What would Joe/Jane Average American have to say about this?

If anyone knows ANYONE that can help this family, please forward this story on.

http://jayscruggs.livejournal.com/

The video, in two parts, is on YouTube.com

Part 1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G1FCAhL-WA

Part 2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkldZTw5f9g

What this family is going through is beyond disgraceful! If you know anyone who can help the Scruggs family, PLEASE pass this on. I personally am unable to watch the video clips. They would rip me & my heart into pieces. The average American person who is untouched by adoption probably has no idea what is happening. What would they say if they knew?

FACE Act of 2009 Petition

Most countries recognize internationally adopted children as citizens upon the finalization of their adoption. The USA does not. The Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act (FACE Act) would recognize that internationally adopted children deserve to be treated as children of American citizens and accorded the same citizenship process as children born abroad to American citizens. PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION!

FACE Act of 2009 Petition

Shared via AddThis

If you read my blog & aren't part of the adoption community, I hope that you will consider reading the FACE Act & signing the petition.

I Hate Diabetes!!

Blogging has been a challenge lately. You put so much of yourself into a post but don't want to put your entire life "out there" for the world to see. I try to be positive most of the time, but lately I'm having a tough time. So much is going on between my life & my friends & family - all hard stuff.

David is diabetic but a very well-controlled diabetic. His numbers are amazingly good. He indulges but is careful. Of course it helps that I hound him when I think he's going overboard. Rather than get angry, he lets me know where his numbers are & what he's doing. We tend to have pretty good communication about this issue.

So what's the problem if he's controlled? Well, diabetic neuropathy. It has made life a living hell. David was officially diagnosed as a diabetic after we came home from China. The neuropathy diagnosis came along about 2 years ago & the onset has been amazingly fast. I neither can nor do I want do go into what it's like for him to live in constant horrific pain.

As long as I know David, he's always been a sweater. (Yuck! I hate sweat.) It has gotten so much worse since the neuropathy. He has to wear fentanyl patches for the pain but they come off when he sweats. Insurance covers the cost of 30 days worth of patches. Sounds great, but when you sweat them off, you run short. And then you have to pay for them out of pocket. We have spent anywhere from $300 up to needing to replace a whole month's supply at $1500. You can't just go without the patches either. The pain is excruciating. There is so much more to this

The docs have come up with a plan to help us out though. This past Friday, David was given shots of botox (yes, you read correctly). Botox is supposed to help with hyper hydrosis (a/k/a super sweating). Oh. And insurance does have a code but the dr's office refused to use it. Another $1,000 out of pocket. OTOH, the shots have worked. So far.

If you read this David, I hope you don't mind. I've really been needing to get this crap off my chest. I honestly hope this works - for all of us. Erin doesn't really know of life without diabetes & having to see her daddy when he's in pain just plain ole sucks. It isn't any better for me either.

Problem? What Problem?

The state of education is really pissing me off.

My stepmother has been teaching for 30 years. This week she told me that all of the staff in her school district will be receiving a notice of layoff within the next month. WHAT!?!? Everyone??? Her school district in CA doesn't have enough money left in the budget to pay anyone. How the hell can that happen!?

What will happen to the children? How do they get an education without teachers? According to Nancy the long-term teachers probably won't lose their jobs but classes will be getting considerably bigger. So much for the low teacher/student ration.

What will happen to the people who depend on the income from these jobs? I can't imagine. Oh, and by the way, once these people have their jobs eliminated or they retire, they also lose their medical benefits up to & including prescription coverage. Nice? I think not.

Do we have problems? With what? I don't see any problems. Wanna guess who believes that line of horse hockey? Ugh!

Hey! Stop Movin' My Cheese!

Sometimes life throws things in your path to see how you adjust. That is exactly what's happened to me.

I work for a bank. Not just any bank, but a bank that has been in the news. I started out in March 1996 as a brand new employee of First Union. It was my birthday present to David. I had been out of banking for a year & was totally miserable. Even though I had management experience, I wanted to take it easy & start over. After working there for about 3 months, I got bored & started training to be a customer service rep. I did the entire program in 3 months which shocked everyone. When I decide to make a move, that's it, watch out. In late 1999 I made a career change but stayed with the bank. I can't tell you how lucky I am. Even though I bitch & moan at times, I really do love what I do. I enjoy being able to help people & guide them.

Sometime in 2001, First Union merged with Wachovia Bank. I was so afraid but did my best to hide it. Right after the merger, I was asked to temporarily transfer to another office & guide the employees through the merger. It took me a few weeks, but I finally realized that while I, as a First Union employee, was losing my identity because of the name change, they were losing an operating system & in many cases their home since offices were closing to consolidate. This realization made me more sensitive to why the people in that office were so resentful of me coming in. In the last few years, Wachovia has gone on to merge with other banks. I have tried to remember what I learned during the First Union - Wachovia merger each time.

Now it's my turn. Over the last few months the banking industry has been facing challenges that I have never seen in my 21 years as a banker. Wachovia has been facing some amazing challenges during this time. Clients everywhere have been worried. Employees have been worried. Monday morning the news hit. Wachovia has been acquired by CitiBank.

What does this mean? Nothing really at this point. It's business as usual. So why are people coming into our offices & being so mean? The bank DID NOT FAIL. It was acquired. That means it was a merger. The news has been crazy so people have been crazy. For me the stress has been way overboard. I spent a good amount of time Monday crying whenever I was alone. I have been off from work since late Monday for the Rosh HaShanah holiday. During this time off I've been contemplating what it all means to me. Hopefully, when I get back to work tomorrow, things will have calmed down some.

So. Yes. My cheese has been moved. Once again. Now I just have to follow it or even better anticipate where it will be moved to next time.

Lori,

Thanks for reminding me that this is only a moment in time.

Spitting Nails

Right now I'm so pissed off that I could spit nails! I don't even know where the heck to begin so I'll try to do this bullet style.

• Why did I have to buy over $100 worth of school supplies for Erin? Will she actually use 9 yellow folders, 1 blue folder, 1 1-inch binder, 1 marble composition book, 5 yellow wide-ruled spiral bound notebooks, a pack of 48 crayons, 1 pack of dry erase markers, 1 pack of sharpie markers, 1 pack of copy paper, 1 pack of erasers & all the other crap I had to buy!! Impossible! So far when she's come home with homework, I've wondered why the teacher didn't send home any of the pencils, crayons, notebooks or paper that she will need to complete the assignment. How the heck can a child learn to write properly if you don't give him/her ruled paper!? Why would you assume that after going to 2 different stores & spending over $100 that I have any of those same supplies in my house!? I sent them in to school!!! SO WHERE ARE THE SUPPLIES??? Who is using them?? Certainly not Erin.
• I have Erin enrolled in Hebrew school at the synagogue that we belong to rather than the one at which I have taught for the last 17 years. Why? Because she shouldn't be in my classroom, & the other 1st grade teacher has a tendency to spoil Erin. David went to the Open House for Erin's Sunday school class. On the way home from my own teaching, I called to see how things went. He warned me. He told me I wasn't going to like it. Then he made me wait the entire half hour till I got home to discuss things with me. Why is my daughter using a book that teaches letter recognition that is just plain ole wrong!? How can I say this? Easily. I've taught 1st grade Sunday school since 1989. I know what I'm talking about here. Hebrew letters are NOT the same as English letters. They may make the same sound, but there is no comparison beyond that. Her books teach that there is a comparison. And because, the director of the school knows me, I have to tread lightly. I don't tread lightly well. I kind of do a stampede when I'm in this mood.
• After not being sure of whether or not I should continue teaching on Sundays, I went back. My director & I had a long talk. We came to a point where we both got what we wanted. Cool. Great. Couldn't be happier about it. On top of that, I've got a class this year that I'm so happy with I can't wait to go in & teach. My co-teacher has a habit of walking in while I'm in the middle of a lesson to ask me stuff. You know. Where am I in the lesson? Will I be doing all the work in class or sending some home? If she doesn't come in, she'll send her student aid. I constantly have to remind her that I'm in the middle of a lesson & we can talk after class ends. I have never liked being interrupted. Ask David. He'll tell you that interrupting me can be taking your life in your hands. I consider it the ultimate in rudeness. In this case, I loose my class because now they're distracted. I have to be almost pissy with the other teacher who is a very dear woman.
• On top of all that, I can't sleep. David passed out over 2 hours ago. Erin went in without a fight for the 2nd night in a row about 8:00. And, me? I can't fall asleep for nuthin'!

Oh Where Oh Where . . .

. . . has my Cingular gone! I'm a very loyal person. Whether you're my friend or a company I do business with, I tend to stick with you. Unless you tick me off that is. I guess it was this past year that Cingular Wireless merged into AT&T Wireless. Now I know that there are people out there who just adore AT&T, but I am NOT one of them. Ever since the merger, I have more problems than I should. Their level of customer service sucks.

I have been on the phone with customer service since 8:00 pm (it is now 8:31 pm) trying to get help understanding my way overpriced bill. The young man who answered my call can't answer my questions, has no knowledge of the English language & grammar & can't understand why I've asked for a supervisor - not 1 time but 6 times. He thought it was enough to issue a credit so my bill wouldn't be sky high. He was a bit concerned that giving me a refund wasn't satisfying me. Do I want a refund? No. I want an explanation because a refund this month means a phone call next month in yet another attempt to understand my bill. Duh!

And now I've been disconnected at 8:36 pm. Here I go again! Let's see what happens next. And now that this is the 2nd time I've had to call, I plan on participating in their "customer service survey." Wanna guess how they rate in my book?

UPDATE!!!!

It is now 9:15 pm, & I have just gotten off of the phone after speaking with a lovely lady. She immediately understood what I was asking. Granted it took a while to figure out what happened on my bill, but it is done. Unfortunately, she did advise me that this will occur on my next bill but that I should call back, pray I get her (her words, not mine) & have the bill fixed one more time.

Am I a satisfied client? No.

Lessons Learned

I wonder who teaches children it's okay to be cruel. I wonder who teaches children that being mean is acceptable. And I wonder who takes the ultimate responsibility for all the negative crap that children are exposed to.

David & I are working very hard to ensure that Erin is a nice person. We definitely don't believe in original sin but know that children can say/do hurtful things. It's not always easy to do the right thing, & G-d knows that I certainly don't get there 100% of the time. I've always said that I'm not perfect nor do I want to be. However, when it comes to my daughter I try pretty darn hard.

Last night we had a situation with Erin that pretty much shocked me. David always puts Erin to bed. We have a routine that works quite well for us. Erin gives me night-night hugs, gets her pill & a drink, gives me another hug, asks me when I'm going to sleep, hugs me one more time & goes into her room for some time with Daddy. Last night David came storming out & told me that I needed to take care of Erin because he was too ticked. Since this has happened maybe 3 times in 4 years I asked him what happened.

WELL!!!! It seems that David was talking with Erin & told her that when she turns 6, she will have to start walking because we won't be carrying her anymore. He told her that this was happening because she's a big girl & getting bigger. Apparently, Erin took this very negatively & told David that he was "too darn fat." (Yes. You can pick your jaw up off the floor. She truly did.)

When I went into her room to chat, she was already hysterical because she knew that she had done bad. The usual response is that Erin will tell you she doesn't know why she said what she said. I explained to her that we cannot say things that are hurtful or rude because we don't want to give someone a sad heart & make them cry. Lately, I've had to remind her that there is NOTHING she can do that will make us stop loving her, send her back to China or leave her alone. I reminded her that we want to be her mommy & daddy & even flew all the way to China so we could have that job. Since Erin is in Hebrew School Sunday mornings, I know that my friend Karen is teaching the class all about mitzvot (G-d's commandments). I asked Erin if Miss Karen had taught about mitzvot yet (knowing full well that it's an integral part of the curriculum) & she said yes. I asked her if what she said to her daddy was doing a mitzvah or not. Needless to say, she knew the answer.

I told her that she was right. Daddy & I are fat. However, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone. When we finished our conversation, Erin went out to David & told him that she was sorry she made his heart sad.

She seems to understand what I was saying & was quite upset over having hurt her daddy's feelings. Hopefully, we won't have this chat again soon.

AARRGGHHHH!!!

I'm at my wits end. Frustration has taken a firm grip of me. There is almost nothing left. I am waiting for February 16th with such anticipation. Why? Erin & I go to Spring Hill for our annual visit with our friends for Chinese New Year.

This week is going to be a tough one. This is the week of the bank merger. I volunteered to be on the merger readiness team for our buddy branch. Those women are going to do really well. They're just waiting for it to finally be done so they can actually put into use everything they've been practicing for the last 6 months. I was so nervous last night. All I wanted was for them to feel comfortable. I remember how nervous I was during the merger where I had to learn tons of new stuff. And now I have to learn new things too that just don't make sense to me. I'm a logical person (okay, so I try to be one) & what I need to learn isn't sinking in. I only have till Friday morning to absorb it all. Can it be done? Yes. Not without me losing some hair though.

Then I'm having problems at my 2nd job. I don't even know where to begin on this one. Enough said that I won't be going back. My love for teaching & my love for the children can't overcome the extreme BS that I have to deal with. I truly feel that I'll be losing a part of my soul, but I can't keep going back & feeling like I'm losing "me."

My local FCC group is having our annual Chinese New Year event. We go down to Miami Beach to this wonderful restaurant. The food is yummy, & there's a lion dance. Why aren't we going? Well, this is a crazy week for us. And the lion dancers terrify Erin. I really hate to miss out on it, & the promise of seeing her friends isn't even working. I hate seeing Erin so afraid. Yup. That's more hair coming out.

My upcoming trip to Spring Hill is twofold. I get to spend time with my dear friends Susan & Art while Erin gets to spend time with their daughters who treat her like another sister. Susan & I will relax & sit around drinking our chai lattes or coffees, Art will go to work, the girls will play. That's all after the big Chinese New Year luncheon where I will have to miss yet another lion dance. Erin is so terrified that she actually begged me to leave her here with David. Well, that just isn't happening. She will go with me, & we will miss the dance. AARRGGGHHH!!!!

When is February 16th? I can't wait to get on that plane. Maybe then I can stop pulling out my hair.

Not Giving Them One More Penny!

My friend Sandra & I have never met in person, but through the journey of adoption, we have become very close. Over the last 5 (almost 6) years, we have kept in touch & discovered that we share many things in common.

Each day I look forward to coming home from work, spending time with Erin & David & after Erin's bedtime, reading my favorite blogs. Sandra's is one of the first blogs I read. I have to get my daily dose. After all, Jazzie & Erin are both Waiting Hearts children, & Tahlia is from the same SWI that Erin is from. (Lots of red threads pulling us closer.)

As usual, I woke up very early this morning & just had to get my fix since I haven't been online in a few days. Sandra is involved in the deaf community because Jazzie is deaf. BTW, have I mentioned that you need to go read her blog? She's an amazing advocate for the CI (cochlear implant). One of Sandra's who is deaf had a horrible experience at a Steak & Shake. You can read all about Karen's experience on her own blog.

All I can say is that Steak & Shake won't have me adding to their coffers any longer. I am horrified by how Karen was treated.