of school.  These students were the ones who probably were never going to make it to a college for one reason or another.  I loved seeing students learn how to do things that would help them in real life.  I was so very proud of what my father did.  To this day he is in touch with some of his previous students.

I graduated from high school & went off to college, got my degree & then stepped in to the real world.  I wasn’t prepared.  Not at all.  After trying to find a job in my chosen career of secondary education, I was able to find a job teaching adult education.  I found that it wasn’t what I wanted.  I did eventually find, not a job, but rather a career.  I was in the banking industry for 23 years until I lost my job in 2010.  I was devastated – felt as if the rug had been taken right out from under my feet.  My family & friends were amazingly supportive throughout this time.

By the time I was prepared to go back in to the job market, my husband of 22 years got sick.  In December 2010 he had surgery that was supposed to help him get back on his feet.  And when he went back, he was told he no longer had a job.  But that is a whole other story.  Throughout this time, our daughter was learning that the world we lived in could be a very hard place.   When she came into our lives, my husband & I promised ourselves that she would want for nothing.  Isn’t that what every parent wants - to give their child the world?  Now instead of the world being laid at her feet she no longer was able to do the things she used to do.   Not that she got every single thing that was out there but the simple things were getting hard to give her. 

I decided that it was time to make a change.  If I wanted to be able to find a job then it was time to find a new career.  I had long been interested in medical billing.  In fact, back in 1998 one of my friends & I thought about leaving banking to start a business together.  We looked at medical billing because we knew someone who was doing it.  It was a nice dream but never happened.  We were comfortable where we were. 

That was the end of medical billing until Spring 2011 when I was sitting at a friend’s house enjoying a cup of coffee.   We were talking & I mentioned that I was considering going back to school for medical billing.  I decided then & there that it was time to take that step.  I told everyone but did nothing about it because I was scared.  This would be yet another change for my family.  Were we up to it?  I wasn’t sure so I left it alone.

As we got closer to the end of the 2011 school year, that same friend asked me if I’d finally done something about signing up for school.  She was also making a change in her life & wanted me along for the ride.  I had looked up medical billing & found that the career was actually medical coding & billing! There were so many options for where to go.  I could take classes online at home or go to one of the post-secondary colleges.  And then I remembered Broward County had a technical school system much like the system that my father had taught in when I was growing up.  Over the years, I’d taken various classes at the different campuses so I knew this was a good option for me.  I wanted to register for the medical coding/billing program that started in August 2011.  I was afraid so my friend Lisa started the process for me.  She wouldn’t let me sit back & be afraid. And so my ride began!

Going back to school at 48 years old was hard.  Definitely not the easy way out of my problems! I wasn’t used to having to lug around textbooks, study for hours on end.  Raise my hand to speak?  I thought that was over long ago.  Wear a uniform?  Were they kidding?  Apparently not because I’ve been wearing navy blue slack & white shirts since September.  My husband & daughter have put up with having a messy house, laundry piles everywhere, household chores that kept getting put off & meals that were so far from nutritionally balanced it was scary.  The take out places think they’re on speed dial & even know what we usually order!

I vividly remember my first morning in the medical coding/billing class.  Our teacher spoke with us about all of the requirements and the expectations.  I wasn’t sure about this and even took a few days off to think over what I was getting myself into.  I am so happy that I decided to stick it out!

At Atlantic Technical Center I found so much! The teachers here have actually worked in the fields they were teaching us about.  They know what we can expect once we leave the cocoon of school.  They are preparing students each and every day for life in the real world.

Atlantic Technical Center is also a magnet high school.  On any given day you can see high school students out in the common area.  They’re laughing & studying & doing what they’re supposed to be doing.  You can also see people who are in the post-secondary programs out there – laughing & studying & doing what they too are supposed to be doing.  In fact, in many of the post-secondary programs, there are high school students learning right alongside the adults who have come to Atlantic Technical.  It’s great to see people from all different walks of life learning together.

There are a variety of programs offered at Atlantic Technical.  In the culinary arts program, the students prepare each of the meals that are served in the cafeteria.  I have seen teachers right alongside students teaching everything from how to ensure the cafeteria is clean and neat to food preparation to proper serving techniques.  Business administration offers students the opportunity to learn court reporting, how to become an accounting assistant, an administrative assistant or even a medical administrative specialist.  Information Technology is here to stay, & Atlantic Technical is up to the challenge of preparing their students in this program to become programmers, multimedia designers or even network support specialists.  Toyota Motor Sales has selected Atlantic Technical Center to be part of their technician training & education program. 

And, of course, I can’t forget the wonderful programs we have in the health sciences department!  Dental assisting, hemodialysis, pharmacy technician, and practical nursing are just a few.  Each of these programs is taught by dedicated people who are here to guide us in our journey.  These teachers are here every day before students get to campus & leave after students are long gone.  They are dedicated to ensuring that students learn all that can be learned.  They are dedicated to ensuring that when students go out into their externships and then the real world, the students are prepared.

 Ms. Sandra Ervin along with Ms. JoAnn Smith are the medical coder/biller teachers at Atlantic Technical Center.  Ms. Ervin terrified me in the beginning.  I’m grateful that she knew to tell us what life is like in the real world.  She made sure that we were prepared for the time when Ms. Smith would come in to teach.   Ms. Smith has quite the reputation!  She is strict but caring.  She is honest.  She kept us in line.  She demanded professionalism.  And when we went on field trips, I understood.  She wasn’t just there to teach.  She cares about the profession and wants to teach us how to be the best medical coder/billers we can be.  She expected, but she gave. 

My story is just starting.  Again.  But now my story is about teaching my daughter and her friends how to be the best that they can be.  I want the children of tomorrow to know that there are options out there for them.  Atlantic Technical Center is a great option.  Open your eyes.  Read the story of your life. Allow others to know your story.

As I walked down from the podium one of the teachers told me it was the best speech she had heard in many years.  Some of my fellow graduates congratulated me & told me that my speech was inspiring.  As I crossed the stage to get my diploma, each & every person standing in the line congratulated me & told me they were impressed with my speech.  Considering that I was shaking while I was speaking, it felt really good to hear all the compliments.

Erin, I want you to know that life is filled with challenges.  G-d willing your dad & I are raising you in a way that lets you know you will always be able to exceed them.

Celebrating Chinese New Year FCC-SFL Style!!

Yesterday our local FCC chapter held their Chinese New Year party.  Instead of going down to a restaurant in Miami like we've done in years past, we changed it up a bit.  Well, quite a bit to be honest.  We had a picnic for our members complete with a bounce house, catered food, balloon artistry, &, of course, the infamous lion dancers.

This past week the weather was awful.  It rained so badly at one point, that I could have sworn ole Noah waved as he passed me by!! (The parking lots at school flooded.)  All day Friday, I kept hoping that the rain would disappear in time for our party.  Apparently, Lori was praying for it also because it worked! 

So instead of having rain & worrying about keeping everyone happy but dry, we had a day straight from the northern states.  It was so cold that people were shaking!  Living in S FL, we don't really know how to handle the cold weather.  Sun?  Rain?  No problem.  Temps below 70?  We want to hibernate.  When I left my house in the morning, it was a breezy 65.  Not bad.  Unless, like me, you were wearing shorts.

But we are a persistent bunch of folks.  We weren't letting a little thing like a cold snap get in our way.  Oh no! Jackets were brought out.  By those of us smart enough to have them in our cars.  (Normally, I keep a spare hoodie in my car for both Erin & myself.  She "helped" clean out my car in the early morning & put my hoodie in the house.  Interesting how she left hers in the car though.)

Normally, I'd have my pics up, but Blogger seems to be arguing with me again.  ARGH!!!

The Year of the Dragon

Gung Hay Fat Choy!!

&

Xin Nian Kai Le!!

Coming to Terms With It

Diagnosed in 2004 with diabetes, David has fought this disease every step of the way.  Being honest about it, he is not great with his diet, but I'm on his case all the time. 

Something I never blogged about was December of 2010.  I don't know why.  It was awful, but it should definitely be marked down as a landmark time in our lives.  So much changed. 

December 2, 2010 David had his first surgery - a trial for a spinal cord stimulator in his back.  We needed to do something about the escalating pain from the diabetic neuropathy.  After some tweaking, he decided it was a go. 

December 22, 2010 David went in for a simple outpatient surgery to have a permanent spinal cord stimulator implanted.  He ended up in ICU, & they couldn't get him extubated until the afternoon of the 24th.  What I had found out was that they were keeping him hyped up on meds & trying to extubate him without me there.  When I finally got there, I made them let me handle David.  It took quite a while, but by the mid-afternoon, when they tried again, they were finally successful. 

The pain levels were astounding.  Why?  Well, no one paid attention to me when I said his dosages weren't being administered properly.  It took a lot of threats to get them to contact the doctor managing his pain throughout this event.  Let me tell you, the doctor was not happy at all.  He had left orders that he was to be contacted if there was a problem.    Needless to say, his pain meds dosages were finally adjusted.  When the surgeon came in, I asked about bringing David home.  I was up front about our experience in the hospital & that David would recover faster at home.  Thankfully, the surgeon agreed & David finally came home.  Oh! And, the surgeon will never go to that hospital again.  He has privileges there, but hasn't gone there in years.  He did it as a favor to us since it was convenient for us.

Erin had been staying with Jolene & her family throughout this week.  A few hours after I got David settled, Jolene brought Erin back home & left us with a care package since she knew we weren't going to be thinking of food.  She did this for us on her holiday - Christmas Day.  Let's just say that in David's eyes, Jolene is a hero.

He went back to work on February 1, 2011.  Within the hour, he was let go from his job.  His boss decided that rather than accomodate David & his needs, they no longer had a job for him.  And the fight was on.  We won! July 2011 David was reinstated as a disabled retired employee.  We also won disability from S*cial Secur!ty.

In the end, it was for the best.

David can't work anymore.  His pain meds keep him up till all hours of the night, & then he crashes from the exhaustion.  He has no ability to concentrate. 

In the last year, I have encouraged David to continue with his hobbies - astronomy, model building, saltwater fish tanks.  We've made changes to how he deals with his hobbies & the limitations his neuropathy has put in his path.  I insist he keep up with all of it to the best of his ability.  He's really doing well with it.  It takes longer to build a model.  I bought him a motorized cart for his telescope so he can move it easier.  Things like that.

Today we came to terms with the fact that he can't keep up with our fish tank.  It's a saltwater tank & beautiful.  He just can't do the water changes & other maintenance.  I've been waiting for him to make the decision & voice it.  He was waiting for me to voice my decision.  Now we have to find out how to sell everything.  And if there is anyone who even wants to buy it all.

And we're coming to terms with it all.

Unhappily but realistically.

Bribery? You Bet Your sweet Bippy!

It is official. 

We have joined you. 

The many.  The desperate. 

Yup.  We gave in.

Why?

Ah! Now that is a good question.

We did it because we felt we had no choice.

Oh! You want to know what we did!?  That's easy.

We have decided to bribe Erin.  She HATES to read.  (And if you know me, you know that we don't encourage the use of the word "hate.")  At her age, she should be reading with good comprehension & fluidity (Is that even a word?).  Erin will do anything to avoid reading.  She has really improved since last year, but it is still a major struggle to get her to read. 

After emailing with her teacher today, I found out that Erin didn't do as well as we had hoped on some of her standardized testing.  Mrs. W wants Erin to read everyday.  For fun.  Ha! That is just so darn funny!  Mrs. W knows Erin really well so I'm sure she felt she had to put that in writing even knowing that Erin hates reading.

Consequences?  They mean nothing to her because she refuses to read.  David, my oh so wise, guy came up with a plan.  Instead of taking away privileges, we are now going to bribe Erin.  With her allowance.

We started giving Erin an allowance each week.  It wasn't tied to anything - no chores, nothing.  Now we're bribing her.  She gets $1 a day.  As long as she reads for at least a half hour.  Smart kid asked what she would get if she read for a longer period of time.  I told her she would get the satisfaction of knowing she'd found a book that she enjoyed.  (Yes.  She rolled her eyes.  And, no, I didn't get upset.)

And what happens when she doesn't read? 

No allowance.

That simple. 

Made In China

Tonight Erin was building the model she received for Chanukah from David & me.  Out of the blue she made the comment "Why is everything made in China?"  in a very negative tone.

I explained that many things are made in China because the cost of labor is cheaper.  I told her that people want to buy things made in America because that way we can keep people employed here.  Not everything made in China is poor quality.  Not everything made in the U.S. is good quality.

This topic came up before but she wasn't ready for the conversation - even at the most basic level.  This time I felt that she deserved an answer.

Why did "made in China" come up?  Because all around us, people don't think about what they're saying..  They don't realize the effect their words will have on those around them.

This is the perception Erin has of things that are made in China.

By the way, Erin was made in China.  So was her godsister.  So were many of her friends. 

The next time you are thinking of making a negative comment about things made in China?  Don't.

Nights 5 & 6

 

Chanukah 2011 seems to have been the year of games. Erin has always been interested in having games but not in playing them. Or should I say, playing them correctly? This year we decided that rather than have a ton of crafty gifts, it was time to load her up on games. And, of course, to play them correctly.


In fact, it started out with her receiving a board game at her friends' Ethan &Katie Starr's annual Chanukah party! There is a new game out called HeadBandz which she got in the grab bag gift exchange. She really wanted it, but just how many games can one girl have!? (Apparently a lot, if you look at my friend Sandra's daughters' games!)

Erin had lost parts to her Monopoly game. That needed to be replaced. Whenever we play Scrabble, the cats walk all over the board moving tiles everywhere. Sandra took a picture of her daughter playing Scrabble where the tiles were locked into place. Oh yea! I replaced our set & got the tile locking set.


Spinagogue isn't going to work out quite the way I thought it would. She's more interested in the stop watch & timing everything than she is in spinning the dreidels tournament style. Her godsister sent her an old game that has been changed up. I loved Clue as a kid! Of course I had what is now known as Clue Classic. Erin was thrilled to receive Clue Harry Potter! And, the other gift from Kerri? Went over BIG also. Wii Harry Potter! Both Erin & Kerri are HUGE Potter fans. (Can't imagine where they got that from!)

One of the things I've really wanted is a Pandora bracelet. I found one that I liked that is pink leather. I can't wait to put my beads on it. David LOVES his new model & the movies that he received. That man can watch sci-fi from the beginning of the day till the end of time. In fact, he's already watched both movies & is trying to figure out how to get me to watch them too. Thank you so much Vivian, Corey & Kerri!!!

Last night, the 6th night, Erin got another game she's been wanting.

Mancala isn't played exactly the way she has been playing it, but even with the correct rules it's fun!

The 4th Night? A Big Hit

For months before Chanukah we kept asking Erin what she wanted for her presents.  It just makes sense to ask for a list of things.  Erin knows that she is giving us a list & she may or may not get some or all of what's on the list.  In fact we make a point of reminding her that she can ask for anything but that Chanukah is only 8 nights.  She gets her present(s) from both sets of grandparents on one night.  There is also a night that is dedicated to presents from her godsister Kerri & Kerri's parents.  David & I take care of the other nights.

This year Erin has been asking for a Wii.  We weren't really sure we could swing it so we told her that she shouldn't count on getting one.  Since we usually splurge on one big gift, I convinced David that this would work.  He is concerned about Erin (or perhaps me?) accidentally throwing the Wii controller into our tv.  I told him we could put a Wii in our front bedroom which doubles as an office, but that means buying a new tv, or that we could enforce a rule that the wristlet attached to the controller always be worn if we put it into our family room.

I put the huge box out right before lighting candles.  Erin just wanted to open her big present even though she had no clue what was inside.  I think the Wii went over really well.

This is one happy girl which makes me one happy mama.

Night 3

Last night we celebrated the 3rd night of Chanukah. Erin got a gift that is new to the market. Spinagogue is tournament dreidel playing. At first she was confused, but my smart girl figured it out. In the end, I think she's more charmed by the stopwatch that came with the game!

Last night also brough a huge surprise for me also.  Last year David surprised me with the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer series.  This year, he gave me the entire Angel series! I have really been wanting that but didn't say anything.

He also gave me some beads for a new bracelet that I'll be getting tomorrow night. Shhh!! Don't tell anyone I know about that!

 

Grandparents' Night

The 2nd night of Chanukah was thanks to Erin's grandparents.  Bubbie & Zaydie (my father & stepmother) and Grandma & Grandpa (David's parents) sent her the Razor Spark scooter she's been begging to get.  Her last scooter got ruined, & she had really been asking for this one for a long time.  Erin had been hinting at this particular scooter almost daily for the last few months.

David surprised me with another gift also.  I really enjoy scrapbooking even though I haven't done more than 3 or 4 pages since school started.  A few months ago, one of the magazines I get made mention of a new book that has a gazillion suggestions for journaling & card making.  Not only did I get the book, but it's autographed by the author!!

All of this aside, my favorite part of the evening was allowing Erin to light the candles on her own.  She has been asking to help me for days, & I thought it would be fine.  When it came time to actually light them, Erin reminded me that I had said she could help me.  At the very last minute, I decided to let her light them on her own.  I've been lighting the candles since I was her age.  Now it's her turn.

ARGH!!! Blogger isn't letting me upload pictures!!!

Sorry!!

The True Gift of Chanukah

The first night of Chanukah was a true gift to me!

The aroma of brisket was all around us.  I was practically drooling it smelled so good in the house! Erin was trying to figure out how to get some before her daddy woke up.  Normally, I'll take a bit to taste - just to see how it is, but this is one recipe that has never failed me.  I held off.

David woke up & wasn't feeling well.  At all.  But, man was he determined.  His job on Chanukah has always been to make the latkes.  I mean. let's face it, his latkes are yummy!  I told him the latkes could wait, but there was no way he was letting that happen after last year when we had to go without any due to his surgery.

Brisket was served.  Latkes were served.  Erin decided that she doesn't like the brisket.  Of course, she still isn't a big red meat eater so I wasn't upset.  David & I enjoyed it all while she picked at a few latkes.

Erin chose this year's chanukiah (menorah) - the one we got from his aunt when she passed away.  The candles were lit, & the presents came out.  I gave David the complete "The Godfather" series on blu ray along with a book on Photoshop for Astronomy.  He gave me the mp3 player I'd been wanting.  Then we gave Erin her gifts.  She absolutely loved them! David picked out a model for her while I picked out a new necklace - a leather "chain" with a blue guitar pick that has a Jewish star on it.  The iTunes gift card went over well also.

And then the real gift happened.

Erin always wants to buy things for us.  She loves to give gifts.  This year David & I sat her down & told her that the best gift she could ever give to us was something that she made.  She had a holiday bazaar at school at the time so we wanted her to understand that those things would really hold no value.  I told her that when my own mother passed away & I had to go through her belongings, I found many of the cards I had given to her over the years, but only the ones I had made.  In fact, I still have the necklace my brother Seth made for her when he was in, I think, 2nd grade.

Well, Erin came out of her room with a bunch of little gift wrapped items.  Oy! I had to wonder what was in all of those things held together with way too much wrapping paper & about 4 rolls of tape.  (She needs lessons on being frugal with wrapping paper & tape for sure!)  David & I opened each little package.  It seems that Erin really heard us.  She painted some ceramic trains that were in her craft area & wrote cards & letters to us.

Of all the things that were given last night, I know I will forever treasure the little note she typed on the computer. . .

What Life Is All About These Days

School started at the end of August, & my life has been filled with learning all kinds of things.  I'm in school for medical coding & billing.  Who knew I'd need to know all about these awful diseases?  Not me.  But thanks to a wonderful teacher who knows how to push all of my buttons (& not necessarily in the right way), I'm learning & enjoying it all. I've had to do reports on sorts of diseases.  Some I know about personally.  Some I've wanted to learn about because of the children & adults in my life who inspire me.

 Lupus

 Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

 Rosacea

Reactive Attachment Disorder

 COPD

Fibromyalgia

SO.  Now you know what I've been up to these last few months.  I graduate this coming June.  I don't know who is looking forward to my graduation more.  David has had to put up with my stubbornness & tantrums when I'm scared.  Erin has really hated not having me spend enough time with her.  Me?  I can't wait.  For a new career that will bring a paycheck.  For time with my husband so we can go back to being us.  For my daughter who really misses time with me as much as I miss time with her.



Do I Continue?

I haven't blogged in months.  Blogger doesn't seem to like me anymore.  I can't upload any pictures.  I can leave comments on only a few of my friends' blogs.  I'm very frustrated because I miss blogging.

I started to blog because I wanted Erin to have a record of what was going on in our life when she's older.  Blogging quickly became therapeutic for me.  And then Blogger quit on me.  So sad.

I'm considering moving over to another platform for blogging.  I just have to find one that is moron-proof.  So.  Do I love over to another platform & continue, or do I give it up?

Annual Checkup & Answers

In 2010 at her 8 year old checkup, Erin weighed 43.5 pounds and was 45.25 inches tall.  I've been saying that she had a growth spurt this past year.  I was right.

At today's checkup, Erin weighed 48.5 pounds & is 46.5 inches tall.  That's a pretty nice growth spurt!

As always, Dr. L was wonderful.  She spoke with Erin asking her all the usual questions.  I laughed when she asked if Erin ate well - fruit, veggies, etc.  Let's face it.  Erin thinks chicken nuggets are a way of life, & if she absolutely has to eat vegetables, she'll eat some corn.  I kept quiet (or as quiet as I can be) & listened to what Erin had to say.  Then it was my turn.

I explained to Dr. L about all the changes in our life since 2010 - my job loss, David's surgeries & his subsequent job loss.  Of course no matter how hard a parent tries to make things easier for their children, the children know something is up.  Erin is no dummy.

Right before the nurse left us in the exam room, she gave Erin one of those paper gowns to wear for her exam.  Erin didn't want to wear it & kept reminding me that she didn't have to wear it last year.  I got so upset that I took her shirt off & put the gown on.  What a mean mommy!

Wow! What an eye opener! Immediately, Erin threw a tantrum - screaming, crying & twisting her hands as if she just couldn't handle it.  Being who I am, I couldn't let her be like that.  I took the gown off & put her regular shirt on.  Holding her in my lap, calming her down, I was able to get her to tell me that the gown hurt her.  Hmmm . . .

I spoke with Dr. L about things bluntly.  I told her what happened with the paper gown, Erin's academic issues, sleep issues, texture issues & everything.  I mentioned that I had done some research on my own (which I know all doctors love to hear) & believe that Erin has markers for both Sensory Processing & Auditory Processing Disorders.  I love that Dr. L really listened to me.

In her opinion, Erin may have short term memory problems along with the possibility of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) & APD (Auditory Processing Disorder).  She was, as always, very helpful.  I now have the names of 2 doctors that work with the school district & can assess her for short term memory problems.  I also have the name of an audiologist for an evaluation for SPD & APD.

I'll be on the phone tomorrow setting up appointments.  G-d willing we're on our way to getting Erin the help she needs.

Swim Lessons End

Today was the last day of swim lessons for Erin. 

Last night all she could do was scream & cry that she didn't want to go.  Why?  Because her swim instructor was going to make them jump off the diving board! Oh wow! I used to love that as a kid.  Then it dawned on me.  Water! Jumping into a pool that was deeper than what she's used to.  All of her fears trying to resurface.  I told her that jumping off the lowest diving board was going to be tons of fun that she would want to keep doing it over & over.  Boy did I hope that was the case!

When we got to the pool this morning, it was all I could do to keep Erin in the car until I found a parking spot.  Of course, I didn't.  She got out & went right to the waiting area.  By the time I got there, she was raring to go.  I kept my mouth shut & reminded her that this was going to be "the funnest lesson ever."

She was really nervous about jumping but went along with a positive attitude.  I was truly proud of her for attempting this even though she was visibly nervous.  And she loved it.  Absolutely, positively loved it!

After the lessons ended, I asked her swim instructor what he thought our next step should be.  Apparently, Erin's technique is very good, but he recommended that we repeat the same class so she can work on her endurance.  She needs to be able to swim the length of the entire pool back & forth.  He said that she can move on to stroke development afterwards to learn some new things. 

Considering Erin's fear of water from the time we got her until just a few years ago,  I am totally amazed.  She now loves going to the pool &/or taking showers/baths.  In fact, I'm hard pressed to keep her out of the water.  Yay for you Erin!

Fathers Day 2011 Came Early

This past Tuesday, I took Erin over to Michael's to make a craft for David's Fathers Day gift.  We were meeting up with Shari & Chianna for a fun evening.  Needless to say, Erin couldn't have been more excited.  After all, what could be better than time with a friend & getting to do a craft!?

This evening, before dinner, Erin & I met Lori & Mark along with the DD over at Cecilie's Gourmet Ices for a treat.  While Erin chatted it up & played with her buddies, I got a chance to sit & talk with Lori & Mark.  I really don't get enough "grown up time" outside of the house.

Erin really enjoys time with all of her friends but I love the connection she feels deep down in her bones for her FCC buddies.  Planning little treats like yesterday & this evening are what this summer is all about!

When we got home this evening, unfortunately the weather took its toll on my asthma.  I ended up asking David to cook the dinner I had planned.  Ya just gotta love a good grilled steak accompanied by portabello mushrooms.  I didn't expect it, but Erin was even willing to try some steak! To top it off, she even liked it.  Of course, she only ate about 2 bites of steak, but I'll say "Yay!" just for the progress of her saying she'd try it.

All day long Erin has been super excited about the gifts she made for her daddy.  As we were finishing dinner, she asked if she could give David his gifts.  Anyone who really knows us, is well aware of the fact that we never (& I do mean never!) wait for the actual day to exchange our gifts.  The excitement & thrill of giving the gift is as wonderful to us as the receiving of the gift.  This bug has taken a chunk out of our girl.  Erin hates to wait for any special day to give a gift!

She brought 2 gift bags just absolutely stuffed to the gills with tissue paper to David! I think David was almost digging for gold trying to find his goodies! Oh! The look on their faces was pure joy.  Erin loved seeing her daddy open his gifts.  David was so touched by her excitement & the gifts themselves showed that Erin really gets her daddy.  Me?  I loved watching both the giving  & the receiving of these gifts.

On This Day

On this day 8 years ago, David & I became parents. 

On this day 8 years ago, Erin became a daughter.

On this day 8 years ago, we became a family.

There aren't enough words to thank anyone &/or everyone.  But we do.

To the woman who carried this child for 9 months, thank you.

To Mrs. Yu & the nannies who care for this child while we waited to become a family, thank you.

To the people of the CCAA who decided we belong together & matched us, thank you.

To the family, friends & co-workers who encouraged David & me to become parents, thank you.

To G-d above who decided that we really didn't have to be childless & that Chun HuaXu needed parents, thank you.

And to Erin the child that we have loved since the day we decided to adopt, we thank you.  From the first moment we saw your sweet, little face we knew that we were a family meant to be. 

Thank you Erin for showing your daddy that he could be a daddy & showing him just how much of a good daddy he is.

Thank you Erin for showing me that I can step back & learn to do things in a way that isn't my way & for understanding that I needed to be shown how to be silly.

Thank you Erin for adopting us as much as we adopted you.

459 AWBB AAF NMW!!