30 Years Later

When I was 8, we moved to Long Island. They were living in the house across the street. Our moms & dads were very good friends - not just family. We used to just walk into each others' homes - no knocking or ringing doorbells for us. At some point our moms had a falling out, but we never stopped talking. I guess kids just know better when it comes to certain things.

When I was 16, we moved to Florida. After a while, we lost touch with each other. Now it is 30 years later, & we're back in touch with each other. I love FaceBook!

As you know, my name is Tammie, & I am a FaceBook addict. Well, over the last few months I've been searching for family & old friends. After not having contact for 30 years, I found my cousins Alan & Joni. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Alan & I used to tease each other mercilessly as kids but always had a connection.

I'm older by a few months. The year we turned 13, we knew we would be required to fast on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). The holiday came, & I was already 13 so I was fasting. Alan's birthday is in December so he wasn't 13 yet thereby not fasting. I can remember him walking into my house carrying a plate of cherry pie, eating it & making "yum" noises. Then he looked at me & said "Gee. I guess you can't have any." He was lucky I didn't throw something at him! Of course, when I got sick, he was right there with me too. It was a great relationship.

His sister Joni is older than me by a year but I always looked up to her. At 15, she really didn't want anything to do with a younger cousin but she always made time for me. She introduced me to Chicago, Elton John, poetry along with lots of other things.

Unfortunately, Joni had a very early flight home this morning so we didn't get to meet up. Alan & I met up at a local restaurant. It really felt as if no time had passed even though we are now 45 & both have children. He looks just like his dad with his mom's coloring. And, of course, he told me that I looked just like my mom.

I can't wait for us to get together again. Next time we're going to one of our homes & bringing old family pictures to browse.

Family Pic

How often do you find a picture of yourself that you like? Me? Almost never!

This past Sunday, my friend Lori & her husband Marc invited us to their son Ethan's naming ceremony. It was a beautiful ceremony, & I can't thank them enough for thinking to include us.

Ethan's godmother Shannon has a really cool mom who also loves to take pictures. Patti almost always has a camera in her hand. I'm so glad that she had her camera on hand because she took what I consider to be a wonderful picture of us.

Thanks for sharing the pic Lori!

Celebrating 6

Gee. I just realized that it's been a while since I posted! Bad me! Anyway, life is crazy as always. I've been reading everyone's blogs but haven't wanted to post without pictures. I decided to post minus the pics. They'll be coming. Soon.

This past Sunday was Erin's 6th birthday party. We held it at American Twisters & including Erin there were 32 children in attendance. Not too bad, right? Ha! Then you have all the parents that attend. That means a total of almost 80 people.

Erin had a total blast! We couldn't have wished her to have a better time. She picked out the theme Tinkerbell & the cake - Tinkerbell white cake with custard filling. She wore her Tinkerbell t-shirt & hat. Are we sensing a common theme here? The funny thing is that she wasn't into Tinkerbell until the end of the school year.

Now I happen to love organizing parties. I'm pretty good at it, & can usually get it all finished 2 weeks before the actual party. This time I wasn't totally finished till the day before. Then there were the RSVPs. Those who said "yes" but couldn't make it at the last minute. And, of course, those who showed up without ever calling to say anything. This year I had personalized keepsake boxes so I really stressed out when a mother showed up with her twins but never called me. And let's not forget the family who told someone else that they'd see her at Erin's party but, again, didn't call me. I can't really fault them. They've only been in the US for 3 years, & aren't comfortable with English. They really are a lovely family. ARGH!!!

Either way, it was a totally great day for Erin. She came home to open her presents & had just as much fun with that part of the day. She even helped clean up!

The night before the party, Erin had an online birthday party with her friend Kerri. Kerri & her family live in Canda so we knew she wouldn't be there. Her parents & I wanted the girls to have fun & celebrate. We all went & got cupcakes so they could have cake together & Erin could open her presents from Canada. Such fun!

Yesterday was the big day! Erin turned 6. She woke up in a great mood & couldn't get into our bed fast enough for morning snuggles. During camp they went to a place called Jumpers & had black & white cookies as a special treat. For dinner Erin decided that she wanted her sushi so we ordered in & got her a shrimp tempura roll. Then she passed out & fell asleep. Yay for us!

And so my girl is now 6. I can't believe how blessed we've been. Thank you G-d above for this miracle child!

Morning Phone Calls Suck!

When my home phone rings before 8:00 am, it's never good news. Whether it's David or a family member or a co-worker, I know that it can't be good. After all, who calls before 8:00 am to say have a great day when they know you're getting ready to leave for work?

Today's call came from my sister-in-law Sandra. Gotta love Caller ID. I answer "What's wrong?" and she says "Everything's okay. Calm down." Ha! Who is she kidding? She never calls to say hi - at least not in the morning.

My mother-in-law is (no surprise for those of you who know David) a stubborn woman with a will of iron. She hasn't been well for a while now but we all deal with it. After all, she's going to be 82 in November. It seems that her stomach has really been bothering her the last 5 days or so. My father-in-law took her to the doctor who did a workup. The results came back normal but something isn't right because she's really in pain. She was sent to the hospital where they did a ton of testing - last night.

We were told that my mother-in-law needs surgery. The problem? At 81, she really isn't in the best of health. If she truly has to have it, we're not even sure she'll come out of it & be much better. Needless to say, we're all a touch stressed out. David left work early to go up & visit with his mother. When he left, he called me to tell me that she's in better spirits than he was told but she isn't happy with the thought of surgery. And best of all? The results of today's testing indicate everything is normal. HUH???? And now we wait for more info to come our way.

I was right. Morning phone calls suck.

Happy Father's Day!!

David is not only a great husband & friend, but he is also an amazing daddy. From the man who once told me he wasn't sure about having kids, he has become SUPER DADDY!!!

When we got off the plane in China, David was still unsure about becoming a dady. When I handed Erin to him the first time, he melted. Just the other day, he told me that fatherhood was so great. He is sure that he didn't want children until he did because then we wouldn't have Erin. I've tried telling him that he always had it in him to be a good father. I think that he finally gets it. When Erin looks at him, with total adoration on her face, he is always surprised that it's for him. But he really is great. David has opened Erin's eyes to so many cool hobbies & experiences. She loves many of the things he loves - astronomy (okay so she calls it looking at sparklies & fuzzies), radio control, building models.

And they really love each other so whole heartedly. I couldn't be prouder of the 2 loves of my life.

Enjoy your very special day my love! You deserve it.

Official for 5 Years

Erin - May 2008

Erin's Referral Pic - January 2003

I've been writing all about the days leading up to Gotcha Day & can't leave out Forever Family Day. What's that? That is the day that the adoption is finalized in China.

Don't ask me what the times were. I couldn't tell you. I don't remember. And I don't care. Because they really don't matter. What does matter? The fact that on June 3, 2003 China officially recognized that Chun HuaXu was now Erin Chelsie.

When we got to the police station, our guide Cindy showed us where to go, where to sit, what to do. We were going to get all of the paperwork notarized, completed. On the Sunday before Gotcha Day, the parents went down to Cindy's room to complete the paperwork we would need to accept the children. When I looked at Erin's pictures, I got very upset. In fact, I think I may have screamed that this wasn't my daughter. David got terrified & looked at the pictures & also wasn't sure. All the parents in the room looked at their daughter's pictures & all was fine for them. Apparently Erin had done a lot of changing from the time her referral picture was taken (January 2003) until the date her picture was taken for the Letter of Acceptance (May 2003). Oops. I felt like the behind of a donkey. Anyway, apparently the police officer who was assisting David & me was also unsure. He looked at the referral day pics, the Letter of Acceptance pic & the baby in my arms & started to question everything. I was dying inside. Were they going to take my daughter from me!? There was no way I was going to let that happen. And neither was Cindy! She started to yell at the police officer that everything was okay, & it was the same baby. He signed off on the paperwork.

We went back to the Guangdong Provincial Civil Affairs Building to finalize the paperwork, give the donations to the orphanage directors & give the officials their gifts.

When we got back to the hotel, I called my father. "Daddy, she's ours officially now. No one can take her from me." My dad & I were crying.

And here we are 5 years later. Erin graduates from kindergarten Thursday night. I continue to be awed by the child that is my daughter.

Gotcha Day #5

Today is the day! It's Gotcha Day 5 years later & I just can't believe that life was any better than it is right this very minute.

David & I were so nervous about the actual moment. How would we feel? How would we react? How would that sweet little baby react? After all, we looked different, smelled different & sounded different.

Our guide, Cindy got all of the families together early enough so that we could have the special honor & joy of waiting in a room filled with 15 families waiting to be united with their children. A room with not one drop of air conditioning. Not a hint of a breeze. Even I got hot waiting! All of the families walked around the room nervous as can be. I even have a picture of Gary Ranly showing us his watch. I was snapping pics of everyone just waiting.

Art & Susan asked David & me to make sure that we took pics & videod the moment when Julianna was placed in their arms. Duh! Like I would miss out on that moment. I have a video taped segment of Art telling us "no more, we're done." (I knew that was not true.) Susan turned around to address David Scott so of course I addressed Arthur John. Who remembers why? Who cares?

All I know is that when the babies finally came in, the 6 Yangchun families were told there would be a delay. The director with the nannies & babies were facing a traffic jam or some such thing. ARGH!!! I didn't want to wait anymore. I wanted Erin in my arms NOW.

As the babies were brought into the room, I took pictures of the families being joined with their daughters. I knew that as soon as I could I would develop the pics in doubles so I could share that special moment with the families. I had a blast doing it. Those pictures sit in my photo album, & I remember each parent & the look of joy on their faces.

Finally!! The Yangchun babies arrived!! Susan was looking out the door & screamed (in an ever so ladylike tone - not) that they were here. I got my camera ready since I didn't know the order that the babies would be united with the families. As I was snapping away, Mrs. Yu called out "Hersh," & I missed it. David yelled at me to "put the damn camera down" so I could take our daughter in my arms. Thanks for getting that moment Susan!

Tears streaming down my face. My heart exploding with joy. Finally, after all the years of wanting to be a mother, I was holding OUR BABY. I was so humbled by the beauty that was my daughter. Erin just looked at me. No tears. No screaming. She just came right to me. In an outfit straight from Target??? David was looking at me holding our daughter, & never had I seen such a look of total love as I did at that moment. And then I placed Erin in his arms. And he became a daddy. All the years of not wanting to be a father, all the uncertainties of how he could possibly be a good father. They just melted away when he looked into her face.

When we got back to the White Swan, we called our parents to let them know they were grandparents. David spoke with his parents. For some reason I can't remember my in-laws reaction other than "congratulations." I know they were excited since they started us on this journey but can't recall more than that. I spoke with my dad. He & my stepmother were overjoyed. And then my dad told me how happy he was & how happy my mother would have been if she were still around.

David & I thank G-d each night before we go to sleep. We thank Him for placing this beautiful child into our lives & entrusting us with her. And we tell Erin each & every night how happy we are that we all adopted each other.

A Nice Relaxing Evening

Ah yes. I love Friday nights. We eat dinner as soon as I get home & then watch a movie of Erin's choice. It's a nice relaxing evening.

Today I was lucky & got out of the office at 5:00. I invited David & Erin to meet me at the office so we could go to Red Lobster for an early dinner. Erin loves Red Lobster & although she had a hard time with her behavior, I deserved a treat for my miserable week. She ate half of her popcorn shrimp & some french fries. We all left the restaurant, & David went to go shop for some stuff for Star. Erin & I went home with a quick stop at Publix to pick up dessert for the evening.

So now I sit here on the couch watching The Fabulous Thunderbirds, catching up on email & blogs. And listening to David & Erin snore.

Great night, huh?

Chanukah - Night 7, The Night for Building

Erin is a pro at unwrapping presents by now.

She loves to build things with David.

It seems that the old-fashioned Legos (read, those of my childhood) have been replaced by K'Nex. Erin is not a typical girly girl who plays only with her kitchen stuff, coloring books & dolls. She is also amazingly inquisitve & loves to learn how things work. Ever since she was a baby, she enjoyed building things. These K'Nex allow her to use her imagination in ways I would never have considered at the age of 5. I was too busy playing dolls.

Chanukah - Night 5 by Cousin Deena & Her Family

Baby & Erin Bear have to say the blessings too.

Cool! Another Leapster game, & it's more princesses!

Hello Kitty boombox. You think Erin's going to have fun with this?

She flipped when she saw the guitar.

My niece Deena & her family insist upon spoiling Erin. As a child, Deena only wanted David & me to give her tons of cousins to play with. She takes great pleasure in spoiling her little cousin as much as possible. Thanks Deena, Brad, Noah & Riley!

Chanukah - The First Night

Erin made the menorah we're using in school this year.

Not quite awake yet. She wasn't really ready for candle lighting & presents. It didn't take long though!


Scissors!? To open a present!? Huh??

She's awake now & loves tonight's present.

Erin's been begging to get aquadots since they came out. She's well aware of the rules she has to follow if she wants to keep using this. It was so worth her smile to give her this present tonight.

I've always wanted to have something like a Christmas village. I finally found Chanukah House! Ebay is my friend. :-)

Great Harry

Last night as Erin & I went to bed, she asked what we would be doing tomorrow. I told her that we would be doing tons of fun stuff but first we need to go to Great Grandpa Harry's apartment to take home the things we want to keep as memories.

Lately when I talk about my grandfather, she refers to him as "Great Harry." Erin decided that she wanted another explanation of who Great Harry was. I reminded her that Zaydie is my daddy. Then I explained that Great Harry was Zaydie's daddy so he's my Zaydie. Then she said "So Great Harry is Great Zaydie?" Wow! Leave it to my girl to think of it in those terms!

Since we've been talking a lot about my grandfather lately, he's been a topic of interest for Erin. I asked Erin what she wants to call him since Great Grandpa Harry is a mouthful. She's decided to keep referring to him as "Great Harry."

The fact is that my grandfather was not the grandfather that we all want to have. His life was hard, & he was a hard parent & grandfather to have.

When I told him that we were adopting a child from China, his only question - amazingly enough - was would she be Jewish. Had he not been so ill at the time, he never would have asked that question since I'm the most observant of his grandchildren - not that I'm so religious, but it matters to me. David & I really expected a battle from him.

When Erin came from China, he didn't get to see too much of her. I was concerned that he'd say something nasty, & I knew that I wouldn't hold back. The few times that he did see her, he would have to be reminded that she was his great granddaughter because he had a hard time recognizing people he didn't know well. Not once did my grandfather say anything wrong to her or even me which was a shock.

My grandfather died Christmas Eve 2004 with my dad by his side. The following morning I flew to NY for his funeral. It has been the only week in Erin's life that we've been seperated since her adoption.

Even though Erin didn't know Great Harry, he's still a presence in our life.