Tonight I had to get Erin ready for her first day of pre-K. There was a lot to do.
First & foremost, I had to get Erin to try on clothing - something she absolutely hates to do. It seemed to have taken forever, but we got it done. Tons of jeans & other things that we have to give away - most of it never worn due to her petite size. Let's face it, Erin is really petite. I still have a few shorts left that are 18 months or 2T. Her length is ready for 4T but her waist is still in the 2T/3T zone. Living in Florida & being able to wear shorts 90% of the time has a whole new meaning of ease to it!
After I finished getting her backpack almost ready to go, David & I sat down to do our homework for pre-K. We have to send Erin in this week with 3 pictures - a baby picture, a recent picture & a family picture. Wow! That was hard. We haven't had a family photo done since Erin came into our lives. Thankfully, my MIL had insisted on a huge family photo 2 years ago after Rosh HaShanah dinner. David scanned the photo & edited out the rest of the family. I have a perfect recent picture from her 3rd Forever Family Day about a month ago.
When it came time to find a baby picture, I broke down. I sat at my computer & just cried so hard. Poor David didn't know what happened. When I calmed down enough to tell him what was wrong, he just sat there & listened. Needing to send in a baby picture of Erin reminded me that we missed the first 10 months of her life & all of the milestones that entailed. Most of the time I don't think about it, but this was one of the times that it hit really hard. David suggested we send in one of Erin's referral pictures as her baby picture. I explained to him that while we love those pictures, I feel that they are Erin's & are private. I do have some pictures from when she was in the orphanage, but I really feel as if they are not ours to share with her teachers & classmates. I believe that is Erin's story, & she will need to make the decision to share that time in her life or not.
2 comments:
Oh Tammie....I feel your sadness. Big hugs to you! Why don't you send in a picture of Erin on one of the first days you had her? This is how she joined your family and there is nothing wrong with that! Good luck tomorrow. Our girls is growing up :-(
Tammie:
It is really quite something that such a seemingly standard request such as this can really pose quite a dilemma for those of us who have chosen this path to parenthood. I really could feel the pain that you must have felt and saw a small glimpse into our future with Katie Starr. So much joy tinged with a smatterings of pain for our precious girls sad beginnings.
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