I Made It

I got through yesterday & not too badly if I do say so myself. May 7th is my mother's birthday, & yesterday she would have been 70 years old. I can't really imagine that. In fact, when I think of what my mom looked like, I remember her from the Mother's Day before she died. I have a picture of her with my brother Seth & me. That is how I see her in my mind's eye. That is when I can picture her alive. It's hard because my last memory of her is from when the paramedics took her out of our house to bring her to the hospital.

Yesterday, I had a migraine. I usually feel sick on my mom's birthday. I guess it's the stress of the day & missing her. I did my best to focus on the day & ignore her birthday. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I tried to be stress-free. And to some degree, it worked.

Happy birthday Mommy! I miss you & I love you.

Hey! Stop Movin' My Cheese!

Sometimes life throws things in your path to see how you adjust. That is exactly what's happened to me.

I work for a bank. Not just any bank, but a bank that has been in the news. I started out in March 1996 as a brand new employee of First Union. It was my birthday present to David. I had been out of banking for a year & was totally miserable. Even though I had management experience, I wanted to take it easy & start over. After working there for about 3 months, I got bored & started training to be a customer service rep. I did the entire program in 3 months which shocked everyone. When I decide to make a move, that's it, watch out. In late 1999 I made a career change but stayed with the bank. I can't tell you how lucky I am. Even though I bitch & moan at times, I really do love what I do. I enjoy being able to help people & guide them.

Sometime in 2001, First Union merged with Wachovia Bank. I was so afraid but did my best to hide it. Right after the merger, I was asked to temporarily transfer to another office & guide the employees through the merger. It took me a few weeks, but I finally realized that while I, as a First Union employee, was losing my identity because of the name change, they were losing an operating system & in many cases their home since offices were closing to consolidate. This realization made me more sensitive to why the people in that office were so resentful of me coming in. In the last few years, Wachovia has gone on to merge with other banks. I have tried to remember what I learned during the First Union - Wachovia merger each time.

Now it's my turn. Over the last few months the banking industry has been facing challenges that I have never seen in my 21 years as a banker. Wachovia has been facing some amazing challenges during this time. Clients everywhere have been worried. Employees have been worried. Monday morning the news hit. Wachovia has been acquired by CitiBank.

What does this mean? Nothing really at this point. It's business as usual. So why are people coming into our offices & being so mean? The bank DID NOT FAIL. It was acquired. That means it was a merger. The news has been crazy so people have been crazy. For me the stress has been way overboard. I spent a good amount of time Monday crying whenever I was alone. I have been off from work since late Monday for the Rosh HaShanah holiday. During this time off I've been contemplating what it all means to me. Hopefully, when I get back to work tomorrow, things will have calmed down some.

So. Yes. My cheese has been moved. Once again. Now I just have to follow it or even better anticipate where it will be moved to next time.

Lori,

Thanks for reminding me that this is only a moment in time.

Ugh. What a Weekend.

This past weekend was a bust. Pfffttt! Just like that.

I had such a nice vacation but last week was really hard on me. I guess traveling for 2 weeks really took its toll on me. When Erin & I travel we usually go without David since he totally hates going away. Of course, Erin hates being separated from either one of us so this makes things harder on me. She does great during the day but will cry herself to sleep at night. "I want Dada." "I want to sleep in my own bed." (Read: I want to sleep in bed with both you & Dada.) "I not tired." You get the picture. And she never sleeps through the night. Which means that I get no rest.

Well last week was time to get back to reality & return to work. Because I was gone for 2 weeks, I had tons of work & email to go through. Yay. I fell asleep by 7:30 each night last week. By the time Friday came, I felt awful - tired, cranky, not willing to be happy with anyone or anything. I spent the entire weekend feeling out of sorts. Thankfully, David put up with me & my garbage. He let me sleep on & off all weekend & let me pass on all of my usual chores. By Monday night, I was back to myself. And my hubby being who he is just let me be grumpy the entire time.

Thanks Sweetie!

To All You Lurkers!

and I do know who some of you are! Come out! Come out wherever you are!

We who blog really want to know what you think. Please do leave comments for us. Many of us are going to publish our blogs in the future for our children. It would be nice if your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc. knew that you took the time to stop by & also what you had to say.

Lessons Learned

I wonder who teaches children it's okay to be cruel. I wonder who teaches children that being mean is acceptable. And I wonder who takes the ultimate responsibility for all the negative crap that children are exposed to.

David & I are working very hard to ensure that Erin is a nice person. We definitely don't believe in original sin but know that children can say/do hurtful things. It's not always easy to do the right thing, & G-d knows that I certainly don't get there 100% of the time. I've always said that I'm not perfect nor do I want to be. However, when it comes to my daughter I try pretty darn hard.

Last night we had a situation with Erin that pretty much shocked me. David always puts Erin to bed. We have a routine that works quite well for us. Erin gives me night-night hugs, gets her pill & a drink, gives me another hug, asks me when I'm going to sleep, hugs me one more time & goes into her room for some time with Daddy. Last night David came storming out & told me that I needed to take care of Erin because he was too ticked. Since this has happened maybe 3 times in 4 years I asked him what happened.

WELL!!!! It seems that David was talking with Erin & told her that when she turns 6, she will have to start walking because we won't be carrying her anymore. He told her that this was happening because she's a big girl & getting bigger. Apparently, Erin took this very negatively & told David that he was "too darn fat." (Yes. You can pick your jaw up off the floor. She truly did.)

When I went into her room to chat, she was already hysterical because she knew that she had done bad. The usual response is that Erin will tell you she doesn't know why she said what she said. I explained to her that we cannot say things that are hurtful or rude because we don't want to give someone a sad heart & make them cry. Lately, I've had to remind her that there is NOTHING she can do that will make us stop loving her, send her back to China or leave her alone. I reminded her that we want to be her mommy & daddy & even flew all the way to China so we could have that job. Since Erin is in Hebrew School Sunday mornings, I know that my friend Karen is teaching the class all about mitzvot (G-d's commandments). I asked Erin if Miss Karen had taught about mitzvot yet (knowing full well that it's an integral part of the curriculum) & she said yes. I asked her if what she said to her daddy was doing a mitzvah or not. Needless to say, she knew the answer.

I told her that she was right. Daddy & I are fat. However, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone. When we finished our conversation, Erin went out to David & told him that she was sorry she made his heart sad.

She seems to understand what I was saying & was quite upset over having hurt her daddy's feelings. Hopefully, we won't have this chat again soon.

Stress? What stress?

I am so thankful. Most of the things stressing me out are either completed or on their way to completion.

The bank merger is complete. Now all we have to do is welcome our new clients & get them used to the new way of doing things. And let's face it. That in & of itself is stressful. People don't like change. I have a feeling that it won't be as hard this time as it was on the last go around.

My second job now worries me no more. My decision is done. Finished. Completed. At the end of the school year, I am out of there. I will miss it, but I will be saner. For the first time in over 20 years, I will have my Sunday mornings to myself - oh, & David too. I will get to be one of those mothers who drop their child off at school & go for coffee or work in the school as a volunteer. I've waited a lifetime for this, & next year is my turn. Yay!

Now if I could only start sleeping through the night. This blogging at 4:00 am is for the birds. I guess I still have some things on my mind. Like getting on a plane this coming Saturday for Erin & my vacation. I hate flying. Uh oh. I see I've found something else to stress about. Go figure. I can't have it easy, can I?

AARRGGHHHH!!!

I'm at my wits end. Frustration has taken a firm grip of me. There is almost nothing left. I am waiting for February 16th with such anticipation. Why? Erin & I go to Spring Hill for our annual visit with our friends for Chinese New Year.

This week is going to be a tough one. This is the week of the bank merger. I volunteered to be on the merger readiness team for our buddy branch. Those women are going to do really well. They're just waiting for it to finally be done so they can actually put into use everything they've been practicing for the last 6 months. I was so nervous last night. All I wanted was for them to feel comfortable. I remember how nervous I was during the merger where I had to learn tons of new stuff. And now I have to learn new things too that just don't make sense to me. I'm a logical person (okay, so I try to be one) & what I need to learn isn't sinking in. I only have till Friday morning to absorb it all. Can it be done? Yes. Not without me losing some hair though.

Then I'm having problems at my 2nd job. I don't even know where to begin on this one. Enough said that I won't be going back. My love for teaching & my love for the children can't overcome the extreme BS that I have to deal with. I truly feel that I'll be losing a part of my soul, but I can't keep going back & feeling like I'm losing "me."

My local FCC group is having our annual Chinese New Year event. We go down to Miami Beach to this wonderful restaurant. The food is yummy, & there's a lion dance. Why aren't we going? Well, this is a crazy week for us. And the lion dancers terrify Erin. I really hate to miss out on it, & the promise of seeing her friends isn't even working. I hate seeing Erin so afraid. Yup. That's more hair coming out.

My upcoming trip to Spring Hill is twofold. I get to spend time with my dear friends Susan & Art while Erin gets to spend time with their daughters who treat her like another sister. Susan & I will relax & sit around drinking our chai lattes or coffees, Art will go to work, the girls will play. That's all after the big Chinese New Year luncheon where I will have to miss yet another lion dance. Erin is so terrified that she actually begged me to leave her here with David. Well, that just isn't happening. She will go with me, & we will miss the dance. AARRGGGHHH!!!!

When is February 16th? I can't wait to get on that plane. Maybe then I can stop pulling out my hair.

Rambling

Well it's 6:10 am, & I've been up for at least an hour. I don't know how I did it, but the cat & the dog have left me alone, Erin hasn't woken up to come for cuddles & David is in the shower. Apparently this is what I have to do to get some peace & quiet. The only problem is that I'm going to need some sleep by about 11:00 am. Oh well. There IS a coffee pot at the office, & they all know not to touch it till I've made the first pot. I don't drink anyone else's coffee since they all make coffee that is just brown water. I know that Sandra gets this since we both share an obsession with Starbucks coffee.

Ah yes. Here comes Erin. It seems that woke up in a great mood. Yay for me! Actually she even woke up in a good mood.

Guess I better go now. Life starts early in my household. Thank G-d for that!

Out With the Old & In With the New!!

Today begins the New Year, & there is so much to look forward to. I don't believe in making resolutions. I did that in earlier years & was always disappointed when I failed. Rather than set myself up to fail, I prefer to set myself up to succeed. Someone asked me how I can succeed if I don't set up goals. Easy. I take life one day at a time as much as possible considering I'm a totally stressed out person.

I woke up this morning - the 1st day of the new year pretty early. As usual, I logged on to my computer (actually the laptop since my computer crashed this past weekend & I'm waiting for my new computer to arrive) to see what happened in the world with my friends & family. It was a quiet time for me - until 7:30 when Erin wandered out of her bedroom that is.

Once David woke up we had a nice quiet family breakfast & spent the morning relaxing. Later in the morning we went out shopping & then to lunch. Once we came home, I decided that more relaxation was in order. David & Erin went off to play with her Hot Wheels & the new track we bought for her. Afterwards, Erin & I sat down to do some scrapping. This was the first time that Erin actually put one together. Of course, being 5 years old, scrapping didn't hold her attention for too long. After all, what is scrapping compared to Hot Wheels!?

Now we're just sitting around relaxing before the real world comes crashing down around our heads tomorrow.

It's Gone

In 2002, a co-worker that I adored was diagnosed with brain cancer. The day I was told about Mike's diagnosis, I was totally devastated. Mike had a heck of a sense of humor & the kindest of hearts. He was someone who would have a problem with being bald from all the chemo treatments & get depressed. I decided at that moment, that since I was blessed with a full head of thick, healthy hair that would always grow back, I would help someone who wasn't able to keep their hair. Someone had told me about Locks of Love, & I decided that this was the perfect way for me to help.

Mike passed away a few weeks after David & I came home from China with Erin. There was no way for me to go to his funeral with a 10 month old baby. I decided that this would be the day for me to donate my hair. I went to a local hair salon & donated 11 inches in Mike's memory. I was crying as my hair was being cut off, the hair stylist asked me if I was sure that I wanted to donate my hair. Yes. I was definitely sure.

Here we are at the end of 2007, & I was able to donate another 12 inches yesterday. David hates it when I cut off my hair. His consolation is that my hair grows quickly. He also knows how important donating my hair is & encourages me to do this.

Introducing "Troi"

On Monday Erin went into work with David since he only had a half day. After work they went over to a cat adoption place by his office. We'd all been miserable since losing Kira on Saturday. Both sides of our family aren't known for doing well without pets to complete our families so it was no surprise that we needed to start healing ASAP. They took pictures of a number of cats so I could make a choice since the cat would be mine. (BTW, the husband, the child, the dog, the cat, the fish - they're all mine. They just don't admit to it.) Looking at the pics of all the cats & kittens, I was totally drawn to this one kitten that reminded me of Kira. Her markings are very similar except that Kira was orange where this one is black. Her ears & eyes are huge too. I told David that I wanted to see this kitten so we went over yesterday. After much determination, my instincts drew me to this same kitten that I'd seen pics of. She came right over to me, lay in my arms & started purring. YES! We have a taker!

When we got home with the newly named "Deanna Troi" to be known as "Troi," our dog Star went wonky. She'd been missing her kitty too. Star knew that this was a different cat but didn't care & wanted to play almost immediately. We introduced Troy to Star very carefully not knowing what the reaction would be. About 5 minutes later, Troy took off as if she'd been in our home forever.

Maybe she has. It seems like she's channeling Kira. She slept in bed with us for most of last night although I'm happy to report that she slept by my feet rather than my head. She sits on my lap, lays across the laptop purring & wants my attention 100% of the time. Much like Kira used to. Who knows?

Goodbye Sweet Kira. We Will Miss You.

Kira Narice (July 1998 - December 2007)

Today we had to put our sweet kitty cat to sleep. Kira had been off her game for about 2-3 weeks lately, & we thought it was just old age. This week I noticed that she really hadn't eaten anything. The cat that normally invaded our every waking moment was nowhere to be seen. Kira used to sleep in bed with us - either by my feet or more likely on my head, but lately she was a nighttime no show. She'd come sit on my lap while we were watching tv. In the last few weeks she didn't do anything like that.

David & Erin took her to the vet for a checkup. (I had to go to work today.) After all, you know when your pet (who is really another family member) isn't right. Even the vet said that Kira didn't appear to be herself. David left Kira at the vet so they could run some tests. I got a phone call that Kira wasn't doing well so I called David.

He picked me up from work & we drove down to see Kira & say our final goodbyes as we had a sense that she wasn't going to turn around. David had spoken with Erin about Kira being sick & that she was going to Heaven. He did an awesome job with explaining this to Erin. After all was said & done, we each said our goodbyes with heavy hearts & tears.

I know that my sweet kitty is "up there" playing with my dad's dog Henry & our first dog Sari. It gives me comfort to know that Kira is in no pain & certainly more comfortable than she was in the last day or so.

Erin keeps saying "I miss my kitty. I'm thinking about her."

Mommy & Daddy are too.

When are you going to bed?

For some reason Erin asks this question night after night after night. In fact, she has been asking this since she has been old enough to know that things happen after she goes to bed.

My usual answers have been:

• When I'm tired.
• Later.
• In a while.
• I'm not.
• In an hour.

Last night I tried a different approach. After being called into her room for what felt like the millionth time, I changed my answer: "When you go to sleep. After all, if you keep calling me, I can't go to bed." 10 minutes later Erin was snoring lightly in her bed.

David put her to bed about an hour ago. She asked me when I was going to bed right before going in. I told her that she needed to be asleep in order for me to go to bed. We haven't heard a peep from her.

Do you think I stand chance?

Allergic to December 4th?

It's been an exciting Chanukah holiday so far. Tuesday was the first night & went beautifully. That is until about 2:00 a.m. when Erin woke up. She was screaming for me that she needed to go potty so I went & brought her in. (Still can't figure out why she won't come in on her own.) When she'd finished up, she decided to climb into our bed. That lasted maybe 5 minutes. Then she jumped up & vomited all over the bed. GROSS!!!! David never moved so quickly in his life. He has now mastered changing bed linens & putting up a wash while totally asleep in under 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I kept Erin home yesterday & called her pediatrician. When the nurse called back 10 minutes later, she told me this was going around & would last 48 hours. Thankfully, the whole thing was over by 6:00 last night - no fevers, no vomitting. I kept her home again today because she ate nothing at all yesterday. Today it took her forever just to eat a mini bagel; however, she ate it willingly.

When I talked to my dad & stepmother last night, I mentioned that this was the exact date she got sick last year. My stepmother has decided that Erin is allergic to December 4th. Hmmmm. . . She may be right.

Hopefully, she'll be fine for tonight since she didn't enjoy unwrapping her presents last night. Of course, she's been wearing her Hello Kitty slippers all day & hasn't put her Hello Kitty magnet board away yet. I wonder what she's going to open tonight?

My Blood is Boiling

Tonight was the night of nights. I can't believe how angry I am!

David & I took Erin out for dinner to Red Lobster. It's one of our favorite places. Erin loves their bisuits, & we were really in the mood for seafood. We let Erin sit on the outside of the booth on David's side as a treat. Big mistake.

As an elderly couple was leaving the restaurant they passed us, & the lady said "oh how sweet" which was nice. The old man had the nerve to reach out & touch my child's face as he said "how sweet also." How dare he touch my daughter!! Who the heck does he think he is!? Erin wasn't any happier about it. That said we put her on the inside seat & thought that would be the end of it. HA!!

We were walking to our car when an old man looked at us & asked us "Is she for sale?" WHAT THE F***!?!? I was so angry that I turned around called him an idiot. It was the nicest thing I could say. David was fuming. Erin got so upset that I wanted to turn & go after that man. Erin got very defensive & said "I NOT for sale! You my mommy & dada." Thank G-d that she is so secure in our love for her.

What the heck is wrong with people!? Have they lost their minds!? I am so darn angry that people take such liberties.

Harry Potter Personality Quiz - Who are you?

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.


I love Harry Potter. I know it was supposed to be a children's series, but it has captured the hearts & minds of adults also. I almost wish that the series hadn't ended, but all good things must come to an end. Of course that's what "they" say. I don't necessarily agree.

So. Who are you?

So Much to be Thankful For

Yes. There truly is so much for me to be thankful for. While I count my blessings every day, this is the day that it really hits me.

• My beautiful daughter. Each & every night as I kiss her before I go to bed myself, I thank G-d for His wisdom in bringing this child into my life. I tell Erin that she is my light, my soul, my very life.
• My handsome, understanding, witty, sarcastic, non-social husband. I've loved him since I was 19 years old. There are days that I'd like to send him off so that I can be alone, & he gets it. Then there are the days that I can't breath for lack of not having enough time with him. I love this guy with all I've got.
• My ScrapSkank Sisters. Where would I be without you gals!? How many nights have we sat up late scrapping, bitching, complaining about life's lows & laughing over life's highs? With you, I found the creative outlet that my husband has always said was in me. With you, I found women who love me & accept me just the way I am.
• My FCC family. Who understands better than you all the trials, the pain of waiting, the joy of receiving our children, the worries that come along with adoption? Where else can I find people in the same situation - who have children that one day may say "but I don't look like you" or "why couldn't I stay with my birthparents"? Where else can I get such great shopping tips!?
• My father. It's been a long journey Daddy, but I think you finally get me.
• My stepmother Nancy. Who loves my father & his crazy children. Who is a wonderful bubbe to my daughter. Who understands my love/hate affair with teaching. Who over the years has become a dear friend.
• My In-Laws. They are wonderful people. Yes. They're in-laws & that does come with a raw deal all by itself. But I love them fully. To them, I am their daughter not their daughter-in-law. I love watching them with Erin. Such joy should be in everyone's lives.
• Sandra. Your strength gives me strength. You are the definition of a Waiting Heart. You waited to bring home your beautiful girls & be the best mother you possibly could. I've learned from you that it's okay to have down days right along with the good days. I've also learned that I'm not alone in my Starbucks obsession. :-)
• BlogLand. Yes. I'm actually thankful for BlogLand. Where else can I journal my thoughts & meet people who don't judge me for not believing the way they do?

Happy Turkey Day to all!!

Enjoy this special time with your family & friends!!

Sad

Tonight as we head into yet another holiday season I'm feeling sad - not depressed - just sad. I know that I should be so happy & yet I'm not. All day long I've needed to cry, from the moment I got out of bed. I'm a big believer in tears being a necessary evil. As I explain to Erin, there are sad tear, angry tears, & happy tears, & they all serve a purpose. Erin can't bear seeing me cry. It totally freaks her out so I need to hide them from her. David gets upset when I cry so I need to hide them from him. When do I get a chance to let it all out?

The holidays are always a hard time for me. My mom has been gone since 1985, & a day doesn't go by that I don't miss her. My dad has told me that she would be proud of me - as a mother, as a career woman & as a wife & daughter. I hope so. It's not like he'd feed me a line of BS but I do wonder what she'd think of me. Would she realize that I've learned the lessons she taught me? Would she know how much I always loved her? And I wonder too if she knows how I hate that she left me. How I hate that I had to name my daughter for her instead of one of my grandparents. How I hate that she's not around so we could sit down & read our trashy novels & share a few pots of coffee. How I hate that she's not around to see her granddaughter. She would have been an amazing grandmother since she absolutely loved kids. She would have adored Erin.

Yes. I try to remember that my mom had no choice in leaving us. It was her time. G-d had made his decision. But darn! Knowing that doesn't help in the here & now when I'm missing her.

Family & friends who knew my mom say that I'm just like her. I hope so.

Sleep??

And my sleep issues continue. Ugh! I crawled into bed last night around 10:00 pm. That sounds like a decent hour doesn't it? Erin woke up for a few minutes but finally fell back asleep all tucked into me. I love that.

Around 2:30 I woke up & told David to move over. He told me that we weren't alone. HUH!? What happened to "I need my sleep, & Erin moves around too much." from him??? So he finally picked her up & put her in her own bed. By 5:00 I was awake & ready to start my day. Yes. I've been on the computer since 5:00 am. Back in the days before we got our referral, I went to bed around 1:00 am & was up by 4:00 am. This happened from December 2001 on. The thing that people found amazing was that I can actually function on 3 hours of sleep a night.

Why can I do this? 'Cause I always have. Back in college I went for days with no sleep at all. Then all of a sudden I would crash & sleep for 24 hours straight. It drove my parents bonkers. My dad would get POd & my mom would tell me to go to sleep like a normal person just so he'd stop bugging her. Of course my mom was no better than I was. We'd wake up in the middle of the night, go into the kitchen, put up a put of coffee, smoke some cigarettes, read a book or 2 & chat.

Maybe I don't give this up willingly because it's a tie to my mom who I miss every day. Maybe I do this because I have fibromyalgia & always did? Who knows? All I know is that I'm tired of the bags under my eyes. I used to be able to hide them with concealer. Now I can't wear make up so I tend to look like a racoon.

What Do You Say?

What do you say to the people who are waiting? & waiting & waiting.

Can you say that the end result is worth it? Can you say that your child is just not ready to show him/herself to you yet? Can you say that once your child is in your arms the wait time goes away?

Yes. You can say all that & certainly more. However, the person who is waiting doesn't want to hear any of this. At the moment in time when you're hoping & praying for a referral, you don't want to hear the usual platitudes. You just want to know who your child is & when you can travel to them so you can hold him/her in your arms. You want to put a stop to the questions people are asking. The questions that you have no answer to.

How do I know this?

Easy. (Ha!) David & I started our journey October 15, 2000. Being the person that I am, I knew that I needed no help - from anyone (even our agency SW). Duh! Big mistake. I did all of our paperwork perfectly. Just backwards. And because I did it all backwards, I ended up having to do much of it over again because it expired. Our official DTC (Dossier to China) date was February 28, 2002. Do you see a problem with the dates here? Oh yes. My pride got in the way.
I was lucky enough to have that referral date though. Why? Because I managed to make the most amazing friends. The February Waiting Hearts group had the longest DTC to referral date at that time - 13/14 months depending upon whether you got your referral on March 31st or April 1st. My dear friend Sandra got her referral for Jazzie on march 31st. I opened my email to see Jazzie's face & hear "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed. (Now when I hear that song, I cry in remembrance of that special day.) I also met my dear friend Susan who lives in FL also. Without these 2 special women I wouldn't have made it.

My call came on April 1st a/k/a April Fool's Day. I had been so upset crying for days that we weren't getting our referral. I thought for sure that our agency was waiting to tell us that we had been declined although my brain knew that this wasn't possible. When the call finally came at 2:45 pm I was at work. When Emily told me it was my turn, I screamed at her that her joke was not funny & hung up. Yes. I hung up on my agency. Thank G-d she called back seconds later. As I sat in the bank crying, all of my co-workers & clients came over & sat to wait while I received the information about Chun HuaXu soon to be known as Erin Chelsie. And then I proceeded to call David with the news.

What do you say?

You say that the wait is horrible. You say that the tears are worth it. You say that you will be there for the waiting families to cry with them as they continue to wait.

And you say that you will cry tears of absolute joy when their turn comes.

Monday, October 29th, my dear friends Lori & Marc will celebrate as their son Ethan joins their family in China. Here in the United States, I will wait to see their email & then cry. Tears of joy.

And I will cry when I hear of more families being united with their children. Because that is what we do.