Shari & Myke.

They won! They fought the battle & won it all!

My friends Shari & Myke left for Vietnam Friday night to adopt their beautiful child Chianna. Adoption in Vietnam is very different than adoption from China - unless of course things have vastly changed since 2003. Shari & Myke were supposed to visit Chianna yesterday and have their G&R (Giving & Receiving) ceremony this afternoon. Their Vietnam contact Thuy told them that orphanage was moving up the G&R to 9:00 am today so when they went for their visit yesterday, they were allowed to take custoday of Chianna & bring her back to their hotel. After the adoption battle they went through, this was truly a blessing.

I have been following this journey of their's from the very beginning. Let me say that I have never seen a man so involved in the adoption process. Most of the women I know say that they filled out the paperwork, & their spouses followed along wherever they were led. Who knows? Was it easier for them to do it this way? Did it actually happen this way, or is it what they remember of the process? Are the women just that much more organized? I don't know. David was this way. I think of it as being shell-shocked. Myke seemed to be very into the whole process.

The other night, I was talking with him. It came to me during this conversation how similar he is to my own husband. Both of them went along on the Adoption Roller Coaster to Hell. Both of them supported their wives during the ups & the downs. And both of them said to me that until they take custody of their child, it wasn't really happening.

Myke, if you ever read this, I am so happy that you have gotten off the Adoption Roller Coaster to Hell. Seeing the picture of you in the car, almost praying, brought me to tears. I know in my heart of hearts that you're going to be a hell of a daddy. (G-d knows you've had plenty of practice with your own niece & now nephew &, of course, with all of the FCC children.) I know that you have many of the same worries. It will all be fine in the end. And, Mr. Pied Piper of S FL, we can safely say that your special magic works no matter what country you are in.

Shari, I couldn't be any happier for you than I am right now. There are no words that I can think of. You are a persistent woman & once you have a goal in sight, there is nothing that will stop you.

Congratulations Mommy & Daddy! Welcome to the Roller Coaster of Parenthood!

Finally!! Notification of Citizenship Application

When David & I traveled to China in 2003, we brought home one amazing little baby. Erin became a citizen the minute we stepped onto US land. That was a law. It went into effect not too long before we received her referral.

Too bad, the US government agencies didn't acknowledge their own law! It was a fight when I called & asked why we received a green card for Erin in the mail. It was a fight when I applied for Erin's social security number. It was a fight when I tried to get her covered for health & life insurance. It was even a fight when I opened her bank accounts. Sheesh! What the heck use is a law if no one will recognize it!?

After a while, I got tired of the fight & let it go. In July 2007, David & I filled out the paperwork to have Erin officially recognized as an American citizen.

Yesterday, the notice came in the mail. On Tuesday, May 12, 2009 David & I will take Erin down to have her sworn in as an American citizen!!

Chianna's COMING HOME!!!!

A million years ago, when Erin was a very little girl, David & I were shopping in Target. A pretty nice guy stopped us to ask a few questions (if we didn't mind that is).

Today, that nice guy & his sweet wife left to go bring their daughter home! Myke & Shari have over the last few years become a very important part of our lives. Erin absolutely adores Myke. After all, he is the Pied Piper of the FCC-SFL. Children everywhere love & adore him. And Shari? She sits on the sidelines watching her husband with all of these other children. Somewhere in the back of their minds, they have been wondering if the child bouncing around on Myke's knee was ever going to be their child.

Their dream is coming true this coming Tuesday. Chianna will officially get to meet her mommy & daddy. And after all this time, Myke & Shari will get to hold their daughter.

And me? Well, I'm going to sit back & enjoy the ride as my dear friends become parents for the first time. Congratulations Myke & Shari!

Are you there G-d? It's me. Tammie.

I know I've been away for a while, but I really needed to take a break. Although I'm not as prolific a blogger as some of my friends, I do try to post more than 3 times in a month. I couldn't. This is a hard time for me.

On the 15th of April, I turned 46 years old. Not a bad number to most people. To me, it's a bad one. In 1985, my mom turned 46 years old. Six weeks later she died of a massive heart attack. And life was never the same again.

I have never been more scared than I am right now. I have never been able to see myself any older than my mom was at the age she passed away. It was a number of years before I found out that this is actually a common phenomenon. I knew a gentleman whose wife passed away from cancer after I got married in '88. His daughters had a rough time of it when he started to date & eventually found someone with whom he could spend the rest of his life. One of his daughters was interviewed for a book by Hope Edelman titled "Motherless Daughters." Knowing what I was going through, he recommended I read the book.

It probably saved my life. I had begun to do things that were defeating me in life. Reading this book showed me that I wasn't alone. There were actually many other women out in the world who didn't know what life beyond the age of their mother's passing would look like. I had, & still to this day have, many questions for my mom to answer. And she isn't here to guide me as I go through these experiences.

My gyn asked me when my mother started menopause. I don't know that she ever did. I have no one to go to. My mom wasn't there to guide me through a wedding. My mom wasn't there to guide me through an international adoption. And dammit, I shouldn't have had to name my child after her. She was supposed to be here showing me the ropes. I have no clue when it comes to so many things.

My father felt so much guilt over everything that our relationship fell apart for a very long time. Thankfully, we have a great relationship now, but it took years to get where we are now.

David has always been my rock. At first he refused to admit that there was a problem. After all, just because I look like my mom (Can we say "cloned?"), it doesn't mean that the same things will happen to me. It wasn't until I read "Motherless Daughters" that I was able to verbalize what I was feeling.

I'm much more careful than my mother was.

• I quit smoking about 17 years ago.
• I don't live on 3 pots of coffee a day with almost no food.
• I go to the doctor for checkups & with the exception of a colonoscopy, have had all the recommended tests.
• I don't allow my family to walk all over me. She would do anything for anyone (so would I) even sick (not me!).

Even with the changes I've made in life, I still can't see myself much older. My goal right now is to get to June 1st. That is 6 weeks & 3 days after I turn 46. I think I'll breath a little easier.

After all, I have David & Erin to live for. I have a wonderful group of friends & I really do want to stick around.

Can ya help me out up there G-d?

Do you like The Sound of Music?

I do. It's one of my favorites. This video is great.
Enjoy!

"That's not a nice joke!" Click

That is exactly what happened 6 years ago.

I got "THE CALL" at 2:43 pm at work. After a miserable 14 month wait, my phone call came on April Fool's Day 2003. I was so distressed that I didn't even care who it was that was calling. I hung up all pissed off. How could someone do that to me after 14 long, miserable, hellish months of waiting & wondering & crying. You need to understand that in 2003, 14 months was the absolute longest wait anyone had ever heard of to receive a referral.

Thank G-d that Emily of Great Wall called back. I've never heard anyone speak so quickly & try to keep me on the phone. Screaming she said "No! Wait! Tammie this is really the call. It's not an April Fool's joke." By that time, the woman who had hired me to work for the bank walked into the office. Everyone in the office (both co-workers & clients) was waiting & holding their breath. You could have dropped a pin & heard it.

And the tears started. Not that they've ever really ended. And, yes there are still some tears of frustration. Most of them are tears of love & joy.

Erin's Referral Pic

Taken January 2003




Erin taken just last Friday night at party.

So what does a stranger look like?

This was the topic of tonight's karate class. And boy did the mommies & daddies learn some interesting things!

Sifu Helana asked the children "So what does a stranger look like?"

Answers:

• Someone who wears a black shirt & a black hat.
• Someone who wears a black mask.
• What's a stranger?
• I don't know.

Yikes! These answers were from the elementary school aged children. The middle schoolers gave appropriate answers. Thank G-d.

There have been some pretty bad things going on around the country with strange people driving through neighborhoods & adults in schools doing inappropriate things. These are definitely scary times. Erin is not allowed to play outside without an adult being present. Period. Don't ask. In fact, don't even think about asking. Yes. I've put my foot down on this topic.

Unfortunately, the "bad things" aren't happening just around town. They're happening in our neighborhoods, at the stores & in the schools. The children played a game with Sifu where she asked if an action was "okay" or "not okay." I'm worried by how many actions the children got wrong. And, yes, Erin got too many wrong for me to take this sitting down. We'll be having a talk with her in the next day or two.

When I was about 8 or 9, there were some bad things going down in the town I lived in. And this was back in the 70s! I can clearly remember my mom asking me what I would do if someone came upto me & asked for help or what I would do if someone drove up & asked me for "directions." I think that was the turning point for my mom. She finally realized just how naive I was & made sure that I knew better from that point on.

One of the things that we use is a code word. When someone is picking Erin up from school or camp, they are required to have the code word. And I didn't make it easy either!

PLEASE! Don't wait for something to G-d forbid happen. Cut it off before it even starts. Have that talk with your child(ren) today.

Ultimate Blog Party 2009 is here!!

My friend Viv invited me to take part in "Ultimate Blog Party 2009." I must tell you all that I'm not as computer savvy as I would like to be so please bear with me. This party is being run by the ladies over at 5MinutesforMom. Lots of prizes & tons of fun! Go on over & take a peek 'cause they have some neat stuff!

If you haven't stopped by here before this, let me introduce myself. My name is Tamme, & I am one happy mommy to a super 6 year old named Erin. My husband & I adopted Erin at 10 months old from China. It was a heck of a journey that truly has ony just begun.

We're a pretty busy bunch over. Erin is enjoying 1st grade & loves her school. She is a purple belt in karate & well on her way to wowing the instructors of her martial arts school. This is one focused child. We call her "The Powerhouse."

I'm pretty active myself between 2 jobs, raising my daughter, 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 fish & a husband. In my spare time, I'm an active member of our local chapter of Families with Children from China. I enjoy reading, scrapbooking & playing on my very own Nintendo DS. (That thing is pretty darn addictive!) Blogging has become central to our family. I have found it to be a great way to keep in touch with family & friends across the States. I'm also addicted FaceBook - much to my husband's chagrin. (Not that he's any better mind you!)

If chosen for a prize, my top 3 choices would be:

1. #47 - Choice of pink or green Fuzzy Monkey Headphones (in pink)
2. INTL 23 - Blog Makeover BLOGGER platform only
3. #58 - Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer

Our Pets

Winsong Arwen Evenstar

a/k/a Star

Deanna Troi

a/k/a Troi

William T. Riker

a/k/a Riker

Are you sensing a theme here? Yes. You're right. The dogs in our family are all named for characters from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The cats are all named for characters from the Star Trek series. The fish you ask? Who are they named after? Why Nemo of course!

We are definitely a consistently odd bunch in our household.

We did it for the first time

Yup. We did it. Our first time ever.

Huh? What? You did what?

We went out last night for the first time. Without Erin. (She's been home since she was 10 months old & is now 6 1/2.) And boy was I scared.

Now, mind you, we don't leave Erin with "just anyone." Originally we were going to have our friend Debbie keep Erin while we went out. Unfortunately, Debbie is sick. Not "ugh I have a cold" sick, but losing her stomach sick. This flu is going around, & it is no fun. At least that's what Debbie has been telling us. And I have no intentions of finding out either.

When I told Lisa that we were going to cancel going to David's reunion because Debbie was so sick, she just about busted a gut. She insisted that we drop Erin off at her house for the evening. Lisa has been offering to watch Erin so we could have a night out forever. David was so happy to be able to leave Erin with someone we trust as implicitly as we trust Lisa.

We dropped Erin off around 6:45, & Lisa barely let me in to say good-bye. That was it. Erin was hers for the night. And the spoiling began! Apparently Erin's in a growth spurt. She gobbled down the chicken nuggets Lisa had bought for dinner. Then she had a special desert - strawberries with whipped cream. Later on it was pound cake - something she's never had before but is now asking me to buy.

We got to Lisa's house really late - about 11:30. Erin was so sleepy but couldn't wait to tell us all about her special play date with Dante & Olivia. And she was so happy to inform us that she ate all of her chicken nuggets. All 4 of them.

Lisa, thanks for taking such good care of our princess! She had a blast at your house & never complained once that she didn't get to come with us to her daddy's party. On top of that, no sleep issues.

Where have all the years gone?

Growing up, both David & I were members of the B'nai Brith Youth Organization. It's a wonderful group & has given us a lifetime of memories along with amazing friends. While we both belonged to BBYO, I belonged to the NSR Region (Nassau-Suffolk) in NY & David belonged to the Gold Coast Council in FL.

FaceBook has given me the opportunity to reunite online with my friends from BBG. It was wonderful to hear from Adrian, Ellie, Niki & Meryl. Time & distance have changed but we still seem to be basically the same. During the course of finding my pals, I found out that there was going to be a BIG reunion. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend. It's not as easy to just pick up & go as I'd like. We have a group on FB so I got to see the pics & video clips. It looks like everyone had a blast.

David, on the other hand, is still friendly with a few of the people from that era. Or rather, I'm friendly with some of them. Let's face it. My husband is the love of my life, but he is no social butterfly. One of our close friends is actually his very first girlfriend. Faith lives seconds away from us. She got on a kick a few months ago about wanting to find the people from this era.

We all thought she was nuts, but we all should have known better. Faith on a mission is undeterred. She found almost everyone!

Last night we had a reunion of the L'Atid & Exodus BBYO chapters at a local restaurant. I've known some of these people in one way or another since 1982 - the year I met David. My husband usually goes nowhere. I was really proud of him for making the decision to go last night. Watching him meet up with his old friends & reminisce was great. There is nothing that makes me happier than watching him smile & hearing him laugh. Last night I had a glimpse of the 19 year old boy I fell in love with. He was one of the key people in his chapter. According to Faith, many people just wanted to know if Dave was going to be at the reunion. He was really concerned because he isn't who he used to be. I reminded him that none of us are who we used to be. Thank G-d!

For the first time in about 20 years, I was the one on the outside looking in. It was sort of odd since I'm the social butterfly in this relationship. I was thrilled though. He got to see his old friends, chit chat & have a good time.

Many of us in the group have children in college. Then there are those of us (David & I) who will have children in college & be using walkers. ;-) Some of the people realized that our children are older now than when they were all palling around "back then."

It was a great night. Thanks to Faith for putting this all together.

Pics later!

The Infamous Jump Split

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

David wasn't able to be in class when Erin got her gold star for a perfect split. This is what he missed.

Six

Magi tagged me for this fun meme! I hope you enjoy it when I tag you! Here are the rules:

1. Go to your pictures folder & select the 6th folder.
2. Select the 6th picture in the folder.
3. Tag 6 people.

Next up?

1. Gretchen
2. Vivian
3. Lori
4. Super Mommy
5. Sandra (I know you don't usually do these but hope you will since pics are your great hobby.)
6. Shari

It Happened So Quickly! (Saturday, 2/21/09)

During Saturday's karate class, so much was going on that I didn't think to have my camera out & ready to snap away. (Bad scrapbooker! Bad scrapbooker!)

One of the goals that each student has is to achieve a full split. When this is accomplished, the student gets a gold star for their gi. Erin jumped in the air & landed in a split! Sifu & Mrs. Crisman were in shock. And Erin? She just kept doing it! With the biggest smile on her face.

Daddy will be sewing her gold star onto her gi this evening so she can show it off in class next week.

From Orange to Purple in an Hour (Monday, 2/23/09)

First you sit & wait to be told to get onto the mat.

Then you kick with all your might.

(And a whole bunch of other stuff that didn't come out on mommy's camera.)

Then you get this!

Your purple belt.

Congratulations Erin!

Mama & Dada are so darn proud of you!

A New Beginning. Again.

It's been a long time coming. I joined Weight Watchers before Erin came home & lost quite a bit of weight. Now she's been home 5.5 years, & the weight is just about all back. I find it very depressing to contemplate.

My clothing fits poorly. I don't like to go out & buy new clothing because it's so hard to find it in my size. My feet swell up worse now than ever. In general I feel crappy. Of course it doesn't help that I hurt my back before Halloween. It's no excuse.

Today I did something about it. I rejoined Weight Watchers in an effort to lose what has been regained & then some.

Problem? What Problem?

The state of education is really pissing me off.

My stepmother has been teaching for 30 years. This week she told me that all of the staff in her school district will be receiving a notice of layoff within the next month. WHAT!?!? Everyone??? Her school district in CA doesn't have enough money left in the budget to pay anyone. How the hell can that happen!?

What will happen to the children? How do they get an education without teachers? According to Nancy the long-term teachers probably won't lose their jobs but classes will be getting considerably bigger. So much for the low teacher/student ration.

What will happen to the people who depend on the income from these jobs? I can't imagine. Oh, and by the way, once these people have their jobs eliminated or they retire, they also lose their medical benefits up to & including prescription coverage. Nice? I think not.

Do we have problems? With what? I don't see any problems. Wanna guess who believes that line of horse hockey? Ugh!

Who Knew I Was Fabulous? Not Me!

And the rules are:

1. Pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs including the one that gave it to you.
2. List 5 of your fabulous addictions.

I really do look forward to reading all of my blogs so these awards are getting kind of hard. However, there are a few that are truly fabulous.

1. The Daily Grind - Jazzie & Tahlia - Sandra takes some of the most amazing pics of her girls. Whether she started snapping away when Jazzie came home or if she was snapping before, the pics are wonderful. Sandra's subjects range from cooking/baking with her girls, to the challenges she finds as the mother of 2 girls to PADS (post adoption depression syndrome). She is open & honest.
2. Life With Kerri - I'll admit it. Viv's blog is special to me. After all, Kerri is my goddaughter. I look forward to reading her blog since they live way too far away from me. Even Erin looks forward to seeing the pics of Kerri. Viv's sense of humor comes through in her writing.
3. Our Red Thread Family (password protected) - I met Dawn through Lori & haven't looked back once. I look forward to reading all about the adventures of Lily & Rose. Her girls are just too delicious for words. Then there's her hubby Jacob - my partner in crime when it comes to lobster bisque & tootsie rolls. Dawn's writing style thrills me to pieces. I can actually here her chatting away as I read her blog.
4. A Houseful of Critters - Gretchen has a great sense of humor. I look forward to reading about Elise the girly girl of all time. Just seeing Elise's dresses makes me drool since Erin won't wear them. Her son Carson is one cool kid. He seems to be as much a boy as a mom could want. And of course reading about Gretchen & Perry's doings also intrigues me.
5. Stress is the New Black - Lori is an amazing woman. Yes, she is the mom to 3 special people. Katie Starr keeps me in stitches with her serious side & then immediately switching to the fun-loving girl. Ethan is Erin's very special guy. No one understands it, but they have an amazing connection. Then there is her son Justin. Truly this young man is a product of his parents. I love reading all about the happenings in their home. Then there is Lori herself. Have I mentioned that she is amazing? With everything going on in her household, she always takes the time to make sure her friends are well-taken card of. Her guy Marc? You have to love a man who changes his FB status just so I can make a comment. Thanks for the award Lori!!

5 Fabulous Addictions? Uh oh. I can't believe that I have to limit myself. Let's see.

1. Coffee - Tim Hortons, Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks
2. Coca Cola - NOT Pepsi. COKE.
3. Scrapbooking - Thanks for the addiction Lisa! I've passed it on to Viv. :-)
4. Reading - for pleasure only (romances, smut, magazines, mystery, true crime)
5. Erin - Do I really have to say anything else??

So there you have it. My 5.

30 Years Later

When I was 8, we moved to Long Island. They were living in the house across the street. Our moms & dads were very good friends - not just family. We used to just walk into each others' homes - no knocking or ringing doorbells for us. At some point our moms had a falling out, but we never stopped talking. I guess kids just know better when it comes to certain things.

When I was 16, we moved to Florida. After a while, we lost touch with each other. Now it is 30 years later, & we're back in touch with each other. I love FaceBook!

As you know, my name is Tammie, & I am a FaceBook addict. Well, over the last few months I've been searching for family & old friends. After not having contact for 30 years, I found my cousins Alan & Joni. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Alan & I used to tease each other mercilessly as kids but always had a connection.

I'm older by a few months. The year we turned 13, we knew we would be required to fast on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). The holiday came, & I was already 13 so I was fasting. Alan's birthday is in December so he wasn't 13 yet thereby not fasting. I can remember him walking into my house carrying a plate of cherry pie, eating it & making "yum" noises. Then he looked at me & said "Gee. I guess you can't have any." He was lucky I didn't throw something at him! Of course, when I got sick, he was right there with me too. It was a great relationship.

His sister Joni is older than me by a year but I always looked up to her. At 15, she really didn't want anything to do with a younger cousin but she always made time for me. She introduced me to Chicago, Elton John, poetry along with lots of other things.

Unfortunately, Joni had a very early flight home this morning so we didn't get to meet up. Alan & I met up at a local restaurant. It really felt as if no time had passed even though we are now 45 & both have children. He looks just like his dad with his mom's coloring. And, of course, he told me that I looked just like my mom.

I can't wait for us to get together again. Next time we're going to one of our homes & bringing old family pictures to browse.

Great Wall FL Celebrates Chinese New Year! (Sunday, January 18th)

Here it is. The whole reason we went up to Orlando. The Great Wall China Adoption FL Families celebration of Chinese New Year! And boy did we all welcome in the Year of the Ox!!

Susan works very hard to put together a great party for everyone. Of course, I'll admit it, she gets people to work with her, & they all work hard. In the end though, everyone always has a blast.

Erin is ready to party!

Jolene put bows into Erin's hair & she kept them in!

Erin & Uncle Art (our annual pic of these 2)

Erin with Ethan & Katie Starr (a/k/a The Dynamic Duo) & their amazing mom Lori

The virtual tripliets - Erin with Julianna & Isabella

Candy, Rachel & David

Hannah, Olivia, Erin, Julianna & Isabella (another annual pic)

Jolene selling her fabulous clothing & bows

Marc - hard at work entertaining everyone

This man knows how to party!

Erin modeling her Fu outfit - one of Jolene's creations