What do you say to the people who are waiting? & waiting & waiting.
Can you say that the end result is worth it? Can you say that your child is just not ready to show him/herself to you yet? Can you say that once your child is in your arms the wait time goes away?
Yes. You can say all that & certainly more. However, the person who is waiting doesn't want to hear any of this. At the moment in time when you're hoping & praying for a referral, you don't want to hear the usual platitudes. You just want to know who your child is & when you can travel to them so you can hold him/her in your arms. You want to put a stop to the questions people are asking. The questions that you have no answer to.
How do I know this?
Easy. (Ha!) David & I started our journey October 15, 2000. Being the person that I am, I knew that I needed no help - from anyone (even our agency SW). Duh! Big mistake. I did all of our paperwork perfectly. Just backwards. And because I did it all backwards, I ended up having to do much of it over again because it expired. Our official DTC (Dossier to China) date was February 28, 2002. Do you see a problem with the dates here? Oh yes. My pride got in the way.
I was lucky enough to have that referral date though. Why? Because I managed to make the most amazing friends. The February Waiting Hearts group had the longest DTC to referral date at that time - 13/14 months depending upon whether you got your referral on March 31st or April 1st. My dear friend Sandra got her referral for Jazzie on march 31st. I opened my email to see Jazzie's face & hear "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed. (Now when I hear that song, I cry in remembrance of that special day.) I also met my dear friend Susan who lives in FL also. Without these 2 special women I wouldn't have made it.
My call came on April 1st a/k/a April Fool's Day. I had been so upset crying for days that we weren't getting our referral. I thought for sure that our agency was waiting to tell us that we had been declined although my brain knew that this wasn't possible. When the call finally came at 2:45 pm I was at work. When Emily told me it was my turn, I screamed at her that her joke was not funny & hung up. Yes. I hung up on my agency. Thank G-d she called back seconds later. As I sat in the bank crying, all of my co-workers & clients came over & sat to wait while I received the information about Chun HuaXu soon to be known as Erin Chelsie. And then I proceeded to call David with the news.
What do you say?
You say that the wait is horrible. You say that the tears are worth it. You say that you will be there for the waiting families to cry with them as they continue to wait.
And you say that you will cry tears of absolute joy when their turn comes.
Monday, October 29th, my dear friends Lori & Marc will celebrate as their son Ethan joins their family in China. Here in the United States, I will wait to see their email & then cry. Tears of joy.
And I will cry when I hear of more families being united with their children. Because that is what we do.