What does adoption me to me?

Seeing this picture on April 1, 2003

(She was 6 months old)

 to

Celebrating her 3rd birthday - July 2005

to

Celebrating her 4th birthday - July 2006

to

Celebrating her 5th birthday - July 2007

to

Celebrating her 6th birthday - July 2008

to

Celebrating her 7th birthday - July 2009

It means having the honor to teach her, to love her, to laugh with her, to cry with her.  It means all that & more.

It's What??

It's National Blog Posting Month!

And thanks for telling me about it Lori!  If you want to participate, you just need to post each day in November.  This is a pretty big commitment - especially for someone who has never posted daily to begin with.  I'm going to give it a shot just so I can get back into the habit of blogging again. 

I started blogging a few years after we adopted Erin.   My blog is for Erin & myself.  I want her to have what I don't have - a compilation of memories captured by her mother.  I have bits & pieces from my own mother but would have cherished seeing her thoughts written down.  I know what I miss, & have been trying (not too successfully) to give her a piece of me for later on in life. 

Blogging has been a huge source of comfort for me, but it has also

• 
  
  introduced me to a number of people that I might never have had the chance to get to know in any other way
  
• captured my thoughts about Erin & my life as her mother
  
• seen bits about David - the man who was put on this planet to drive me nuts but keep me pinned with that look of his that tells me I'm his one & only. 
  
• 
  
  allowed me to write about my mother so that Erin will understand who I am & where I'm coming from.  I've also written about how her life affects me.
  
• been a source of fun in the way of tags from other bloggers
  
• been a place where I can vent my frustrations
  

7 Year Well Visit

Okay.  Don't remind me.  I know I waited a long time, but even though school is out during the summer when Erin has her birthday, I never remember her well visit.  Bad mama!

This past week, Erin had her well visit with Dr. Liang.  This was not an easy visit since Erin was also getting her flu shot - not something any child looks forward to having.  My friend Lisa would tell me that I should have taken my camera out & snapped some pics, but I didn't.  Usually I don't document the annual visit but this one just struck me.

Erin hit the American charts! Finally!  She weighs 41 pounds & is in the 3rd-5th percentile.  She is 44 inches tall & is in the 10th percentile.  We've always known that Erin is petite & will never be the jolly green giant.  Dr. Liang seems happy with Erin's progress.  However, for the first time ever, she threw a caution out for us.

We have to work with Erin on her eating habits.  She isn't eating enough.  Although she eats well sometimes, on the whole, she needs work.  We have to limit her juice to 4 ounces a day & bring her dairy intake back up to 3 servings a day.  She also has to start eating some more veggies.  Dr. Liang made a point of telling Erin that she has to try each vegetable that David & I put on her plate. 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not as worried as it sounds.  Erin avoids red meat at all costs but that's not so bad.  Her idea of eating steak is taking one bite.  Ha! Then again, she can pound down a half a bagel with cream cheese & eat lox by the pound.  She is a carb girl & loves her French toast, waffles & pancakes.  Fruit?  Don't put it out unless you want Erin to stand there & finish the plate.  Veggies?  Nope.  Corn is her speed.  She told Dr. Liang that she once had a bite of broccoli & really liked it.  When Dr. Liang asked her if she'd eat it again, you would have thought that she had 2 heads from the way Erin looked at her.  What!? I'm supposed to eat more than one bite!?  No way!! Not gonna happen.

The good news here is that Erin has been eating lunch every day.  She eats pizza at school each Friday so I know she'll eat that.  Also, she loves their chicken & potatoes.  Other than that, I pack her lunch - peanut butter & jelly, nutella (sometimes with peanut butter & sometimes with banana slices), cottage cheese with sour cream, cheese sticks, yogurt with granola, fruit, pudding, goldfish, dried cranberries, mango, pretzels.  Her drinks are usually a bottle of water, a fruit juice bag or some iced tea.  Most days her lunch bag comes home empty. 

Viv has given us the idea of having Erin drink the V-8 Fusion drinks.  Each 8 ounce serving is a serving of veggies.  She loves the banana strawberry flavor.  Today was the first day she even noticed the veggies on the label.  Thankfully, she didn't stop drinking it.  Even so, we only give it to her every other day.  Like most juices, it's high in sugar. 

So why the worry?  Her doctor believes that if Erin keeps growing at this rate, she will end up approximately 5 feet tall & about 105 pounds.  Because Erin is so small, the worry is that she goes negative in her growth pattern.  She is the smallest one out of her travel group sisters even though she isn't the youngest. 

I say that we'll see what life brings us. 

The Tooth Fairy Chronicles - Tooth 2

(Forgive the lateness of this post, but we have been without internet for 4 days.)

Wednesday night Erin & I went to karate for her lesson.  The lesson is 45 minutes long, & then we have a 15 minute leadership lesson.  I usually sit with my friends Angie, Michelle & Barbara so we can chitchat.  Class was going really well for all of our children.  They were focused, paying attention & generally doing what they were supposed to be doing.  I do admit to enjoying watching the lessons.  I'm pretty darn proud of my girl.

The regular lesson ended on time, & the leadership class began.  During one of their exercises, Sifu Helana had them at attention ready to move on.  Erin raised her hand & when she was acknowledged said (plain as day) "Excuse me Sifu but I have to give this to my mama.  My tooth just fell out."  The look on Sifu Helana's face was priceless.  She couldn't believe that Erin waited to be called on before saying anything & of course, how many people have teeth that just drop out of their mouths?

Erin ran over to hand me her teeny tiny bit of a tooth.  When class was dismissed, Sifu had the entire class yell out "Congratulations Erin!"  So cute!

Once we got home, Erin was reminded where she had to sleep in order to have a visit from the Tooth Fairy.  She wasn't happy about it but followed through.  Apparently, during karate, her friend Dakota told her that he saw the Tooth Fairy, & she has blue wings.  WHAT!?!? I had to think quick for that one!

About an hour after bedtime, Erin went to David saying "It's not fair.  It's not fair."  She woke up long enough to ask me why Dakota got to see the Tooth Fairy.  I explained that there are different Tooth Fairies for different areas & that they have different things they want.  In our neighborhood I was told the Tooth Fairy doesn't visit children who are not in their bedrooms, & she certainly doesn't want to be seen!

Thanks Dakota!

Anyway, the Tooth Fairy has decided that she pays $2 per tooth after the first one.  Whew!

The Tooth Fairy Chronicles

After yesterday's big news we had to prepare Erin for her very first visit from The Tooth Fairy.  I have to say that this was a lot of fun too!

We have been preparing Erin for The Visit by explaining that the Tooth Fairy comes at night while we are asleep.   I told Erin that we had a problem since the Tooth Fairy only knows how to find the bedroom of the child who lost their tooth.  AND, if the child isn't in their room, she gets lost.  (David & I have been trying to get Erin to sleep in her room for years now.  If this didn't work, nothing was getting her out of our room!)  Erin told us that she would give it a shot & try sleeping in her room so she could have her visit.  While David was out doing something, I explained that she needed to sleep in her room the entire night since we don't know what time the Tooth Fairy will show up.

My oh so smart child asked why the Tooth Fairy wouldn't be able to find her in our room.  But Mama was prepared for that question! Did you know that if an adult is in the room, the Tooth Fairy gets confused!?  Shocking! Just shocking I tell you!

Anyway, we started our ritual by finding Erin's special Tooth Box that my Aunt Jean made for Erin when she was a baby.  (I like to be prepared.)  We cleaned it up & made it all nice & fresh.  And then I told Erin that in order for the Tooth Fairy to show up, she has to hear a public announcement to know which house to go to & where the bedroom is.  So . . .

I had Erin repeat after me:

"Oh Tooth Fairy! We had a special thing happen today!  Erin lost her Very First Tooth Ever!  And we want you to know that she's put it someplace safe until you can pick it up!"

(Poor Erin giggled her way through this while I had to keep a straight face.)

And then she went to sleep.  In her sleeping bag.  In her room.  For the entire night!

At 6:30 this morning, Erin came to me & told me that she wanted to see if the Tooth Fairy visited.  We went into her room, & when she was awake enough, she looked on her dresser.  And what did she see!? Why Fairy Dust of course!  She opened her special box & was totally thrilled.

It seems that the Tooth Fairy pays pretty nicely these days.  Erin got $5 in gold Sacagewea dollars! (I've had those since she was a baby also.  I told you I like to prepare ahead of time.)  Of course, I did let Erin know that $5 was only for the first time.  After that, she probably wouldn't get quite as much.

And her 2nd tooth is probably going to come out in the next few weeks. 

All She Wants for Chanukah is . . .

. . . a new tooth!

Yup! You heard it here! Today, Thursday, October 8, 2009 my girl lost her very first tooth.

I came home after David & Erin since I had a doctor's appointment.  No sooner did I walk in the door than Erin came running up to me "Mama! Look! My tooth came out!"

And thank G-d it did.  Erin was told back in May that she had a loose tooth.  I told the dentist that I was shocked because I thought her teeth were grounded in cement.  He had a good laugh at that.  Anyway, her tooth started to become visibly loose in August.  She's been waiting for this to  happen since many of her friends started to loose teeth last year.  Her friend Alyssa lost 2 teeth in as many days!

So what was Erin doing when her tooth came out? Nothing.  She was in aftercare doing her homework.  She wasn't even eating a snack! It just fell out on the table.  Cool!

Her tooth is so tiny! In fact, I got worried thinking that there was a problem because her permanent tooth is already there.  David told me that the only way for the baby teeth to come out is for the adult tooth to push it out of the way.

My girl is growing up.  I'm not ready for this.  But I am so dang happy for her!!!

The Dryer From Hell

After only 4 years, my Kenmore dryer has been declared useless.  I have a great warranty on both the washer & dryer.  The problem is that the warranty is great for Sears.  For me?  Not so great.  My dryer broke down about 5 weeks ago.  I immediately contacted Sears Home Repair so they could come out & fix my beloved dryer the next day.  Oh no! That isn't an emergency according to Sears.  I had to wait until the following week.  WTF!? I have 3 loads of wet clothing & no dryer! How could that not be an emergency?

The first visit, the technician came out ready to work.  Too bad he had nothing with him.  Not one darn thing! He figured out what was wrong.  Well, Mr. H your dryer isn't getting warm.  Duh! A rocket scientist came to our house.  David told him that we already knew that which was why he was visiting us.  So what did said technician do?  Why he ordered the parts of course.

And they came.  A week later.

Then comes the next technician.  He puts the dryer together, & it still doesn't work.  He calls for support.  The supervisor tells him what to do, but he mentions to the supervisor that what is being suggested will blow the main board which is not broken.  Until the supervisor breaks him down.  So he orders another part & now has to include a main board.

And they came.  A week later.

This technician is a real sweetie.  He puts it all together, & voila! It still doesn't work.  They sent us a brand new main board.  But it was blown.  So this technician orders a new main board & requests to have it expressed to us.  He also promises to come to out home first thing Saturday morning.  I made a big exception for this since it is Rosh Hashanah, & I don't like to have work done in my home on this holy day.  But I need my dryer.  I can't afford to keep taking my clothing to the local laundromat.  Besides, he swears the part will be here by Wednesday.

Thursday night we received a phone call.  This was a followup to find out how our dryer is working. ????  Boy did David have a lot to say.  While I cried.

This morning we did a bit of research because enough is enough.  What is the use of having a warranty if the work never gets done?  Since we needed to get a new dryer, I told David we may as well get a new washer.  After all, 4 years of having a front loading, $$ saving washing machine gave me nothing but agida.  Why?  Because this wonderful front loading washing machine has leaked since day one.  Oh.  What did Sears have to say on that one?  Mrs. H you do realize you have to clean your washer, don't you?  AAGGGGHHH!!!!

So off to Lowe's we went this morning.  And bought this beautiful washer & dryer set.  BTW, they will be installed this coming Tuesday after 5:00 pm.  And I smile.  Yay for me! I can go back to laundry hell!

Lunch Date with My Girl

On the 12th, I decided to take Erin out for a Girl's Day.  Very impromptu.  Aren't those the best?  One of her favorite places to eat is Red Lobster.  I can be assured that she'll eat half of their portion, & I don't have to badger her.

Can I just say. . . .

that changing email accounts is a major pain in the tush!?

99 Things

I saw this on Sandra's blog. It's pretty neat. Give it a shot if you like.

Here are the rules:

Bold the things you’ve done and post this list on your blog then leave me a comment and tell me you did this I can go see!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Written something that was published
11. Bungee jumped or parachuted
12. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge
13. Been in a fist fight
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Seen the Rings of Saturn with a telescope
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when not ill
24. Built a tree house or snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Fired a gun
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal
44. Visited Africa
45. Cried yourself to sleep
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Visited the Eiffel Tower
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Pretended you cooked something from scratch when you didn't.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie or commercial
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold something door to door
62. Gone whale or dolphin watching
64. Donated blood, marrow, etc
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Held onto a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten frog legs or caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Time Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Done something illegal
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Sang a solo
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Climbed a mountain
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had surgery
89. Directly saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Seen a loved one die
94. Given birth to a baby
95. Visited the Alamo
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Sent a text message while driving
99. Been stung by a bee

What would Joe/Jane Average American have to say about this?

If anyone knows ANYONE that can help this family, please forward this story on.

http://jayscruggs.livejournal.com/

The video, in two parts, is on YouTube.com

Part 1:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G1FCAhL-WA

Part 2:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkldZTw5f9g

What this family is going through is beyond disgraceful! If you know anyone who can help the Scruggs family, PLEASE pass this on. I personally am unable to watch the video clips. They would rip me & my heart into pieces. The average American person who is untouched by adoption probably has no idea what is happening. What would they say if they knew?

FACE Act of 2009 Petition

Most countries recognize internationally adopted children as citizens upon the finalization of their adoption. The USA does not. The Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act (FACE Act) would recognize that internationally adopted children deserve to be treated as children of American citizens and accorded the same citizenship process as children born abroad to American citizens. PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION!

FACE Act of 2009 Petition

Shared via AddThis

If you read my blog & aren't part of the adoption community, I hope that you will consider reading the FACE Act & signing the petition.

The Stars Have to be in Perfect Alignment

"Why was Chianna a big girl when she came home?"

Wow! And yet another big question from Erin. Last night was really chock full o' zingers.

Erin has been around adopted children her entire life & has never questioned the process until Chianna. This past Mother's Day, Chianna landed in FL with her mommy & daddy. Erin was giddy with excitement as she waited for her new friend to come home. Chianna came home at an older age than most of the children that Erin knows.

Last night's discussion about someone taking her away from us lead to why Chianna was older when she came home. Gee. Just how do you explain why some children wait around in an orphanage for years while others get to come home as infants? How do you explain the bureaucracy? How do you explain the BS?

When David & Erin take their telescopes out to observe the moon, the stars & the other planets, the stars have to be "just so" in order to be right. If the stars aren't in just the right position, it can't be the Big Dipper or the Little Dipper or any of the other constellations.

Some children aren't ready just like their mommies & daddies aren't ready. The stars have to be in perfect alignment for the whole package to be right. Chianna's stars weren't in perfect alignment until a few months ago. That is why she came home at an older age.

Erin will learn the truth when she's older. For now, this explanation worked.

"Mama I Dreaming"

This is what Erin comes out to tell me each night after she's been asleep for a while. And, each night I ask her what she's dreaming about. Her answer? "I don't know."

Last night after this happened 2 or 3 times, she asked me to come stay with her so I did. We've been trying to get Erin to tell us what she's dreaming about but never get an answer. She just gets very upset & starts to cry. I let it go last night & just sat there holding her. At one point she rolled over & said "I dreaming that they taking me away."

WHAT???

Did you hear my heart fall on the floor? I asked her to repeat herself & she got upset again so I went & got David. On the way into the bedroom, I gave him a heads up, & oh, you didn't hear his heart drop either?

We both went to talk with Erin about her comment. Together we were able to discover that Erin's dreams are about someone (anyone) taking her away from us. It about killed us to hear this come out of her mouth, but I guess the concerns & questions will start coming now. She isn't sure who it is that will be taking her but just that "someone" will take her.

Erin knows that we filled out TONS of paperwork to bring her home & make her our daughter. It just isn't enough for her to know that piece of the puzzle. We explained that when we were in China, before we even got to sign the adoption papers, we had to promise China that we would love her forever, educate her & NEVER give her away or let anyone take her from us. Then we explained that we went before a judge here in the US to do the same thing. And then we made sure that she has the same rights as David & I & a gazillion other Americans by making her a citizen of the USA. We told her that it is our job to protect her & that we would make sure that no one would ever take her away from us or us away from her. It seemed to help a bit but she still had trouble falling asleep.

Then again, so did David & I.

We know that this is a long time coming for our girl who has never slept well & never verbalized her concerns to us. We make it very clear that we are open to any & all questions about anything & everything. I guess now we have to be prepared to have some answers or to find these answers..

I may never sleep again knowing what Erin is feeling.

I Hate Diabetes!!

Blogging has been a challenge lately. You put so much of yourself into a post but don't want to put your entire life "out there" for the world to see. I try to be positive most of the time, but lately I'm having a tough time. So much is going on between my life & my friends & family - all hard stuff.

David is diabetic but a very well-controlled diabetic. His numbers are amazingly good. He indulges but is careful. Of course it helps that I hound him when I think he's going overboard. Rather than get angry, he lets me know where his numbers are & what he's doing. We tend to have pretty good communication about this issue.

So what's the problem if he's controlled? Well, diabetic neuropathy. It has made life a living hell. David was officially diagnosed as a diabetic after we came home from China. The neuropathy diagnosis came along about 2 years ago & the onset has been amazingly fast. I neither can nor do I want do go into what it's like for him to live in constant horrific pain.

As long as I know David, he's always been a sweater. (Yuck! I hate sweat.) It has gotten so much worse since the neuropathy. He has to wear fentanyl patches for the pain but they come off when he sweats. Insurance covers the cost of 30 days worth of patches. Sounds great, but when you sweat them off, you run short. And then you have to pay for them out of pocket. We have spent anywhere from $300 up to needing to replace a whole month's supply at $1500. You can't just go without the patches either. The pain is excruciating. There is so much more to this

The docs have come up with a plan to help us out though. This past Friday, David was given shots of botox (yes, you read correctly). Botox is supposed to help with hyper hydrosis (a/k/a super sweating). Oh. And insurance does have a code but the dr's office refused to use it. Another $1,000 out of pocket. OTOH, the shots have worked. So far.

If you read this David, I hope you don't mind. I've really been needing to get this crap off my chest. I honestly hope this works - for all of us. Erin doesn't really know of life without diabetes & having to see her daddy when he's in pain just plain ole sucks. It isn't any better for me either.

You like WHAT???

Football Mama.

That is what Erin likes. Okay, so that's not so bad by any means; however, she lives in a house that has never seen a sports channel turned on. Erin came home from school one day & decided that she likes football. I even bought her a small football to toss around.

Does this mean that I have to actually watch the game!? I don't understand it one bit. And I don't really get why people watch it either. OTOH, at least it isn't golf.

Oh! And she is obsessed by the news also. Now that makes sense. David is a news hound. Many mornings when Erin is finished with her daily chores, she can watch some tv before leaving for camp. Some days it's the Disney channel. Some days it's the news.



Rather than be upset about the bad things she sees, she asks questions.

• What does this word mean?


• Why are those people doing that?


• How are they going to fix that traffic mess? (I don't know but hope "they" figure it out before I go out on the road.)

I find this all very strange. At 6 I liked playing at the park, riding my bicycle & playing with my Barbie doll.

Vacation. Or Not.

I've been on vacation for the last 2 weeks.

Vacation you say? You must be so well-rested.

Ha! Who decided that vacations are for resting!? They must have been nuts. I'm exhausted from 2 weeks of "resting." I really do think that vacations are just a mental break from the norm because I got absolutely no rest these last 2 weeks.

This is what I accomplished on "vacation."

• Cut off 6 inches of my hair.
• Shopped for some summer clothing for Erin with my friend Michelle.
• Met Shari, Myke & Chianna for lunch.
• Went to the movies to see "Up!" with friends & all the kids. Michelle, Lisa & I sat in one row while we let Madi, Dante & Erin sit in front of us. It was a great experience for all of us. That is until Lisa & Michelle had to help me out of the chair because my hip locked up. Thanks gals!
• Scrap dates with Lisa. I got a lot done - 5 pages in 2 days. We tried to figure out how to use my new Cricut Create with no success. (More on that later.) It's always a good day when I'm with my gal Lisa! Scrapping, coffee, coke, shopping, chatting & trying to hide from the kids.
• Spent a day with Michelle & her daughter Lauren. Shopping, food & doctor appointment. Then the girls got to play at Lauren's house while Michelle & I chatted.
• Lunch & play date at Chick Fil-A (Their new peach milkshake is delish!) with Candy & Rachel, Minouche & Yasmin and Shari, Myke & Chianna (I'm still waiting for blog updates!). The mommies had a nice relaxing time chatting while Myke exhausted himself playing with the children. Watching the children play together is so heartwarming. Rachel & Yasmin hung together playing with Myke. In the meantime, Erin & Chianna were side by side.
• Drove up to my friend Jolene's house for a mommy scrap date & so that our girls could have a play date. We got there an hour early because I had forgotten that the last time I went there, I drove up during rush hour. Jolene laughed at me knowing that I'm driving challenged. Her hubby Freeman just took it in stride. I can't thank Jolene enough for a wonderful day! She showed me what I was doing incorrectly with my Cricut & totally wowed me with the capabilities it has!
• I signed Erin up for another 2 years of karate. Starting next month, Erin will also go into the school's leadership program. I can't thank Sifu Halana, Sifu Neil & their staff enough. Erin has really come far in their program. This normally shy girl has gained a measure of self-confidence that David & I only hoped she would gain. Erin goes 2-3 days a week & really looks forward to her time there. And I get to do more gabbing with new friends.

So now my vacation is coming to an end. What's on the plate for the weekend as I get ready to return to real life? More.

• Karate class
• Attend the grand opening of Monkey Joe's with some of my FCC friends.
• Laundry
• Shopping for the house
• Napping. Finally!

Life is busy! And exhausting!

"Gotcha Day!" "Forever Day!"

What's the difference? That was the question someone asked me just the other day. It's not a big difference in either David's or my mind. It really is one & the same; but it isn't.

Gotcha Day was June 2, 2003. It sort of speaks for itself. This was the day that 15 families sat in a very hot, very un-air conditioned room in the Guangdong Provincial Civil Affairs building for what seemed like years. We waited, & we waited & we waited. Only to find out that the Yangchun babies were arriving later than expected because of traffic delays. I even have a picture of my friend Gary pointing at his watch in impatience. After what seemed like ages, they arrived. I was so busy taking pictures of everyone receiving their baby & videoing our friends' Susan & Art receiving their daughter, that I actually missed hearing our name. In the background I finally heard David yell at me "Hey Tammie! Go get our daughter!" And they handed me the sweetest, quietest little baby who in no way weighed what they told us she weighed as far back as her referral picture was taken. David let me take Erin first & hold her & cry & check that she had 10 fingers & 10 toes. And then I handed David his daughter. And fell in love all over again.

Forever Family Day was June 3, 2003. This was the day that Chun Hua Xu became our daughter Erin Chelsie. We signed the papers, & I started crying. (I know that's a shock.) I looked at David & can remember saying we have to call our parents & tell them she's ours forever & no one can take her from us. When we did finally get back to the hotel, David told me to call my dad first. "Daddy, she's ours. No one can take her from us." And I heard my dad & stepmother cry tears of joy. I think it was about 2:00 am where they live.

We don't make a huge deal over these days. We want Erin to know that they are special, but that just having her in our lives is special. Each year we try to do something a little special. This year it was a pedicure & special dinner followed up with a yummy cake.

Come & Gone

Here is the new "do!" Not too different at all.

June 1st has come & gone. I've made it. I have survived 46 years, 6 weeks by 4 days.

I'm still worried but I don't think I'm as scared as I have been. David has been edge & asked me about how I was feeling. Actually, I feel fine. A little stressed, but other than that nothing is bothering me.

Yay me!

So what did I do to celebrate? I cut off my hair. Actually, I didn't cut it all off - just 6 inches. I still have enough hair to put into a decent pony tail. I spent the last 2 days trying to find a place to go. I have some clients who wanted to work with my hair, & I thought about it. Then I realized that being as picky as I am with my hair, I didn't want to worry about "What if I don't like what they do?" I ended up walking into a Hair Cuttery telling the stylist to cut my hair to just below my shoulders. I didn't even flinch!

First, Second, Third, Fourth and

now Erin has Fifth Disease!

She woke up yesterday morning with red cheeks. You know how when you wake up sometimes you have a red face? And then it goes away. Well she woke up around 6:30 / 7:00. We were getting ready to go to my niece Riley's birthday party. Around 10:00 I called David to tell him what was going on. I took a few pictures of her face & he took a peek at them. Unfortunately, we decided that going to the birthday party was out. We had one very unhappy little girl.

In the end I called the pediatrician's office to ask if we needed to do anything or even come in for a visit. Everyone's favorite nurse called us back to answer my questions. I described Erin's face to her, & she told me that Erin has what is called Fifth Disease. Erin is NOT contagious at all. Actually, the child is contagious up until the rash comes out but now that the rash is out, we have the all clear. She'll have the rash anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks, & then it should go away.

Erin was really upset at first. Aside from having a rash on her face, she couldn't go to the birthday party. The poor kid thought this was her fault. It took a while for me to get her to believe that she didn't do anything wrong. I explained to her that she'll need to stay indoors & get plenty of rest over the next few days. Oh. And she also can't sleep in inter jammies all bundled up like she likes to do. (For a kid who has never lived in cold areas, she prefers flannel jammies.)

I took her over to Target for a while. She loves to go shopping but even better she can get her favorite treat there. Our Target has a Starbucks inside. She loves to get one of their Strawberry & Creme drinks with whipped cream on top. It was a nice day for us since David had to go to work. She got 4 bathing suits, some Bakugan, puzzles & coloring sheets.

David has to go to work again today. He has a BIG project he's working on. Erin & I were supposed to go out to a dance recital for her friend Lauren. We decided to keep her home with just a quick excursion out later today so she doesn't feel punished.

Alice Cooper says it all

Well we got no choice

All the girls and boys

Makin all that noise

'Cause they found new toys

Well we can't salute ya

Can't find a flag

If that don't suit ya

That's a drag

School's out for summer

School's out forever

School's been ***************

No more pencils

No more books

No more teacher's dirty looks

Well we got no class

And we got no principles

And we got no innocence

We can't even think of a word that rhymes

School's out for summer

School's out forever

School's been ***************

No more pencils

No more books

No more teacher's dirty looks

Out for summer

Out till fall

We might not go back at all

School's out forever

School's out for summer

School's out with fever

School's out completely

Hebrew school is out for the summere. As always I'm in desperate need of some good ole fashioned rest. Don't get me wrong.

I always dread the beginnng of the year. What new obstacles will I have to overcome? What new plan will I need for that student who just doesn't "fit the mold?"

And the last day of school? I cry as I watch "my kids" move on to the next grade. When they came to me, they knew a few of the Hebrew letters & had heard some Bible stories. By the last day, my students have learned all of the letters & even write them. (If you have ever seen Hebrew, you know the letters look nothing like the English language.) Many of them might even be ready to start reading! They know their Bible stories & can discuss (on their level) the meaning behind the story.

But for now School's Out for Summer!

Citizenship

Today was the day we have been waiting for! At 8:00 a.m. this morning, May 12, 2009 Erin had to appear at the local field office of the US Dept of Immigration. She was finally being sworn in as an American citizen!

As of February 2001 when an internationally adopted child enters the United States on an IR-4 visa (indicating both parents travelled), they are an American citizen. HOWEVER, (isn't there always a "however?") there isn't a government agency that recognized that federal law. David & I flew to China knowing that Erin would be granted citizenship as soon as we both set foot on U.S. soil. And then we received her Resident Alien card in the mail.. Huh? Wait a second! She's a citizen. Nope. Not one agency recognized this law. I was one ticked off mama when I had to argue with the lady at the Social Security Administration on the day I registered to get Erin's social security number. The reality is that if your child received a Resident Alien card, then the government doesn't recognize your child to be a citizen.

In 2007 I realized that I wasn't going to win. I completed all of the paperwork within hours of the application fee being doubled. A few weeks ago, David called me at work to let me know that Erin was finally being granted citizenship.

Last night we all went to bed early so we could be up bright & early for the day's special events. We left the house & got to the field office by 7:35. As we walked in, we were greeted by security & had to pass through the screening process. Then we waited in a long line until they allowed us to go in to the Swearing In room at 8:00.

The first thing upon entering the room, Erin & I sat down at a table so that I could verify the information that is on her paperwork. Let me tell you I was pissed. We entered the U.S. on June 11, 2003. Her citizenship is effective October 2003. David made me shut up so that we get it all over with. He was probably afraid that Erin wouldn't get her citizenship.

After finishing up at "the table," we were directed to the seating area for the swearing in. Because Erin is a minor, one of us was allowed to sit with her while the other sat in the guest area (right next to her it turns out). David was stepping aside to let me sit with Erin. Our very decisive little girl decided that she wanted to have her daddy sit with her. That said, David sat with his girl while I sat on the sidelines.

While we all waited for the ceremony to begin, I got to observe David & Erin together. They played & chit chatted each adoring the other. They looked through the plastic bag that each new citizen is given. Inside was a small American flag. Erin loved waiving her flag around!

The ceremony started.

• The field officer welcomed all of the people as they were becoming citizens.
• Everyone rose to sing The Star Spangled Banner.
• The field officer announced how many people were being granted citizenship & which country they came from. (China had 3 people.)
• Everyone rose to say the Pledge of Allegiance. This was lead by one of the new citizens. He lead everyone beautifully.
• The field officer then called each person by name to come & get their Certificate of Citizenship & have their picture taken. Erin turned her head into David's shoulder at that point & refused to look up.

When we were done, it was picture time! David snapped a few pics inside - even got one of me!

I Made It

I got through yesterday & not too badly if I do say so myself. May 7th is my mother's birthday, & yesterday she would have been 70 years old. I can't really imagine that. In fact, when I think of what my mom looked like, I remember her from the Mother's Day before she died. I have a picture of her with my brother Seth & me. That is how I see her in my mind's eye. That is when I can picture her alive. It's hard because my last memory of her is from when the paramedics took her out of our house to bring her to the hospital.

Yesterday, I had a migraine. I usually feel sick on my mom's birthday. I guess it's the stress of the day & missing her. I did my best to focus on the day & ignore her birthday. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I tried to be stress-free. And to some degree, it worked.

Happy birthday Mommy! I miss you & I love you.

Shari & Myke.

They won! They fought the battle & won it all!

My friends Shari & Myke left for Vietnam Friday night to adopt their beautiful child Chianna. Adoption in Vietnam is very different than adoption from China - unless of course things have vastly changed since 2003. Shari & Myke were supposed to visit Chianna yesterday and have their G&R (Giving & Receiving) ceremony this afternoon. Their Vietnam contact Thuy told them that orphanage was moving up the G&R to 9:00 am today so when they went for their visit yesterday, they were allowed to take custoday of Chianna & bring her back to their hotel. After the adoption battle they went through, this was truly a blessing.

I have been following this journey of their's from the very beginning. Let me say that I have never seen a man so involved in the adoption process. Most of the women I know say that they filled out the paperwork, & their spouses followed along wherever they were led. Who knows? Was it easier for them to do it this way? Did it actually happen this way, or is it what they remember of the process? Are the women just that much more organized? I don't know. David was this way. I think of it as being shell-shocked. Myke seemed to be very into the whole process.

The other night, I was talking with him. It came to me during this conversation how similar he is to my own husband. Both of them went along on the Adoption Roller Coaster to Hell. Both of them supported their wives during the ups & the downs. And both of them said to me that until they take custody of their child, it wasn't really happening.

Myke, if you ever read this, I am so happy that you have gotten off the Adoption Roller Coaster to Hell. Seeing the picture of you in the car, almost praying, brought me to tears. I know in my heart of hearts that you're going to be a hell of a daddy. (G-d knows you've had plenty of practice with your own niece & now nephew &, of course, with all of the FCC children.) I know that you have many of the same worries. It will all be fine in the end. And, Mr. Pied Piper of S FL, we can safely say that your special magic works no matter what country you are in.

Shari, I couldn't be any happier for you than I am right now. There are no words that I can think of. You are a persistent woman & once you have a goal in sight, there is nothing that will stop you.

Congratulations Mommy & Daddy! Welcome to the Roller Coaster of Parenthood!

Finally!! Notification of Citizenship Application

When David & I traveled to China in 2003, we brought home one amazing little baby. Erin became a citizen the minute we stepped onto US land. That was a law. It went into effect not too long before we received her referral.

Too bad, the US government agencies didn't acknowledge their own law! It was a fight when I called & asked why we received a green card for Erin in the mail. It was a fight when I applied for Erin's social security number. It was a fight when I tried to get her covered for health & life insurance. It was even a fight when I opened her bank accounts. Sheesh! What the heck use is a law if no one will recognize it!?

After a while, I got tired of the fight & let it go. In July 2007, David & I filled out the paperwork to have Erin officially recognized as an American citizen.

Yesterday, the notice came in the mail. On Tuesday, May 12, 2009 David & I will take Erin down to have her sworn in as an American citizen!!

Chianna's COMING HOME!!!!

A million years ago, when Erin was a very little girl, David & I were shopping in Target. A pretty nice guy stopped us to ask a few questions (if we didn't mind that is).

Today, that nice guy & his sweet wife left to go bring their daughter home! Myke & Shari have over the last few years become a very important part of our lives. Erin absolutely adores Myke. After all, he is the Pied Piper of the FCC-SFL. Children everywhere love & adore him. And Shari? She sits on the sidelines watching her husband with all of these other children. Somewhere in the back of their minds, they have been wondering if the child bouncing around on Myke's knee was ever going to be their child.

Their dream is coming true this coming Tuesday. Chianna will officially get to meet her mommy & daddy. And after all this time, Myke & Shari will get to hold their daughter.

And me? Well, I'm going to sit back & enjoy the ride as my dear friends become parents for the first time. Congratulations Myke & Shari!

Are you there G-d? It's me. Tammie.

I know I've been away for a while, but I really needed to take a break. Although I'm not as prolific a blogger as some of my friends, I do try to post more than 3 times in a month. I couldn't. This is a hard time for me.

On the 15th of April, I turned 46 years old. Not a bad number to most people. To me, it's a bad one. In 1985, my mom turned 46 years old. Six weeks later she died of a massive heart attack. And life was never the same again.

I have never been more scared than I am right now. I have never been able to see myself any older than my mom was at the age she passed away. It was a number of years before I found out that this is actually a common phenomenon. I knew a gentleman whose wife passed away from cancer after I got married in '88. His daughters had a rough time of it when he started to date & eventually found someone with whom he could spend the rest of his life. One of his daughters was interviewed for a book by Hope Edelman titled "Motherless Daughters." Knowing what I was going through, he recommended I read the book.

It probably saved my life. I had begun to do things that were defeating me in life. Reading this book showed me that I wasn't alone. There were actually many other women out in the world who didn't know what life beyond the age of their mother's passing would look like. I had, & still to this day have, many questions for my mom to answer. And she isn't here to guide me as I go through these experiences.

My gyn asked me when my mother started menopause. I don't know that she ever did. I have no one to go to. My mom wasn't there to guide me through a wedding. My mom wasn't there to guide me through an international adoption. And dammit, I shouldn't have had to name my child after her. She was supposed to be here showing me the ropes. I have no clue when it comes to so many things.

My father felt so much guilt over everything that our relationship fell apart for a very long time. Thankfully, we have a great relationship now, but it took years to get where we are now.

David has always been my rock. At first he refused to admit that there was a problem. After all, just because I look like my mom (Can we say "cloned?"), it doesn't mean that the same things will happen to me. It wasn't until I read "Motherless Daughters" that I was able to verbalize what I was feeling.

I'm much more careful than my mother was.

• I quit smoking about 17 years ago.
• I don't live on 3 pots of coffee a day with almost no food.
• I go to the doctor for checkups & with the exception of a colonoscopy, have had all the recommended tests.
• I don't allow my family to walk all over me. She would do anything for anyone (so would I) even sick (not me!).

Even with the changes I've made in life, I still can't see myself much older. My goal right now is to get to June 1st. That is 6 weeks & 3 days after I turn 46. I think I'll breath a little easier.

After all, I have David & Erin to live for. I have a wonderful group of friends & I really do want to stick around.

Can ya help me out up there G-d?

Do you like The Sound of Music?

I do. It's one of my favorites. This video is great.
Enjoy!

"That's not a nice joke!" Click

That is exactly what happened 6 years ago.

I got "THE CALL" at 2:43 pm at work. After a miserable 14 month wait, my phone call came on April Fool's Day 2003. I was so distressed that I didn't even care who it was that was calling. I hung up all pissed off. How could someone do that to me after 14 long, miserable, hellish months of waiting & wondering & crying. You need to understand that in 2003, 14 months was the absolute longest wait anyone had ever heard of to receive a referral.

Thank G-d that Emily of Great Wall called back. I've never heard anyone speak so quickly & try to keep me on the phone. Screaming she said "No! Wait! Tammie this is really the call. It's not an April Fool's joke." By that time, the woman who had hired me to work for the bank walked into the office. Everyone in the office (both co-workers & clients) was waiting & holding their breath. You could have dropped a pin & heard it.

And the tears started. Not that they've ever really ended. And, yes there are still some tears of frustration. Most of them are tears of love & joy.

Erin's Referral Pic

Taken January 2003




Erin taken just last Friday night at party.

So what does a stranger look like?

This was the topic of tonight's karate class. And boy did the mommies & daddies learn some interesting things!

Sifu Helana asked the children "So what does a stranger look like?"

Answers:

• Someone who wears a black shirt & a black hat.
• Someone who wears a black mask.
• What's a stranger?
• I don't know.

Yikes! These answers were from the elementary school aged children. The middle schoolers gave appropriate answers. Thank G-d.

There have been some pretty bad things going on around the country with strange people driving through neighborhoods & adults in schools doing inappropriate things. These are definitely scary times. Erin is not allowed to play outside without an adult being present. Period. Don't ask. In fact, don't even think about asking. Yes. I've put my foot down on this topic.

Unfortunately, the "bad things" aren't happening just around town. They're happening in our neighborhoods, at the stores & in the schools. The children played a game with Sifu where she asked if an action was "okay" or "not okay." I'm worried by how many actions the children got wrong. And, yes, Erin got too many wrong for me to take this sitting down. We'll be having a talk with her in the next day or two.

When I was about 8 or 9, there were some bad things going down in the town I lived in. And this was back in the 70s! I can clearly remember my mom asking me what I would do if someone came upto me & asked for help or what I would do if someone drove up & asked me for "directions." I think that was the turning point for my mom. She finally realized just how naive I was & made sure that I knew better from that point on.

One of the things that we use is a code word. When someone is picking Erin up from school or camp, they are required to have the code word. And I didn't make it easy either!

PLEASE! Don't wait for something to G-d forbid happen. Cut it off before it even starts. Have that talk with your child(ren) today.

Ultimate Blog Party 2009 is here!!

My friend Viv invited me to take part in "Ultimate Blog Party 2009." I must tell you all that I'm not as computer savvy as I would like to be so please bear with me. This party is being run by the ladies over at 5MinutesforMom. Lots of prizes & tons of fun! Go on over & take a peek 'cause they have some neat stuff!

If you haven't stopped by here before this, let me introduce myself. My name is Tamme, & I am one happy mommy to a super 6 year old named Erin. My husband & I adopted Erin at 10 months old from China. It was a heck of a journey that truly has ony just begun.

We're a pretty busy bunch over. Erin is enjoying 1st grade & loves her school. She is a purple belt in karate & well on her way to wowing the instructors of her martial arts school. This is one focused child. We call her "The Powerhouse."

I'm pretty active myself between 2 jobs, raising my daughter, 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 fish & a husband. In my spare time, I'm an active member of our local chapter of Families with Children from China. I enjoy reading, scrapbooking & playing on my very own Nintendo DS. (That thing is pretty darn addictive!) Blogging has become central to our family. I have found it to be a great way to keep in touch with family & friends across the States. I'm also addicted FaceBook - much to my husband's chagrin. (Not that he's any better mind you!)

If chosen for a prize, my top 3 choices would be:

1. #47 - Choice of pink or green Fuzzy Monkey Headphones (in pink)
2. INTL 23 - Blog Makeover BLOGGER platform only
3. #58 - Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer

Our Pets

Winsong Arwen Evenstar

a/k/a Star

Deanna Troi

a/k/a Troi

William T. Riker

a/k/a Riker

Are you sensing a theme here? Yes. You're right. The dogs in our family are all named for characters from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The cats are all named for characters from the Star Trek series. The fish you ask? Who are they named after? Why Nemo of course!

We are definitely a consistently odd bunch in our household.

We did it for the first time

Yup. We did it. Our first time ever.

Huh? What? You did what?

We went out last night for the first time. Without Erin. (She's been home since she was 10 months old & is now 6 1/2.) And boy was I scared.

Now, mind you, we don't leave Erin with "just anyone." Originally we were going to have our friend Debbie keep Erin while we went out. Unfortunately, Debbie is sick. Not "ugh I have a cold" sick, but losing her stomach sick. This flu is going around, & it is no fun. At least that's what Debbie has been telling us. And I have no intentions of finding out either.

When I told Lisa that we were going to cancel going to David's reunion because Debbie was so sick, she just about busted a gut. She insisted that we drop Erin off at her house for the evening. Lisa has been offering to watch Erin so we could have a night out forever. David was so happy to be able to leave Erin with someone we trust as implicitly as we trust Lisa.

We dropped Erin off around 6:45, & Lisa barely let me in to say good-bye. That was it. Erin was hers for the night. And the spoiling began! Apparently Erin's in a growth spurt. She gobbled down the chicken nuggets Lisa had bought for dinner. Then she had a special desert - strawberries with whipped cream. Later on it was pound cake - something she's never had before but is now asking me to buy.

We got to Lisa's house really late - about 11:30. Erin was so sleepy but couldn't wait to tell us all about her special play date with Dante & Olivia. And she was so happy to inform us that she ate all of her chicken nuggets. All 4 of them.

Lisa, thanks for taking such good care of our princess! She had a blast at your house & never complained once that she didn't get to come with us to her daddy's party. On top of that, no sleep issues.

Where have all the years gone?

Growing up, both David & I were members of the B'nai Brith Youth Organization. It's a wonderful group & has given us a lifetime of memories along with amazing friends. While we both belonged to BBYO, I belonged to the NSR Region (Nassau-Suffolk) in NY & David belonged to the Gold Coast Council in FL.

FaceBook has given me the opportunity to reunite online with my friends from BBG. It was wonderful to hear from Adrian, Ellie, Niki & Meryl. Time & distance have changed but we still seem to be basically the same. During the course of finding my pals, I found out that there was going to be a BIG reunion. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend. It's not as easy to just pick up & go as I'd like. We have a group on FB so I got to see the pics & video clips. It looks like everyone had a blast.

David, on the other hand, is still friendly with a few of the people from that era. Or rather, I'm friendly with some of them. Let's face it. My husband is the love of my life, but he is no social butterfly. One of our close friends is actually his very first girlfriend. Faith lives seconds away from us. She got on a kick a few months ago about wanting to find the people from this era.

We all thought she was nuts, but we all should have known better. Faith on a mission is undeterred. She found almost everyone!

Last night we had a reunion of the L'Atid & Exodus BBYO chapters at a local restaurant. I've known some of these people in one way or another since 1982 - the year I met David. My husband usually goes nowhere. I was really proud of him for making the decision to go last night. Watching him meet up with his old friends & reminisce was great. There is nothing that makes me happier than watching him smile & hearing him laugh. Last night I had a glimpse of the 19 year old boy I fell in love with. He was one of the key people in his chapter. According to Faith, many people just wanted to know if Dave was going to be at the reunion. He was really concerned because he isn't who he used to be. I reminded him that none of us are who we used to be. Thank G-d!

For the first time in about 20 years, I was the one on the outside looking in. It was sort of odd since I'm the social butterfly in this relationship. I was thrilled though. He got to see his old friends, chit chat & have a good time.

Many of us in the group have children in college. Then there are those of us (David & I) who will have children in college & be using walkers. ;-) Some of the people realized that our children are older now than when they were all palling around "back then."

It was a great night. Thanks to Faith for putting this all together.

Pics later!

The Infamous Jump Split

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

David wasn't able to be in class when Erin got her gold star for a perfect split. This is what he missed.